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311. The Holiday Survival Plan for Runners: Stay Lean, Stay Strong, Stay Sane

December 12, 2025 By Patrick McGilvray

The holidays can feel like a minefield for runners—parties, travel, family dynamics, big emotions, endless food, disrupted routines… it’s a lot. That’s why in this week’s episode, “The Holiday …

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Podcast Transcript

My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner sports nutritionist, master life coach, and weight loss coach. For runners, I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you, properly fuel your body and your mind so you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought. Possible. This is running Lean.

Hey there, and welcome to episode 311 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners, and today the holiday survival plan for runners. Stay lean, stay strong, stay sane. So the holidays can feel like a minefield for a lot of people, especially runners. We got parties and travel and family dynamics and big emotions and endless food and disrupted routines.

It’s a lot. It really is a lot. That’s why in this week’s episode called the holiday survival plan for runners, I’m giving you some simple. Realistic, no nonsense plans, tips, strategies to help you navigate this season with some confidence. Listen, this is not going to be another Avoid the cookies conversation.

This is about staying mentally grounded, honoring your goals, staying consistent with your training, and actually enjoying the holidays without, without feeling like you’re constantly battling temptation or starting over in January, don’t want to do that. You’re gonna learn how to handle parties and food pressure, and travel and stress and emotional eating and schedule chaos.

Without losing momentum and without feeling deprived. So if you want this holiday season to feel easier, calmer, and more intentional, you’re absolutely going to want to listen to this one. But first, listen, if you’re feeling stuck at all right now, if running feels harder than it should, if you’re constantly trying to get back on track, if you’re tired of doing this on your own and not seeing the results that you want, this is your moment.

Most runners think they just need a better plan. More motivation, more willpower. But what they really need is a proven system, real accountability. Someone who actually understands the unique challenges that runners face with things like fueling and training and mindset and body composition. And that’s exactly what you get when you work with me.

My coaching program is designed to make running feel easier, uh, make your body feel stronger, make your mind feel clear, and your results finally feel predictable. You get one-on-one guidance, personalized nutrition, structured strength training, mindset work, and a coach who is fully invested in your success.

If you’re ready for running to feel fun again, who isn’t, and to become the strongest, leanest, most confident version of yourself, now is the time to take action. Just head over to running lean coaching.com and click on work with me. Let’s do this. All right, let’s get into this topic, the Holiday Survival Plan for runners, how to stay lean, stay strong, and stay sane.

First of all, let’s start here. Why do the holidays feel so hard? Um, if you’ve struggled with staying consistent during the holidays in the past, welcome to the club. Uh, I’ve done that many, many years. Every runner I coach deals with this. Every coach I know deals with this. You’re not lacking willpower.

You’re not lazy. There’s nothing wrong with you. The holiday season is like the perfect storm for losing progress. Here’s some reasons why your routine gets disrupted. Kids are off school travel ramps up, work deadlines pile up. Social events explode, your stress goes up. Stuff like family dynamics, financial pressure, emotional triggers, expectations, your operate operating under more low than normal.

Uh, food is everywhere and not just any food. Hyper palatable, nostalgic, emotional food, comfort food. Sugar. Alcohol consumption increases even if you’re usually pretty moderate. A lot of people tend to drink more this time of the year. Sleep takes a hit, late nights parties travel, stress. It all adds up to reduce the quality of your sleep.

Weather sucks for many people, which means running gets harder to commit to and then daylight decreases, which affects your mood, your motivation, your energy. And on top of all of this, as if that wasn’t enough, there’s this pressure internal and ex external pressure to quote unquote, like enjoy the holidays, which often people will just translate to.

I’m just gonna give up for now and get back to things on January. In January. But those weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, they add up. A few pounds of fat, uh, a few weeks of lost fitness, and suddenly February rolls around and you’re asking yourself, why do I feel so behind? So, the goal of this episode is pretty simple.

I wanna help you to enjoy the holidays and keep your health and fitness goals on track. Without feeling deprived or stressed out, not one or the other. You get to have both. So let’s build a plan. First of all, you gotta get your mindset dialed in before the holidays start. So right now is the time to get started with this.

If you want to go into the holidays with, you know, no plan, no boundaries, no intentions, you’re gonna default into whatever’s easiest and that, and what’s easiest usually is not what you want. Okay? So number one, step number one here is to decide right now. Who you are going to be this holiday season, you can choose to be the runner who spirals outta control every December, or the runner who becomes a stronger, more resilient version of themselves because of the TA challenges they’re facing, not in spite of them.

So just make this decision now. Seriously, stop what you’re doing and decide who are you going to be this holiday season. Say it out loud if you need to. If you’re driving in the car, if you’re by yourself, if you’re with other people, it, it would be weird, but I think you should do it anyway. Nobody’s gonna judge you.

Well, people might judge you. I’m not gonna judge you. So that’s step number one. Decide right. Step number two, choose your non-negotiables. You don’t need 30 rules. You need like two to four things that are non-negotiables for you. So some examples might be, I’m gonna run four days a week no matter what, or I’m gonna strength train twice a week.

I’m gonna eat real food. 90% of the time I’m gonna drink water before I have any alcohol. I’m gonna get at least seven hours of sleep most nights. I’m not gonna skip my morning routine. These are non-negotiables that act like guardrails ’cause, so they help you from veering off the cliff. Okay? So just pick a couple of these, pick two or three, write them down and just own them.

Step number three is to expect obstacles. So you gotta decide ahead of time how you’re going to handle these obstacles, but you have to expect them. If you think there’s not gonna be obstacles, you’re gonna be in for a, a, a sad surprise, most people get derailed because something unexpected happens. But guess what?

None of the obstacles during the holidays. Are actually unexpected. You know, there will be parties, you know, there will be family stress. You know, people will pressure you to eat and drink. You know, you’ll be tired some days. So instead of, whoa, where did all this come from? Ask yourself, how do I want to respond when this thing happens?

Because it will happen. So create responses ahead of time. This is one of the most powerful mindset tools that you can use. Okay, so next part here is how to handle holiday parties like a pro. Holiday parties aren’t the problem, it’s how people think about them. Most runners go in with a very vague plan, like, I’m gonna try to be good.

That is not a plan, that is a wish. So here’s how to navigate parties without feeling deprived or obsessed. So strategy number one. Eat like a normal person earlier in the day. Don’t starve yourself to save calories for later. That’s the fastest path to overeating. Bingeing drinking too much, feeling outta control.

I know a lot of people that do this are like, I’m just not gonna eat anything that way. You know, I’ll when I eat at this party or whatever. Um, it won’t be too bad, but the problem is you’re just, it can lead to some really outta control behavior. So eat some food, eat real food, eat protein, eat fats, eat veggies, drink lots of water, go into the party, feeling satisfied, not starving.

This is a huge strategy and this works for any kind of social event. Uh, doesn’t have to be just around the holidays. Uh, strategy number two, decide ahead of time what your 24 hour plan is. So. Ask yourself, will I drink tomorrow night? If yes, how much will I have dessert at this party? Yes. Okay. How much, um, what’s my food plan gonna be at this party?

Plates of snacks or one intentional meal? Decide ahead of time. ’cause when you do that, you’re using that prefrontal cortex, you’re. Uh, your, your thinking part of your brain when you decide in the moment you’re using that, uh, primitive brain, your amygdala, and we don’t wanna be relying on that to make decisions for us.

So one of these, uh, one of these wants long-term success. The other just wants to eat a bunch of cookies right now. Okay? So use that prefrontal cortex, decide ahead of time. Strategy number three for handling holiday parties like a pro is one plate and one dessert. So it’s a simple rule, but it works beautifully.

Just make one plate of food. Sit. Eat it slowly, enjoy the hell out of it. If you want dessert, just pick one thing and enjoy that one thing, and then you’re done. No grazing. No, going back four fourths, no mindless snacking because someone left a tray of brownies next to you. Um, uh, another thing I would say is don’t hang out by the desserts.

Don’t hang out in the kitchen where all the food is, or on the table. Uh, a lot of people like to just hang out and graze. Um, so just stay away from the food, but one plate and one dessert. Equals freedom Strategy number four. If you do drink alcohol, not a problem, but just be intentional about it. Alcohol isn’t evil, but alcohol plus no plan equals a mess.

You know, it’s just a disaster waiting to happen. So use the one for one rule, one alcoholic drink. And one glass of water. Set a limit before you walk in and stick to it. So if you decide you’re gonna have one glass of wine, and no, we’re not talking about one of those two liter glasses, okay? Just have one normal glass of wine and then be done, and then have a glass of water to go along with it.

Okay? But definitely set your intention. Ahead of time. We’re talking about the difference between being in intentional and acting with no purpose whatsoever. We’re talking about the difference between being mindless and mindful. We wanna be mindful about what we’re eating and how much we’re drinking.

And then strategy number five, leave when you need to leave. You don’t owe anyone. Anything. You don’t owe anyone your health especially. So if people are, are drinking too much or overeating or just pressuring you, you don’t have to stick around. You can just simply leave. You’re an adult. Uh, you can do the um, Irish goodbye where you just sneak outta there, ghost, you know, we call it whatever.

Um, just walk out the front door at any time. Um, I did this at a party recently. And my fiance and I were, were like, okay, ’cause we don’t drink and stuff. And there was a lot of people drinking and we were like, I think it’s time to go. And so we, we just quietly snuck out and somebody’s like, oh, I see you guys are doing the Irish goodbye.

And I’m like, oh yeah, definitely. Um, I’m not afraid to do that at all. And these people are still our friends. They don’t, they don’t care. Okay. Next section here is how to navigate family, food, pressure, and holiday triggers. Okay, this is a big one, right? Family. Let’s get into this part. Nobody can push your buttons like the people who installed them.

I wrote that and I thought it was very funny, so just don’t mind me. Common triggers for runners during the holidays can be things like people pushing food on you. Come on, it’s the holidays. Just have a little, live a little bit. Let your hair down. People treating your running or eating habits like they’re weird.

Hyper emotional food. Oh, but grandma made this just for you. Come on with the guilt trips, right? Old family dynamics that bring up stress. Being around people who don’t support your goals. Guilt, shame, obligation. People pleasing. Oh my gosh. Family. There’s nothing like family at the holidays. Right. Let’s reframe all this.

So here’s a few more strategies for you here. Um, strategy number one, food pressure is all about them. It’s not about you. So when someone says, why aren’t you eating that? Uh, why are you being so strict? Why don’t you just relax? That isn’t about you, it’s about them. They feel uncomfortable with their own choices.

Um, people want company in their indulgence when you say no, they feel judged even though you’re not judging them. So just remind yourself, this isn’t personal. This is about them, not about me. Strategy number two for handling the family. A simple phrase that solves 95% of food pressure. Um, just say No thank you.

I’m good. You don’t need to explain, you don’t need to justify, you don’t need to defend. Just say it with a smile and repeat as necessary. No, thank you. I’m good. Practice it. Seriously. Say it out loud. You’re gonna use this a lot. No, thank you. I’m good. No, thank you. I’m. Strategy number three, allow yourself to enjoy special food intentionally, just, just like alcohol, okay?

This isn’t about avoiding everything bad, this is about choosing on purpose and being intentional. So some examples here is I’m gonna have one slice of mom’s Christmas pie because I truly love it. Or I’m skipping the store-bought cookies because they don’t do anything for me. Or I’m gonna have a glass of wine with dinner, not five.

Again, we’re being intentional. An intentional indulgence is actually very empowering. It’s very different from mindless overeating, which is not empowering at all. You get to choose. So be intentional about these choices. And then strategy number four is to shake off guilt like it’s glitter. You’re not a failure.

If you eat something off plan, you’re human guilt is just a wasted emotion. It doesn’t help you make better decisions ever. You don’t need to punish yourself with extra miles. You don’t need to be super restrictive the next day. You don’t need to repent like you’ve committed. Of mortal sin, just make the decision, uh, the next decision, uh, something that you feel proud of.

Okay, so the next meal, the next, you know, decision you need to make, whether it’s to not have a drink or something like that. Make that one something that you feel proud of. Okay? So just shake off that guilt and be done with it. Okay? Next, how to stay consistent with your running during the holidays. So consistency is gonna be your superpower, uh, during the holidays, okay?

Not perfection, consistency. So let’s make this incredibly simple here. Strategy number one, schedule your runs, like your doctor’s appointments. Put them in the calendar, put them on the family calendar. Put them in your phone. When it’s scheduled, it happens when it’s vague, when it’s just some idea floating around in your head, it doesn’t happen.

Okay? So make it real. Put it in the calendar. Pretend like it’s a doctor’s appointment. You’re not gonna not go. Strategy number two. If you’re traveling, scout the routes in advance. Use Strava, all trails, MapMyRun, local running groups on Facebook, running stores in the area. Do this before you travel so you know where you’re going to run.

I do this all the time. I look up, you know, what’s a good route around here and I’ll go on, um, Strava or Garmin or all Trails or something like that, and I’ll see where people, uh, have run in that area. Map my run has a lot of those. That feature too. Um. So know where you’re going to run, pack what you need, gloves, lights, different layers.

Running shoes that aren’t 10 years old. Your fuel, your, your watch, and your charger, all that stuff. Um, ’cause when you remove the friction, running becomes easy. Just make it so that it’s like a, a no brainer. And then number three, let’s see. Short runs still count. Do not fall into, into the all or nothing trap.

Like a 20 minute run is still a run. A 30 minute run still builds fitness. A 10 minute run just keeps your habit going. Consistency beats, you know, the length of your run every single time. So just do what you can. Strategy number four, uh, for sticking to your runs, uh, and running consistently during the holidays is plan for the weather.

Uh, not, not some idea that you have about the weather should be right. Winter running takes preparation where layers bring gloves even when you think you won’t need them. Wear a hat or a buff. Use hand warmers if you need to. You’re not weak. If you hate the cold, you’re human. I hate the cold. I really do.

Um, cold weather running is uncomfortable at first, but after five or 10 minutes, you warm up, you’ll be fine. The hardest part is just getting out the door and getting started, honestly. And then strategy number five, use this time to build your aerobic engine. If you’re not in race training mode, that is perfectly fine.

This is base building season. So base building means low stress, low pressure. Your job here is to just keep your habit alive, keep your body moving, maintain your fitness, maintain your metabolic flexibility. Stay mentally grounded, you’re setting yourself up for uh, uh, a year of running success. Right.

You’re, you’re not going to make or break a whole lot during this kind of off season. So you don’t have to go all out. Um, you know you’re gonna be working towards something that is months ahead of you. Um, and so just take it easy, but enjoy the running, it’s low pressure, uh, and just keep your body moving and maintain that cardiovascular fitness during the holidays.

Okay, next. How to crush a holiday travel without losing your mind or your fitness. So travel’s one of the biggest disruptors that I, uh, experience with my coaching clients, not because of. Not just because the logistics are complicated, it’s because you’re changing environments, you’re changing habits. Um, so in, in, in this case, you really need a plan.

Um, and when you do, traveling becomes a non-issue. Okay? So strategy number one here control what you can control. You don’t have control over the food that’s being served or the schedule or the temperature, the flight delays. The in-laws, but you can control what time you wake up, how much water you drink, whether or not you get a quick run in, whether you walk after meals.

Um, you have control over how much alcohol you consume, how much you sleep, what you put on your plate, uh, your attitude. So focus on these things that you can control and it lowers stress instantly. Strategy number two for traveling. Pack your runner’s emergency kit. This is one of my favorite things here.

Just make sure you have all this stuff in your car, in your, in your luggage, whatever, electrolytes, protein, power, nuts, jerky, uh, one or two meals that you can rely on. Running shoes, running clothes, resistance bands, a water bottle, headlamp if you run in the dark. If you got the basics, you’re never gonna feel stuck.

You’re gonna have what you need. Next strategy. Build in movement every single day. No gym, don’t worry about it. Body weight workouts are great. No time, not a problem. 10 minute runs exist. Uh, if there’s snow on the roads, okay, you can walk or maybe find a treadmill. You’re never stuck. There’s always something you can do.

Movement keeps you grounded. Movement keeps cravings down, movement reduces stress and helps improve sleep. This one thing alone, if you can just build in movement every day will make your holiday season so much easier. Alright, dealing with stress, emotional eating, and just overall mental overload. So this is the part most runners ignore and it’s the reason most runners struggle to be honest with you.

When stress goes up, the primitive brain takes over and the primitive brain, that amygdala it wants comfort, pleasure, quick energy, safety, familiarity, and guess what? Checks all those boxes. Carbs, sugar, alcohol, skipping workout, saying, screw it. So we need tools, real tools. Strategy number one here for dealing with stress.

Emotional eating and mental overload. Build a daily emotional buffer. So an emotional buffer is something that keeps your stress level manageable. So some examples might be a morning routine or journaling, or meditation or walking. Intentional breathing, sitting in silence, listening to music, prayer, gratitude, practice reading, strength training, stretching.

Pick one of these things. Do it every single day. This is the foundation of staying sane during the holidays. Strategy Number two, use the pause and ask technique before eating. So before you grab something to eat, pause for three seconds and just ask yourself in your mind, why am I eating this? If the answer is I’m bored, I’m stressed, I’m anxious, I’m overwhelmed, I’m sad, I feel awkward.

Everyone else is eating. That is emotional eating. Okay? If the answer is, God, I’m, I’m very hungry, or This is part of my plan, or, I really want this and I’m choosing it intentionally, that is aligned. Eating right? No judgment, just awareness. So awareness creates control. So do the pause and ask, why am I eating this?

And then, um, if the answer is, you know, Hey, this is part of my plan, or I really want this, I’m being intentional, go for it. Strategy. Number three, stress and overeating don’t solve each other. This is the big lie that keeps a lot of people stuck. I’m stressed so food or alcohol is gonna help. Here’s the truth.

Food doesn’t reduce stress. Alcohol doesn’t reduce stress. Sugar doesn’t reduce stress. They numb you temporarily, and when the numbness wears off, the stress is still there. Plus now you feel physically worse mentally or disappointed and emotionally drained. So ask yourself instead, what do I actually need right now?

That food cannot give me. Rest, connection, breathing, movement, a conversation, maybe some boundaries, especially with family members, right? This is how you break emotional eating cycles by meeting your actual needs. Okay. All right. We’re into, we’re almost done here. Okay. I got a lot of stuff to cover here, so I hope you’re taking notes.

There’s a lot of good strategies here. So we’re getting into this section of how to enjoy the holidays without feeling like you totally went off the off the rails. So we wanna be able to enjoy ourselves, right? You’re allowed to enjoy the holidays and still kind of stay on track. This is not a season of restriction.

It’s a season of intention. So I wanna rewrite some holiday narratives. Okay. And some sort of myths that people have. So myth number one is that the holidays are a six week free for all. The reality is the holidays are a handful of special meals surrounded by thousands of regular moments where you can make great choices.

Okay? It’s a couple of days. We’re talking about like Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, new Year’s Eve, new Year’s, day, four days, something like that. Right. It’s not, uh, it’s not, uh, six whole weeks of just being crazy. Myth number two, if I eat something off plan, I blew it. The reality is one choice does not de derail you.

Only the story you tell yourself afterwards derails you. Myth number three. January 1st is when I’m gonna get serious again. Oh God. How many people do this? The reality is that most successful runners stay consistent year round. They don’t sprint January through March, and then crash November and uh, November and December.

Okay. And then myth number four, I can’t trust myself around holiday food. The reality is you can trust yourself if you have a plan and you honor your commitments that you make to yourself, which you now do. Okay? You’ve got a plan. So your simple doable holiday survival plan, I’m just gonna wrap everything up here into a.

Very clear, step-by-step plan that you can follow. So if you’ve been following along, um, and taking some notes, I’m gonna kind of recap everything right here. Uh, number one, set your identity. I’m a runner who stays consistent during the holidays. Number two, choose three to four non-negotiables. Some examples, I run four days a week.

I lift twice a week. I drink water, first one plate and one dessert rule. Seven hours of sleep. Choose three to four non-negotiables. Number three, plan each day, 24 hours in advance, food, alcohol, movement, and yes, even sleep, uh, strategy or, or step number four here, eat before parties, protein and veggies and healthy fats.

That way you’re not going in starving. Number five, navigate parties with intention. One plate. One dessert. One for one. Alcohol to water. Boom. Good to go. Number six, handle food pressure with calm confidence. Remember the phrase, no. Thank you. I’m good. Number seven, stay consistent with your running. Schedule it travel, proof it, modify it when needed.

Number eight, manage stress deliberately. Daily emotional buffer practice. What is that? Journaling A little music, a little, you know, quiet time. A little yoga. What does that look like for you? Number nine, use the pause and ask technique. Why am I eating this? Really be honest with yourself too. And then number 10, celebrate wins every single day.

Your brain needs that reinforcement. Progress piles up. So celebrate the little things, um, every single day. Okay. The holidays don’t have to be something you just survive. They can be something you enjoy, actually really enjoy while staying aligned with your health, your weight, your running, and your mental wellbeing.

This is the first year that you’re gonna walk into this season with intention and clarity and confidence, and a plan. Okay? So if you want help with. Implementing any of this stuff too. Just remember, you know, reach out to me. This is what I do every single day. Go to my website running lean coaching.com, click on work with me and we can get started right away.

All right? That’s all I got for you today. Love you all. Keep on running Lean and I will talk to you soon.

310. The Lies We Tell Ourselves About Losing Weight

December 5, 2025 By Patrick McGilvray

Today on the podcast, we’re digging into something that every runner deals with but almost no one talks about openly: “The Lies We Tell Ourselves About Losing Weight.” These thoughts are …

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Podcast Transcript

Hey there, and welcome to episode 310 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners. And today the lies we tell ourselves about losing. Weight. So today I am digging into something that every runner deals with, but almost no one talks about openly anyway, the lies we tell ourselves about losing weight.

These thoughts are subtle. They’re sneaky. They feel reasonable, and that’s exactly why they keep so many runners stuck. We tell ourselves little stories like, I run so much, I should be able to eat whatever I want, or I’ll start eating better after my race, or it’s just my hormones and we don’t even question these thoughts.

They become invisible barriers that quietly sabotage our progress. So in this episode, I’m gonna shine a big, bright light on the most common lies. Runners tell themselves about losing weight, why they feel so true, and how to shift into thoughts that actually support your goals. If you’re ready for a little honesty, clarity, and a massive mindset upgrade, this episode is especially for you.

But first, if you’re listening to this and thinking, wow, I’ve been dealing with these exact same things, Patrick, then I want you to know something. You do not have to keep trying to figure this all out on your own. Most runners are out there working hard, putting in the miles, pushing through the fatigue, but still feeling frustrated because they’re results.

Don’t match their effort, and it’s not because they’re not capable, it’s because they’re missing a clear plan, the right guidance, and the right kind of mindset that actually supports creating lasting change. That’s exactly what my coaching program is designed to do. I help you fix the stuff that’s been slowing you down for years.

The inconsistent eating, the lack of structure, the confusion about fueling the mental chatter that keeps you second guessing yourself. You’re gonna get a personalized approach for your running, strength, nutrition, and mindset. So they’re all working together to create real. Sustainable transformation. If you wanna feel lighter, stronger, more confident, and finally see all that hard work you’re doing payoff.

Go to running lean coaching.com, click on work with me. Let’s go. Okay, so the reason I wanted to talk about this today is because I had a coaching call recently where a client said something to the effect of, um, you know, Patrick, I’m trying so hard, but I just don’t think this is gonna work for me. Uh, I can’t lose weight because of my age.

And listen, she wasn’t whining, she wasn’t making excuses. This is something that this person honestly believed. And for her it felt very true. And that’s exactly how these little subtle lies work. ’cause they feel like facts. You know, saying something like, oh, I’ve reached this certain age, fill in the blank.

It could be 45, it could be 75. And then you could say, well I, I’ll never be able to lose any more weight because of this number. And that feels like a fact to you. And, and it feels kind of harmless ’cause it just feels like this is just the way it is, but it’s quietly undermining every single effort you’re trying to make.

So today I want to expose some of these, uh, the biggest, at least most common lies that runners tell themselves about losing weight. And I’m gonna show you kind of what you should be thinking instead. Okay. So. Lie number one. This is a fun one. It’s fun to say, and I hear runners say this all the time, but it is definitely a lie I run, so I should be able to eat whatever I want.

Have you ever told yourself that or heard anybody say that? Just about everybody I know who is a runner has said this at some point in their life. Um, runners love this one because it sounds very logical. You know, you’re out there running, you’re burning calories, you’re working hard, you’re sweating, so obviously you should be able to eat everything that you want, right?

Well, here’s the truth. Running is great for your heart. It’s great for your mind. It’s great for your endurance, but it is absolutely terrible as a standalone weight loss strategy. Running alone doesn’t undo overeating. It doesn’t undo poor food choices. It doesn’t magically bypass the laws of metabolism.

Food is fuel, yes, but it’s also data. And when the data coming in is chaotic and consistent or low quality, your body’s just gonna store that as excess fat. A more helpful, empowering thought is I fuel my running. I don’t justify. Overeating. Okay, so think about that. If you’ve ever told yourself, I should be able to eat whatever I want because I run, just remember that food is more than just fuel.

There’s also information stored in that food. Certain foods turn on hunger hormones and make you excessively hungry. Certain foods turn off, uh, leptin production, which makes you never really feel very full, so you tend to overeat. Um, so there’s more to it than just calories and calories out, or being able to eat whatever you want because you run a certain number of miles every week.

Okay? Don’t justify your overeating. Stop telling yourself this lie. Okay? I fuel my running. I don’t justify overeating. That’s a better, more empowering thought lie. Number two, it’s just my hormones. Okay? Now, hormones are real. There’s, there’s nothing, um, magical or mythological about hormones. They matter.

They affect your metabolism, your appetite, your energy, your recovery. All of it, but there’s a, a small little lie hidden inside this truth here. And that lie is that there’s nothing I can do about it. And that’s the dangerous part because as soon as you start believing that you’re powerless, that it’s this completely out of your control, you just stop trying.

You give up. You know, hormones can make weight loss more challenging. But you are never helpless. Alright? There are ways that you, uh, there are things that you can control. You can control what you eat, how much you eat, how consistently you eat certain foods, how much protein you eat, how much strength training you do, how well you are sleeping, how you are managing your stress, how you think and feel about yourself.

These are all things that you have control over. A better thought is, yeah, my hormones play a role, but my choices still matter. So that’s a much more empowered thought there. This puts you back in control. This puts you back in the driver’s seat. Hormones can be a factor. They are, um, a lot of times turned on or off by certain food choices that you make.

Like I just mentioned, you eat a bunch of sugar. You’re turning off your, uh, fullness hormone leptin, and you’re turning on and producing more ghrelin your hunger hormones. So you’re gonna be excessively hungry, the more sugar you’re eating, and then you don’t feel as full because you’re not producing as much leptin.

That’s a very good example of how hormones are affected by the foods that you eat. So they’re not just out there operating, you know, willy-nilly. They have, um. They are being controlled by, by different, uh, forces. You know, there’s forces on your hormones that are either turning some on or turning some off.

Okay. So your choices absolutely still matter. Um, and I’ve had, you know, people that I’ve worked with in the past who have really tried a lot of different things to try to lose weight. And then we’ve looked at getting a, a hormone panel done, you know, like a thyroid panel done, and they’ve realized that they need to be on some kind of hormone therapy because there’s.

Something that’s really amiss there. And that is something that can be a factor. So if you’re really thinking that this is a factor, get your hormones checked. But for the, for most of us, um, that’s really not gonna be, um, a, a factor. Okay. Section, uh, or line number three. Um, I’m gonna start after my race. So this one is pretty sneaky because runners love creating imaginary timelines.

Like, you know, after my next marathon or after that, that Turkey trot, you know, or the 10 k, uh, around the holidays or after the holidays are over, after this vacation, after the kids go back to school. It’s always after, after, after. But here’s what you’re really telling yourself right now is not the right time.

And let me just tell you the right time, never magically appears. It’s not your race. Um, if it’s not your race, it’s gonna be your schedule. If it’s not your schedule, it’s gonna be your stress level. It’s not your stress level. It’s gonna be something else. Waiting for conditions to be perfect is just a sneaky way of staying exactly where you are, because you never have to actually start anything if you just keep saying later, later, later.

So a better thought for this one is, you know, this is something that is important to me. This counts this, this matters to me. I can start making better choices right now because the truth is that when you keep delaying and delaying and delaying your procrastinating and procrastinating, you’re just pushing back.

Uh, your ability to change for the better. And the more you do that, the more you’re just gonna stay stuck right where you are. Um, delay is the killer of a lot of people’s, um, you know, progress in life. There’s a lot of things that people want, a lot of goals, a lot of hopes and dreams that people have, and they just keep pushing that delay button.

And they never start because you know what? When you, when you don’t have to start, you’re never gonna fail with anything. You don’t have to do anything hard. You don’t have to get uncomfortable. And I get it, but just remember that if you start something today, you know, think about where you’re gonna be three, six months from now, as opposed to you just keep delaying three or six months and you’re just gonna be exactly where you are right now.

So I’ll start after, you know, my race or fill in the blank is, is very, very subtle. Lie number four. I just need to run more. So this is the classic runner solution to every problem. If you’re struggling with weight, run more. If you’re stressed, run more. If you’re tired, run more. If you’re injured. Um. Well, maybe don’t run more, but I know some of y’all are going to try.

Um, but here’s the thing. More running can actually increase your hunger. More running, um, can actually lead to more eating because you’re a lot hungrier. You know, more eating can often lead to more weight gain. So not only is running more not solving this problem, sometimes it’s actually making it worse, a better thought instead of, I just need to run more.

It might be. You know, running improves my fitness, but nutrition creates weight loss. They work together, but they are not interchangeable. But I can’t tell you how many times, you know, runners, you know, just try to throw more miles at the problem. You know, this is all again, about this idea of calories in, calories out.

And if you just, you know, do more cardio, you’re gonna lose more weight. And that’s not necessarily true. I know so many people who run all the time, they’re doing cardio every single day, and they are still. 30, 40 pounds overweight and they can’t lose the weight, is the solution to run more? Probably not.

They can’t run anymore. They’re running seven days a week. You know, you just can’t add more, uh, to that, to that situation there. Now stress, I think, you know, a certain amount of running can help with stress. I think, you know, if you’re feeling less energetic, that a certain amount of running can help you feel.

More energetic, but there’s a law of diminishing returns, right? There’s a comes a point in time where. You know, you get to the point where you’re actually overdoing it and then you’re gonna be more stressed and you’re gonna be more tired and more exhausted and over training, and that’s gonna lead to more weight gain.

So running more is just really not the answer to everything, but it’s a great lie to tell yourself. It means you don’t have to change any of your eating habits. You can just keep eating whatever junk you want to, and as long as you just run more, you can justify that. Um, but I hear all the time about runners who are, you know, running all the time they’re in.

They seem to be in pretty good shape and they end up having some, you know, heart attack or something like that because of poor diet, because of other mitigating factors. Okay? So just running more is not gonna be the answer. Okay? So remember, running improves my fitness. Nutrition creates weight loss, so make the focus on nutrition, lie number five.

I’ve already tried everything. I’ve heard this one so many times from people, and you know what? You haven’t, you know, I love you all, but listen, you are absolutely, you have not absolutely tried every single thing out there, okay? What you’ve done is tried a lot of things for very short periods of time, without consistency, without coaching, without a solid plan, without a solid mindset strategy, supporting that plan.

And listen, that’s not. Failure. You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re normal. That’s just being a human, okay? But this lie of I’ve tried everything, convinces you that nothing will ever work for you. And when you believe that, you don’t have to show up anymore, you don’t have to do anything, you don’t have to change because nothing is ever going to work for you.

This is a terrible thought. Doesn’t it sound terrible the way I’m saying it? Just saying it out loud here. I wrote, you know, some notes here and, and you know, it looked fine on paper as I’m saying it out loud. I’m like, God, this sounds awful. A better thought would be there are strategies I haven’t mastered yet.

There are things I have not tried, but I’m capable of figuring this out. That, that is an empowered statement right there. I’ve tried everything. Nothing is ever gonna work for me, is giving your power away. You become powerless when you say that. Alright? But when you say, I am going to figure this out, there’s things I haven’t tried yet.

That is very empowering. That’s putting the power back on your plate. You are now in control because you are in control. You know, we just, again, you know, we don’t wanna have to try anything else. ’cause it’s, it’s, it can be frustrating sometimes and I get it. It is frustrating sometimes when you try something and it doesn’t work.

But guess what? The only way you can succeed is if you try. You may, it may or may not work you. You, um, analyze your results, you make necessary changes. Then you try something else and you repeat that process until you succeed. That’s the way every successful person in the world has ever accomplished anything big.

Right? You, you keep trying. Keep trying. Success is built upon a big old pile of failures, right? So you just gotta keep, keep trying and it’s frustrating, I get it. But this is the way the world works. Okay? So why do these lies matter? Here’s the, the takeaway I want you to, to really think about here for today, the thoughts that you repeat.

Determine the results that you get, the thoughts you keep repeating, determine the results that you get, not because of magic or manifestation or crystals or anything like that, but because your thinking drives your actions every single day, period. If your thoughts are disempowering, if your thoughts remove your responsibility.

If your thoughts make you feel stuck, hopeless, or defeated, then guess what? Your actions will reflect that. The actions that you take will be disempowering. They will, they will remove you, uh uh, your responsibility. They will make you feel stuck, hopeless, and defeated. But. When you choose thoughts that create agency that are empowering, that spark motivation, when you choose thoughts that build confidence, your whole experience changes.

You know, your actions will reflect that. Your actions will be empowered. They will have agency. They will, you know, spark motivation. They will create confidence in you. Weight loss doesn’t start with food. It starts, uh, with the story that you tell yourself. Weight loss doesn’t start with, you know, how many macros you should be eating or, or what kinds of foods you should be eating.

It starts with, you know, the stories that you tell yourself or the excuses that you’re making, or the story or the, um, uh, lies you keep telling yourself. Okay. If you’re listening to this right now and you’re thinking, yeah, this is exactly the kind of work I need to be doing, then I want to just invite you to join me inside my coaching program.

This is where we dig deep into your mindset, your habits, your fueling, your training, all of it, and we build a simple, sustainable, empowering plan that actually gets you to where you want to go. So if you want some expert guidance, some ongoing support, some accountability. To finally reach your weight loss and uh, your weight loss goals and feel amazing doing it, go to running lean coaching.com.

Click on work with me. Alright, my friends, that’s all I got for you today. Stop believing the lies. Okay? Start choosing thoughts that actually support the runner that you want to become. Love you all. Keep on running Lean. I’ll talk to you soon.

308. The Hidden Ways Runners Overeat (Without Realizing It)

November 21, 2025 By Patrick McGilvray

Today on the podcast, we’re talking about something that most runners think they understand but almost always get wrong. It’s the subtle, sneaky stuff we do around food that feels harmless… but …

Continue Reading about 308. The Hidden Ways Runners Overeat (Without Realizing It) →

Podcast Transcript

Hey there and welcome to episode 308 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners, and today the hidden ways runners overeat with even realizing it. So today I’m talking about something that most runners think they understand, but almost always get wrong. It’s the subtle, sneaky stuff we do around food that feels harmless, but consistently slows our progress, stalls our fat loss, and keeps us struggling more than we should.

So this episode is called The Hidden Ways Runners Overeat Without Realizing It. And once you hear these patterns, you’ll start seeing them everywhere. I’m gonna take a deep dive into mindless eating, healthy overeating, weakened creep training, hunger, emotional snacking, and most importantly. How to take back control if you’ve been running consistently, but not seeing the changes you expected.

If your eating feels mostly fine, but something still isn’t working, or if you’re tired of feeling like you take one step forward and one step back, this episode will give you the clarity that you’ve been missing. But first, if you’re listening to this and realizing, oh, wow, I’m doing a lot of this stuff, that’s actually a good thing.

Okay? Awareness is the first step, but awareness alone doesn’t create change, not the kind of deep lasting change that you want as a runner and as a healthy human being. Most runners are out there doing all the right things on paper. They’re logging miles, they’re eating what seems like the right foods.

They’re trying to stay motivated. But some, something still feels harder than it should runs. Feel heavier. Your progress feels slow. Sometimes your body doesn’t respond the way you expect it to, and it gets frustrating, you know? ’cause you’ve been putting in all this work. This is exactly why I created my coaching program.

You don’t need another meal plan, another training plan, or another. Try harder pep talk. You need a comprehensive, high touch system that helps you to get leaner. Get stronger and feel more energized and more confident without relying on willpower or guesswork. I will help you fix your nutrition, dial in your running, build the strength you’ve been missing, and develop the mindset that makes all of this feel sustainable and even fun.

So if you’re ready for that kind of transformation, just go to my website, running lean coaching.com, click on work with me. Let’s do this together. All right, let’s dive into this. So we’re talking about the hidden ways runners overeat without even realizing it, and this is one of those topics that. Once you see it, you’re not gonna be able to unsee it.

Okay? You’re gonna start noticing all these little patterns in your life. The mindless munching, the I earn this meals, the weekend splurges, the emotional snacking after a stressful day, and then suddenly all these things are gonna start to make sense to you. A lot of runners come to me thinking that they have a running problem or a metabolism problem, or an age problem when what they actually have is an unintentional overeating problem.

They’re not binge eating. They’re not out of control eating, you know, they don’t sit down and eat a gallon of ice cream. I’m talking about subtle, quiet, sneaky overeating. That feels kind of normal because it’s so common. And for runners, especially runners trying to lose weight, um, getting leaner or getting stronger, this stuff really matters.

Okay, so today I’m gonna break down the five biggest hidden overeating traps that runners fall into why these habits feel harmless, but actually stall your fat loss and just completely wreck your consistency. And then what you can do right now to regain control without counting calories, starving yourself, or giving up running fuel.

So if you’ve ever felt like you eat pretty healthy, but you can’t lose weight, or you’re running a ton, but the scale isn’t budging, or you do awesome all week only to sabotage yourself on the weekend, this episode is for you. So why overeating is so sneaky for runners? So most runners think I run a lot. I burn a ton of calories.

I can’t be overeating. Overeating can’t really be my issue. And listen, I get it. I used to say the same things. I used to think there was absolutely no way I was eating too much. But here’s the truth. Runners tend to overeat because they run not in spite of. Running makes you feel hungrier. Running gives you the, uh, I deserve this mentality.

Right? It gives you the, the excuses to snack and pretty much eat anything in front of you and it convinces you that you’re being healthy even when you might not be. And because overeating is subtle, it goes unnoticed. Most overeating is not big binges or giant drive, drive-through orders or, you know, for extra slices of pizza.

Most overeating looks like just a little extra handful here and there. Grabbing a snack without really thinking about it. Finishing the kids’ leftovers, pouring a second bowl of whatever eating while standing in the kitchen. I used to do that a lot. Eating at the wrong times. It’s death by a thousand tiny bites.

Okay? And those tiny bites they add up, right? So let’s get into some of the hidden overeating traps that runners fall into, starting with the most common trap of all, which is mindless eating. This is the silent saboteur. So mindless eating is kind of the sneakiest form of overeating because it doesn’t really feel like you’re overeating.

It feels like. Nothing really feels like something happening in the background while you’re focused on something else. So this could be snacking while you’re cooking or you know, snacking while you’re watching TV or scrolling or while you’re at work or in the car snacking, just because something is there.

Mindless eating is eating that’s disconnected from physical hunger. It’s not driven by need. It’s driven by habit and environment, and it’s you operating on autopilot. Okay? It’s why we call it mindless, because your mind isn’t really involved here. Okay? Here’s how runners get hit. Hard with this though.

You come home from a run, you’re a little depleted. You’re sweaty, you’re tired. You walk into the kitchen, and then something goes into your mouth. You know, not because you consciously chose it, because you walked. Buy it. You know, and this does stuff, doesn’t really get logged in your brain as eating.

Doesn’t even really register. But if you’re grabbing a couple handfuls before dinner every night, that could easily be three to 500 calories that you didn’t even notice. Okay? So why mindless eating happens? Your brain wants to conserve energy and making decisions around food takes mental effort. Your brain hates mental effort.

Okay? So it just automates things like tying your shoe or driving a car. You do these things automatically. You don’t have to think about all the steps involved with driving your car. You just get in your car and you drive now. Okay? Could you imagine having to go through all the steps when you first learned how to drive?

Remember how hard that was and how tedious it was and how long it took. Um, if you had to do that every single time, your brain would just go into overload. It’d be too much information, right? So your brain automates a lot of stuff, and for a lot of us, we’ve automated eating, okay? And automated eating rarely leads to good outcomes.

Okay? So how we stop this, the solution to stopping the automatic eating is. Is simple. It’s not easy, but it is simple. Okay? And this is just creating intentional eating moments. Like sit down when you eat, put your food on a plate, stop eating while you’re standing up. Stop eating straight out of a bag or whatever.

Don’t just grab a bite here or there. If you wanna make one rule from this episode, make it this one. If it’s worth eating, it’s worth paying attention to. So mindless eating is the opposite of paying attention. Mindless eating is the opposite of mindful eating. Okay? We wanna be mindful about how we eat and the kinds of foods we eat, how often we eat, all that stuff.

Okay? Another trap that runners fall into. Is healthy overeating. This is when good food can become a problem, and this one hits a lot of people hard, especially runners because runners love eating healthy food for the most part, right? We’re proud of healthy eating. We’re obsessed with whole foods, real foods, natural foods, and that is awesome.

But there’s a big trap here and it’s kind of subtle because food is healthy, but it doesn’t mean it’s going to help you to lose weight. Healthy overeating is just eating too much. Um, good food. Convincing yourself that it really doesn’t matter because it’s good food. Okay. You know, I hear all the time. Is, I don’t know why I can’t lose weight.

I, I only eat healthy or I don’t eat junk food, so calories don’t really matter as much. Uh, it’s all healthy stuff, you know, so it must be okay, you know, I track all my macros or it’s only nuts or fruit or yogurt or, or hummus or whatever. Okay. This is all great, but you, you can really overeat anything.

Okay. And I’ve talked before on this podcast about calories and how at some point, you know, calories matter. Like I don’t think it’s the place where you want to start with, uh uh, your weight loss journey. I think what I’m talking about today is. Gonna be the solution for a lot of people when it comes to, uh, eating too much.

Okay. So just keep listening. Okay. And we’re not really talking about counting calories and all that. I, I think that’s very tedious and it’s not really necessary. Somehow, as human beings, we’ve, we’ve been able to live very healthly for, you know, two and a half million years or so without. Counting calories.

Why all of a sudden do we have to log all our food into MyFitnessPal now? Right. Um, maybe if we just be more mindful about our food, we won’t have to, you know, count our calories and, and put all our food into an app. Okay. That was a little sidebar, so thank you for indulging me. Okay. You can really overeat anything.

Um, there’s a lot of healthy foods out there that you can actually overeat. Things like nuts. Nuts are super calorie dense, nut butters, even more so super calorie dense. You can really overeat that stuff easily. Um, I love a good, like, you know, good fresh apple with some almond butter, but I gotta be careful about how much that almond butter I put on that thing, or I, I use it like as a little dipping.

Uh, type of sauce, whatever you wanna call it, but I gotta be careful because that stuff adds up pretty quickly. Stuff like granola, um, some fruit smoothies, um, healthy trail mixes, avocado, hummus, Greek yogurt, protein bars, oatmeal. All these things are pretty good, you know, in and of themselves. There’s nothing wrong with some of this stuff.

We need some good carbs, you know, we need some, some good fats. We need some, some good protein, but at the same time. They can be a problem and the problem is just in the quantity. Okay. So healthy food is still, it’s still good food, it’s still healthy. Healthy calories are still calories And healthy overeating, uh, is still overeating.

Okay. So there’s just some issues with the overeating thing that we have to be mindful of, even if it is healthy food. So it’s very easy to overeat healthy food, and a lot of people do this and they’re not even aware of it. Okay. And a lot of this sounds good. It’s like, Hey, I’m, I’m, I, I’m eating healthy food, so it’s just fine.

Or it’s better than junk food, so I don’t really have to worry about it. And this is where you’re doing something called permission-based overeating. It feels harmless, it feels justified, it feels like you’re being responsible, but it keeps runners overweight all the time. And the solution here is just.

Nothing crazy, just you don’t need to count calories or weigh your food or anything like that. But just, you know, would I still eat this if it wasn’t healthy? Ask yourself this question. Would I still eat this if it wasn’t healthy? And if the answer is no, then you might be emotionally overeating healthy food.

Okay? So just be careful with that one. The next trap that a lot of runners fall into. This is number three, is the weekend creep. This is the two day undo button, and this one gets so many people. I can’t tell you how many people tell me they do great during the weekend. On the weekend, everything just sort of falls apart.

So weekend overeating is so common that people don’t even recognize it as overeating. They think it’s normal. Um, you know, you’re doing great Monday through Friday structured. Uh, you got a good routine going. Everything is predictable. Then Friday night hits and you. You just wanna relax and give yourself a break and treat yourself.

Uh, so that’s Friday. And then Saturday becomes just all day food free for all. You know, Sunday is starting with brunch and, and alcohol and bloody Mary’s and pizza, watching football and snacks and beers and the game. And by Sunday night you’re like, I don’t even know what happened. Um, but I gotta start all over again tomorrow, you know?

Well, I’ll tell you what happened. You just didn’t undid your entire week basically. Okay? Most overeating doesn’t happen during the week. This is the time when people are structured. They have a lot of parameters. They’re working around. They have work and kids and, and a lot of structure. But on the weekends, structure disappears.

Um, here’s just some math on some calories here I’ll give you, um, this might blow your mind a little bit here. Let’s say you overeat by just 400 calories on Friday. Um, 800 on Saturday and 600 on Sunday. That doesn’t seem like a a lot, but that’s 1800 calories. This is almost a full additional day of eating for a lot of people.

And if you’re doing this every weekend, every week, month after month, after month, um, it doesn’t matter how much you’re running, you’re just gonna stay stuck. Okay. And a lot of runners fall into this weekend creep because the, the weekends feel like a reward. You know, you think I earned this? I had a big long run today.

I’ve been good all week. It’s just this one meal. But you know what? Be honest with yourself. It’s never just one meal. It’s a pattern. Okay. And to fix the weekend creep. Um, you just have to be more intentional about everything that you’re doing. And I, I teach my clients some rules to live by, which is if you’re gonna have some indulgence, especially on the weekend, plan it in advance.

It’s fine if you want to go out and have a beer and a piece of pizza or something, just make a plan with that. Be intentional about what you’re doing. Don’t eat to numb yourself or, or, um. Uh, because you’re bored or you’re tired, uh, we don’t wanna use food as a, as emotional management tool. Okay. And then just stop eating when you feel satisfied, not when you feel uncomfortable or stuffed.

Right? That means you, you’ve just eaten too much. Okay? So take back your weekends, and I promise you this is, this is huge for so many people. You’re gonna really take back your progress too. You’re gonna stop being stuck. Okay? The fourth trap that a lot of runners fall into is training hunger. And is this real or is this fake?

Um, so runners swear that they are just hungrier than normal people. And yes, sometimes this is true. Training does increase hunger, but not most of the time. Okay. Training hunger is not real. Physical hunger. Most training hunger is related to things like dehydration, under fueling the day before or over fueling during a run.

Uh, your brain rewarding you for exercise. You get all those feel good hormones going, um, habit driven, snacking, emotional relief after a hard workout, stress hormones, post run, dopamine seeking, like you’ve, you’ve just depleted your body of everything and so you just want some, something to bring you back up, and so you reach for.

Food to do that for you. Um, or the belief that you burn more calories than you actually did. Okay? So training hunger feels real because your brain is, is very convincing to you. But if you’re one of these people that gains weight while you run, and I know so many people, uh, tell me every day that this is a, a problem with them, or if you’re stuck at the same weight year after year, you’re just likely eating far more than the run actually requires.

Yes, sometimes we get a little bit more hungry, uh, because we’re, our training has increased, but it’s rarely that much. Okay. And I can remember training for ultra marathons and eating everything in sight and really probably overeating quite a bit. I remember training for, um. Uh, a couple of ultra marathons and I, I gained, within about two years, I gained like 40 pounds.

I, that’s crazy, you know, but I was like, well, I’m training. I’m, I’m hungrier than normal, but. Honestly, 40 pounds. That’s a, that’s nuts. Okay. But this training hunger idea kind of tricks runners, because a lot of runners overestimate, you know, how much energy they’re really using, how many calories they’re burning.

They underestimate how much they’re actually eating. They think that refueling, uh, in a big way is mandatory. Uh, they’re eating to recover, not because they’re hungry. Uh, they eat because other runners tell them they get to eat whatever they want. Uh, they eat because they’re afraid of losing performance.

Um, so you finish a run, you’re sweaty. You, you worked really hard. Your brain is like, feed me all the carbs right now. Guess what? You might not really need food yet. What you might need is water and electrolytes. So start with that. Okay? Do that first. Cool. Off. Let your body, you know, get back to baseline.

Okay? And then you can ask yourself like, does something like salmon and broccoli feel good right now? Or whatever, food. If you don’t like that stuff, don’t, don’t use that as an example, but what kind of food feels good to you? Not junk food, not a bunch of carbs, not donuts, you know? Um, but if, if chicken and rice sounds good to you, or salmon and broccoli, or something like that, if the answer is yes, then you’re, you’re physically hungry.

If the answer is no. Then you’re probably more like dopamine hungry. Okay? Training hunger will fade fast, okay? Dopamine hunger will grow quickly, right? So just keep that in mind. Alright. Another trap number five that runners, uh, find themselves falling into is emotional snacking. This is using food to feel better.

So this is maybe the most important section of this episode ’cause emotional eating. Is very, very prevalent. Okay? It’s not a, it’s not a character flaw, it’s not a weakness. It doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person or anything like that. It just means that your brain is, you know, trying to solve an emotional problem with food.

And runners are extremely vulnerable to emotional snacking. Why? Because runners are using running most of the time to manage stress. But running does not fix emotional patterns. All it does is mask them. Okay? When life gets stressful and chaotic and overwhelming or even painful food becomes the backup coping mechanism.

Um, and there are some common emotional eating patterns that a lot of runners fall into here, which is stress, snacking after work, eating out of boredom, eating because of loneliness, or because you’re overwhelmed or you might feel. Like you’re falling behind in your training. You’re eating because you’re not seeing the progress that you want or because you’re tired or because you feel like you blew it today.

Emotional eating is almost always overeating, and it’s almost always hidden. Okay. People don’t say. I’m upset, therefore, I shall eat 12 ounces of almonds. You know, it’s, it’s more subtle. It’s like a bite here, a bite there. A handful of this, a nibble of this, you know, if you just keep finding yourself going to the pantry or going to the refrigerator and just snacking on stuff and always wanting something.

This is probably emotional eating okay? And emotional eating, um, almost always goes past the point of satiety. Okay, so how do we stop this emotional snacking? Just recognize that you might be doing it. Okay? That’s the first step, right? Just understand that, you know, oh, I want to eat something right now, but what am I feeling like?

Name the emotion. If it’s something like stress or boredom, just name that and then just let it be there for a couple minutes. You know, like maybe 90 seconds. Uh, emotions have short half lives, okay? You just allow it to be there. Usually within 90 seconds it’ll go away. Um, then decide if food would actually solve the problem for you.

And you know what? It really never does. So if you’re stressed or bored, find something else to do. Another way of, of relieving that stress or boredom. And then choose a non-food solution. Take a walk, do some journaling, take a shower, stretch, talk to someone. Rest. Deal with the emotion directly. Okay? You don’t need to use food to deal with your emotions, okay?

This is how you break emotional eating forever. Okay? So name the emotion, feel it for a few minutes, decide if food’s actually gonna solve the problem, probably not. And then choose a non-food solution. So how do you regain control around food? So if, if you’re recognizing yourself in any of these traps, in any of these patterns, this is actually a good thing.

It means you’re becoming aware and awareness is really the first step to change. So lemme give you a, a strategy that I help my clients, uh, to help them regain control around food. So number one is just slow down. Like, slow down your eating, slowing down creates awareness. Awareness creates control. Put your fork down between bites.

Take 20 minutes to eat. Chew more. Breathe between bites. It’s very hard to overeat when you eat slowly. Okay. Overeating almost always requires fast eating. Okay, so number one, slow down. Number two, stop eating when you’re satisfied, not when you’re full. This one is huge. Most runners have no idea what satisfied feels like.

Right? You only know hungry and stuffed. This is so much me. Um, satisfied is in the middle somewhere. It’s kind of subtle. It’s kind of quiet, but it feels kind of calm, right? So practice ending meals with the feeling of, you know, I could eat more, but I don’t need to. This single habit right here, this is gonna change everything for you.

Um, think about it like this. Like I, I talk to my strength clients about doing, um. When they’re doing their weight training to lift heavy, but still leave a couple reps in the tank. Okay, so you could do 12, but you’re gonna stop at 10. Same thing with food. You could eat more, but you’re gonna stop when you feel satisfied, not when you’re stuffed.

Okay? So just think about that. Number three, create eating windows. So this isn’t like strict fasting, this is just creating a little structure around food. So when you have eating windows, you kind of reduce the mindless snacking. So for example, you could say, I don’t eat breakfast until 10:00 AM. I eat lunch at two, and then I eat dinner at snack at six o’clock.

And there’s no snacking at those times or between those times unless you’re really dealing with some physical hunger. Okay. Most of the time, if you’re eating two or three times a day, that is plenty of food. You don’t need to eat snacks all during the day, but I get it sometimes, you know, you do experience some hunger and you do need to eat something, which is perfectly fine.

But creating these little windows around, around food just helps to bring some predictability and some structure around your day. Uh, number four, mentioned this earlier plan. Your indulgences, indulgences are fine. Exceptions to your plan are fine. Um, just do them with intention. Okay? Surprise, indulgences.

Those are the problems. You know, enjoy a dessert or a drink or a pizza or something like that, but just plan it ahead of time. When you plan your indulgences to magical things happen. Number one, you don’t eat ’em as often. You eat less, uh, of them. You don’t do it as often. And then number two, you enjoy it more because they’re intentional.

You don’t feel guilty. You’re like, I made a plan and I’m sticking to my plan. You know, my plan was to eat dessert at this nice restaurant we went to, and I did that and I feel good about it. That’s a big difference between that. And I promised myself I was gonna be good and I really blew it. Like, don’t, don’t do that to yourself, okay?

Be intentional. Um, number five, honor your physical hunger cues. Learn what real hunger feels like. This is like your stomach growling, that feeling of like hollowness in your belly, low energy. Um, uh, it’s not urgent. It’s not emotional. Um, if hunger feels emotional, desperate, or urgent or impulsive, that’s what we call dopamine hunger.

And you know, that’s, you don’t really need food. You’re just looking for a fix. You know, you’re looking for that feel good fix. Okay. So understand though that sometimes we are physically hungry and that’s okay. You know? And if you’re physically hungry and your stomach is growling and you’re like, God, I really, you know, I’m really hungry, but I’m not going to eat for another two hours.

Maybe see if you can go for a couple hours without food and just get used to feeling hungry sometimes. ’cause that’s not a big deal. Hunger is not an emergency. Uh, let’s see. Number six is to keep run fuel to what you actually need. So this is a big one. A lot of runners tend to over fuel, so they, they just are just eating all the food all the time.

You know, I, I have this one friend in our running group, little tiny woman. She was really cool, loved her. Um, but she said that before running, she would eat like this giant stack of pancakes. And we were talking about this at breakfast after our run where she was eating more bre, more pancakes and stuff, you know, and she said, oh yeah, before all my runs I have to eat this big stack of pancakes.

And I’m like, woo, that’s a lot of food for, for a couple hours of running or whatever. But you know, it’s okay to fuel before you run. I usually tell people, listen, if you’re running for under 90 minutes, you probably don’t really need to fuel much. Anything over that. We’re gonna use some simple, minimal fuel.

Um, we’re, we’re fueling for performance, not just for entertainment. Okay? And a big stack of pancakes before you run that might be more entertainment. I don’t know. Um, let’s see, number seven. Uh, the last one of, uh, these ideas of gaining control around food, again, is to build an identity of a runner who eats like an athlete.

Okay? So often runners will see themselves as, uh, someone who just, uh, runs so they can eat right. Athletes on the other hand, see themselves as I eat in a way. That supports my body and my my goals. You know, identity drives behavior. If you shift the identity, the identity of an athlete, then the behavior follows.

Okay? You train like an athlete, eat like an athlete. Okay. Very, very important one right there. Okay, a few final thoughts here. Overeating is rarely obvious. It’s rarely dramatic. It rarely looks like overeating, but those little things, they matter. The unconscious eating matters, the emotional eating matters.

The weakened creep. Matters. The I Earn this meal matters. The healthy overeating matters, and none of this makes you bad or weak or broken. It just means you’re operating without awareness. So when you slow down, when you start to pay attention, when you eat more intentionally. When you learn to feel your feelings and emotions instead of numbing yourself to them, when you train your brain to tolerate discomfort instead of reaching for food, every time you feel a little uneasy or a little discomfort, everything can change for you.

This is when you start to lose weight. You get leaner, you get stronger, you run faster, you recover better. You feel more in control around food, and maybe for the first time ever. This is what I want for you. Okay? And if you want help with any of this, if you want help implementing this, if you want the coaching, the accountability, the structure, the support, and the real strategies that are gonna help you, uh, solve this problem.

Uh, we’re not talking about dieting or gimmicks, gimmicks, or shortcuts. I, I would love to help you with this, okay? Just go to my website, running lean coaching.com, click on work with me. Alright, that’s all I got for you today. Love you all. Keep on running lean and I will talk to you soon.

306. Understanding and Identifying Self-Sabotage

November 7, 2025 By Patrick McGilvray

In this week’s episode of the Running Lean Podcast, I’m diving deep into a topic that affects every single one of us—Understanding and Identifying Self-Sabotage. If you’ve ever made progress toward …

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Podcast Transcript

Hey there, and welcome to episode 306 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners, and today understanding and identifying self sabotage. So today I am gonna be diving deep into a topic that affects every single one of us understanding and identifying when we self-sabotage.

If you’ve ever made progress toward your running or weight loss goals only to find yourself slipping back into old habits and behaviors, this episode is going to hit home for you. You’re gonna learn what self-sabotage. Actually is and what it isn’t. How to recognize when you’re doing it and the surprising reasons why we all do it.

Most importantly, I’ll show you how to start breaking the cycle so you can finally build real. Lasting consistency. This is not about guilt or shame, it’s about awareness and growth. Because once you see how you’ve been getting in your own way, you’ll have the power to stop doing it and to start creating the results that you’ve actually been working for.

But first, listen, I know how frustrating it feels when you’re doing all the right things. You’re running, you’re eating healthy, you’re putting in the work, but something still feels off. You’re tired of feeling like progress takes too long, that you can’t stay consistent, or that maybe your body isn’t responding the way that it should.

Here is the truth. You don’t need another quick fix. You don’t need another cookie cutter training plan. You need a comprehensive approach that helps you to build strength, improve your endurance, and burn fat without burning out. That’s exactly what we do inside my coaching program. I’ll help you develop a nutrition strategy that actually supports your running.

Uh, I’ll help you to build a body that feels strong and resilient, and I’ll help you to master the mindset that keeps you consistent long term. How about no more self-sabotage? Listen, you don’t have to keep doing this alone. The next step is simple. Go to my website running lean coaching.com, click on work with me.

Let’s get you feeling light, feeling strong, feeling confident, again from the inside. Out. Okay, so let’s talk about self-sabotage. Yay. What it is, what it isn’t. How to know when you’re doing it, why we do it, and the sneaky ways it shows up in our lives as runners and just as human beings. This op, I’m hoping that this episode is going to hit home for a lot of you because.

That’s my intention here. That would be a good thing. You can’t change something if you don’t know that you’re doing it. Okay? You have to acknowledge it in order to change it, and so today is all about recognizing, identifying, and acknowledging what’s really going on. So the first thing I wanna do is kind of talk about what self-sabotage is and what it isn’t.

And I wanna start with a, a definition. So self-sabotage is when your thoughts, emotions, or behaviors are working against your goals. Okay? It’s when you say you want to do one thing, like, you know, I wanna lose weight, or I wanna be able to run faster. You know, I wanna feel confident in my body. But what you’re doing, your actions tell a completely different story.

It’s that internal conflict between what you say that you want and then what you’re actually doing, you know, every day. The crazy thing is most of the time. We don’t even realize when we’re doing it, and we all do this. I wanna make that very clear right now. This is not something just for, it’s not just something that weak people do or something that unaware people do.

Like everybody at some point has engaged in some sort of self-sabotage, okay? And a lot of times we don’t even realize we’re doing it. You might just think that you’re tired or you’re stressed or you’re busy, but underneath that, there’s deeper things happening. Okay? So self-sabotage is not laziness, it’s not weakness.

It’s not because you’re broken. It’s not because you’re undisciplined. It’s actually your brain. Trying to protect you. So your brain is wired for safety and for comfort. Your brain wants predictability. It wants safety at wants the familiar. So when you start to change things, when you start a new food plan or a new strength program, you know, you start pushing yourself a little bit.

You start doing hard things that that feel a little uncomfortable and unfamiliar, your brain starts to freak out a little bit. It’s like saying, whoa, wait a minute. This is unfamiliar territory. This feels uncomfortable. Let’s go back to what we know. So it throws up all kinds of thoughts and emotions and behaviors that subtly pull you back to your old ways.

Not because your brain hates you, but because your brain is always trying to protect you from pain, from discomfort, from risk, from change. Your brain does not like things that are different. It likes the familiar. So that’s what self-sabotage is. It’s your subconscious mind saying, let’s just stay safe. Um, even when safe means staying stuck where you are, you know, if you’re trying to lose weight and you start eating differently, that’s gonna feel uncomfortable.

To your brain that’s gonna feel unfamiliar to your brain. What? Vegetables? Like what? I’ve, I’m not used to eating vegetables. Like, what is this all about? And so your brain is gonna be like, no, that, that feels like danger to us. We gotta get outta here. You know, we can’t eat broccoli. Okay. So a lot of times we don’t even know that this is happening.

So let’s talk a little bit about, um, how you can start identifying when you are self-sabotaging. Okay. Because sometimes, sometimes it’s kind of obvious. Okay. Like if you’ve been eating great all week and then you, you binge eat like all the leftover Halloween candy all at once, that might be of. Pretty clear and pretty obvious way of self-sabotaging yourself.

Okay. But it’s usually not that. It’s often a lot more subtle and kind of sneaky. Okay. So here are some signs that you might be self-sabotaging. Okay? If every Monday you’re telling yourself, oh, I’m just gonna start over on Monday, and then the next Monday comes around and you have to start over again.

’cause maybe you, you do pretty well, like, you know, Monday through Thursday and then like Friday, Saturday and Sunday, everything kind of goes to crap. You know, that could be a sign that you’re self-sabotaging. You know, because the weekends are typically when you’re used to living it up a little bit and drinking more and eating whatever, and you’re starting to slide back into those old behaviors, those old weekend behaviors that feel comfortable and safe, you know?

Um, and if every Monday you’re starting over, that could be a sign that you’re self-sabotaging. Um, if you find yourself giving up or quitting, as soon as things start to go, well, this could be a sign of self-sabotage. And what this looks like for a lot of people. For example, let’s say you’re trying to lose weight and you lose like five or eight pounds, so things are starting to go well, and then you kind of give up on yourself.

You know, because what you’re doing is working, but it feels unfamiliar, it feels uncomfortable. And especially at the beginning of any sort of change, it’s going to feel weird and uncomfortable. It’s not what you’re used to. You’re gonna be doing different things, you’re engaging in new behaviors. Um, but if you find yourself, you know, as soon as things start to go well, you, you give up.

You quit on yourself. That’s self-sabotage. Okay. If you tell yourself, you know, I just need to take a short break here. You know, I need to just stop running for a few weeks. You know, I’m kind of feeling tired, or, you know, I just need to give myself a chance to eat whatever I want because I’m just feeling too deprived.

You know, I’m not, you know, I, I. I’m, I’m eating pretty clean, but I need to give myself a, a chance to eat some donuts or cookies or some ice cream or some pizza, and that little short break turns into weeks or maybe months. That could be self-sabotage right there. Okay. Even just telling yourself I need to take a break from eating healthy could be a sign of self-sabotage.

Okay. Another sort of subtle way that we, we can self-sabotage is setting unrealistic goals for ourselves, knowing deep down that you’re not gonna follow through with all that. Um, I remember. Um, some time, a long time ago, um, talking to somebody who had all these massive goals. You know, this person wanted to lose a hundred pounds and, um, uh, run an ultra marathon and, uh, you know, get super strong and had all these huge.

Goals? Well, they had never really run before, ever. Um, they had been pretty large their whole life and hadn’t ever really been able to lose the weight, you know, um, never really been to a gym before. So setting all these huge unrealistic goals made it so that they could just say, you know, that’s just too hard.

I’m never gonna be able to do that stuff. And then they didn’t have to follow through with it, you know, so that’s a sign that you might be. Self-sabotaging, just setting goals that are just unrealistic, um, and, and unreachable really. Another way that we subtly self-sabotage is constantly comparing ourselves to others and deciding that you’re never gonna measure up.

You know, and I, I’ve done this in the past where I said, you know, other people can do hard things. Other people can run marathons. That’s just tsunami. I’m never gonna be able to do that. It’s too hard. And I remember after I did run a few marathons, I remember, um, you know, that part sort of went away. But then I had some friends that were doing.

Triathlons and Iron Man, and I thought, oh, I could never do something like that, you know? And I, and I kind of made a decision that I’m, I would never be able to do that. And that lasted for a while until, you know, I, I, I had to change that thinking and I had to stop comparing myself to other people, you know?

And instead I said, okay, well, what do I want for myself? And I set out to start doing some triathlons, and then eventually did an Iron Man. And, and I proved myself wrong. You know, I was trying to stay safe and comfortable by not having to do something hard, you know, so the way I did that was compare myself to others and say, they’re better.

They can do these things. I can’t do these things. Um, and so I’d never, you know, if I had chosen that path, I never would’ve had to do those things that were hard. Okay. Or lastly, finding excuses for why you can’t do something instead of finding ways of making it work. You know, if you keep telling yourself, I can’t do this, and, and you, you can probably list all the reasons why you can’t do something.

Shift that thinking. Like, instead, find ways to make it work for you. Like list all the reasons why you can do it. List all the different ways that you could. Work to make that thing happen for you. Okay, so these are just sneaky, subtle signs that you might be self-sabotaging and you don’t even really realize it.

You know, you might be procrastinating. You might be saying things like, you know, I’m gonna start after this vacation, or I’ll get serious when work slows down. Or, you know, I just need to be motivated. I do better when I’m motivated and I’m just not motivated right now. Here’s the truth though. You don’t need more motivation.

You need more awareness when you can recognize that these patterns are self-sabotaging patterns. They’re not like. You know, bad circumstances or lack of discipline, you know, or, or you know, fate that you can finally start to change them. Once you recognize that these are just things that your brain is doing to try to keep you safe, you can start working on changing these things.

Now, a lot of people talk about, well, why? Why do we do this? Why do we self-sabotage? What’s at the root of this thing? Because if you understand why you do it, you can really stop judging yourself for it and just start making some changes here. Okay, so there’s a few core reasons, um, why people self-sabotage.

You know, I already talked about our brain sort of wanting to stay safe, and that’s a big part of this, but even underneath that, there’s a few things that. Are really the cause of a lot of our self-sabotage. And there’s like four things I’ll talk about. There’s more, but these are four big ones. Number one is a fear of failure, so this is a big one.

You might think, you know, if I really try and I fail. That’ll, that’ll just prove to myself that I’m not good enough and it’ll prove to the rest of the world that I’m not good enough. So I’d rather just not try, not even start that way. I won’t fail. So you, you subconsciously are. Pre-filing, you’re creating failure ahead of time.

You’re doing it to yourself and you’re controlling your outcome, right? You, you don’t have to fail you, you’re not gonna succeed at anything, but also you’re not failing. So for you, it’s gonna be safer to fail on these terms than to risk, you know, trying something new and hard and giving it your all and then, and falling short.

Okay, so fear of failure is a. Big one. A lot of people will not even start things because they’re afraid that they might not be able to do it. Guess what? There’s no such thing as, uh, success without failure. Like you have to fail your way to succeed in just about everything that you do. Number two, uh, and this is kind of related, but sort of the opposite is the fear of success.

So, believe it or not, for a lot of people’s success can be just as scary. So. What do you do? You know, what if you do lose the weight? You know what if you do get faster? What if you do change your life, but you can’t keep it up? Then what? So a certain level of success brings a whole new set of like pressures and expectations and responsibility, you know, and this can feel very terrifying.

So you sabotage yourself. To just stay in the familiar struggle instead of stepping out into the unknown. So, you know, fear of succeeding can be just as scary. It can be frightening to a lot of people because once you get there, how do you maintain that? What if you can’t maintain it? Um, another big one is the fear of change.

You know, humans, we crave certainty. We crave consistency. So even when your current situation isn’t perfect, at least it’s comfortable, right? You know what to expect. And when we change things, that requires letting go of that comfort. You’re literally getting out of your comfort zone when you make changes.

And this is like your brain saying, you know better the devil that you know than the devil you don’t, you know? So instead of, you know, making positive changes, we will stay stuck. We will stay where we are presently and not grow, not evolve, not become more, because that fear of change, changing anything is too great.

It just feels too hard and too scary for us. And then number four is a fear of judgment. So you might be thinking, well, what will people think of me if I fail? What will people think of me if I succeed? You know, you don’t wanna stand out, you don’t wanna rock the boat, you don’t want to face criticism. So you stay small, you stay safe.

You don’t do things that are hard, you don’t do things that might be considered, um. Uh, great because you are thinking you’re gonna be judged if you do well or, or if you fail. So either way, you’re screwed according to yourself. You know, it’s this like unnatural fear of judgment. And again, these fears are all rooted in one thing.

Your brain is trying to protect you, and your brain isn’t your enemy. It just doesn’t understand the difference between real danger and emotional discomfort. Emotional discomfort is something that we all have to deal with, and if we can get good at dealing with emotional discomfort, um, we can overcome all of these fears and we can, you know, reach our goals much faster.

Without all the self-sabotage, discomfort is where growth actually happens, right? Everything you want but don’t already have lies outside your comfort zone. If you’re unwilling to get uncomfortable, you’re going to stay stuck forever. Now let’s talk about, um, the main ways that we self-sabotage and what this might actually look like in your day-to-day life.

So here are some of the main ways that I see, especially runners self-sabotage, especially when it comes to their health, their fitness, their mindset. And I already mentioned this one a little bit, but it’s procrastination. You know, procrastination is a very popular form of self-sabotage. You know, you tell yourself, I’m gonna start when, and then just fill in the blank.

Like, I’m gonna wait until this vacation is over. I’m gonna wait until. Monday, or I’m gonna wait until after the holidays, or I’m gonna wait until after the kids are grown up and moved out of the house or whatever. Well, guess what? Things are never going to be perfect. The planets are never going to align.

There’s never a perfect time to start other than right now. So procrastination is just fear disguised as. You know, logical thinking. Well, I’m gonna be very practical and very logical about this, and the best time to start is gonna be when this person is, you know, different in my life. And this thing has changed and I don’t have a busy work schedule and the kids are taking care.

Like you can like come up with all these. Excuses and reasons, but it’s, it’s all just a form of self-sabotage. So procrastination, one of the main ways that we self-sabotage in other ways, perfectionism. And you tell yourself, you know, if I can’t do things perfectly, why should I bother doing it all? So a lot of people, they don’t ever start anything or they quit the moment something isn’t, you know, completely perfect.

But perfectionism isn’t just having high standards, it’s the fear of being seen as imperfect. It’s the fear of having to do something imperfectly. You know, I can’t tell you how many people who I. Set out to lose weight. They change their diet, they’re doing pretty well. And then they have like a bad day.

They might, you know, eat some junk food. They like drive through McDonald’s or something like that, and they’re like, look, I can’t do this perfectly, so I’m just not even gonna bother. And they just quit just because they feel like if they’re not doing it a hundred percent, they’re not doing it right. And the truth of the matter is like.

And I always tell people this, like, if you’re doing well, like 90% of the time, if you’re sticking to your plan, like 90% of the time, you’re fine. Go through the McDonald’s, drive through if that’s what you want to do. Um, don’t do it every day. Um, but you do have a little bit of wiggle room there. So if you want to eat some french fries from McDonald’s, knock yourself out.

Number three, negative self-talk. So you might tell yourself stuff like, you know, I’m too old. I’ve always failed at this. I’ve tried before. It never works. I can’t, I can never stick to something. These, these thoughts become self-fulfilling prophecies. You know, your brain. Believes, whatever you repeatedly tell it.

And if you keep saying, I can’t do it, I’ll never be able to stick with it. I’m too old. I always fail. Those things are going to be true for you. You will be too old to do this. You will completely fail. You will not be able to stick to it. So that negative self-talk is a big one, and it’s something that you really have to be aware of.

Okay. Number four, the all or nothing thinking, you know, this is, you know, part of that perfectionism thing, but it’s like either I, I have to do it all and and do it all perfectly or not at all. So maybe you run five days in a row and then you miss a day and you’re like, you know what? Screw it. I’m just gonna start again next week.

Or you eat one off meal, off plan meal and you decide that your whole day is ruined. So you just, you know, just. Trash the rest of the day. Essentially, this kind of thinking just kills progress. You know? Consistency matters more than perfection, right? 90% rule. Just you don’t have to do it perfectly all the time.

Um, and that’s all or nothing thinking like you have to, you know, always, like I tell people, like, take a break from eating sugar, for example. See how your body feels. You might find that you do much better when you’re not eating sugar all the time, but this doesn’t mean you can never eat sugar again in your life.

You know, if you know a month from now you wanna have a donut, or you’re at a wedding and you wanna have a piece of wedding cake, eat the cake, eat the donut, it’s fine. All right? If you’re telling yourself, well, you know, I’m not gonna be able to do this. Uh, if I can’t go all in and then you do eat the donor or something like that, you’re gonna wanna quit because that’s.

Your mentality, you gotta shift that thinking. Number five is emotional buffering. Another big way that we self-sabotage. So you might be using something like alcohol or food or scrolling on social media or just being super busy to numb yourself to your emotions instead of just dealing with them instead of processing them.

So you tell yourself, well, I deserve this when what you’re really doing is you’re just trying to avoid being uncomfortable, emotional buffering. Or numbing ourselves to our feelings. You know, it feels good in the moment. It’s like, oh, you know, oh, I have a glass of wine and I just, I can really unwind and relax.

But it keeps you from facing the real issue. You know, you got emotions that you need to deal with and you need to process, and you need to feel those things. You need to feel fear and anger, and frustration, and stress, you know, and I’m not saying we, we can’t do things too. Um, make ourselves feel better at times, but maybe going for a walk or taking a run or going to the gym for a, for a workout to get those sort of feel good chemicals going, like endorphins and dopamine and stuff instead of just numbing yourself using alcohol or scrolling through social media or food.

Okay. That emotional buffering is, is a big one, and it is a big way that we self-sabotage. Um, and then lastly, overcommitting. So you’re just trying to do too much, too many goals, too many commitments. And then you just burn yourself out and that burnout gives you an excuse to just quit. You know, this is a very subtle but also pretty common form of self-sabotage.

I see this with some people who, they just have to be doing all the things all the time. They say yes to everything, and they can’t possibly commit to it all, and they use. Their overcommitment as an excuse to not be able to stick with anything essentially. Um, and again, this is like that, a type A personality disorder, I’ll call it, because I think it is a disorder.

I think having that type A personality, there are some good aspects to that. Like, Hey, you know, you’re very productive, you can get a lot of stuff done, but if you’re using it as an excuse, then you might be just self-sabotaging. So, what’s the cost of all this? Well, the hard truth is this. The self self-sabotage doesn’t just slow down your progress.

It just, it destroys your confidence. You know, every time you break a promise to yourself, you break a little bit of that trust with your yourself. You start to believe your own excuses. You start to expect yourself to fail, and it becomes a vicious cycle. You sabotage, you feel ashamed and guilty. You promise to do better, you sabotage again, and then the cycle just continues.

Does that sound familiar? This is why so many people feel stuck in the start over cycle, not because they can’t follow a plan, but because they haven’t dealt with the mindset that keeps derailing them. Okay, so how do you stop all this? How do you break the cycle? How do you stop self-sabotaging? Well, it all starts with an awareness, and that’s what we’re really talking about here today.

You can’t change what you don’t see. So what I want you to work on. This week is step one. Just notice, catch yourself in the act. When you skip a workout or you eat something you said you wouldn’t eat, or you make an excuse, just pause. Take a moment and ask yourself, is this action helping me, me, me, move toward my goal or keeping me stuck or move away from my goal?

Don’t judge it. Just notice it. Be kind to yourself, but just. Pause, is this moving me towards my goal or away from my goal? And then just notice what is happening. Identify the emotion. So what are you feeling in that moment? What is it? Fear, stress, boredom. Doubt. Frustration. What’s the emotion you’re feeling?

Because you can’t manage what you don’t understand. And emotions drive behavior. Right. It’s not the other way around. Your emotions drive your behavior. So what are you feeling in that moment? What is driving you to take the action of X, Y, or Z? And then question the thought, like ask yourself, what am I thinking right now that’s creating this feeling?

Maybe it’s, this is too hard, or I deserve a break, or one drink won’t hurt. You know, once you see the thought, you can kind of take away its power. And then number four, just choose intentionality instead of reacting automatically. Pause and make a decision. Decide on purpose. You can ask yourself this question, what would the future version of me, the one who’s already achieved this goal, what would that version of me do right now?

And then do that thing. Okay. Now, here’s a little tough love for you. If you keep self-sabotaging, it’s because some part of you is getting a payoff from staying stuck. Maybe you get to avoid discomfort. Maybe you get to keep blaming your circumstances. Instead of taking responsibility. Maybe you get to avoid the pressure of success, but if you wanna change, you’ve got to give up that comfort.

You’ve got to be willing to get uncomfortable. You’ve got to be willing to fail, willing to feel awkward, to mess up, to be seen trying. That’s what growth looks like. Self-sabotage is not a life sentence. It’s just a habit. And habits can be broken when you bring awareness, honesty, and compassion to them.

So you’re challenged this week. Keep a journal. Just write down the moments when you notice yourself self-sabotaging. When you notice yourself getting in your own way, what’s triggering it? What am I thinking in that moment? What was I feeling? What was I doing? What was the behavior? And then what would I do differently next time?

And then look for patterns. What do you, what are you, when are you self-sabotaging? Like, what does that look like for you? When are you most often doing that? When things are going well, when you’re feeling tired or stressed, when you’re afraid of being judged by others? Look for those patterns and see if you can, you know, put a few of these, uh, uh, connect a few of these dots here.

Okay? And then replace the behavior instead of reacting from fear. Choose from awareness. Even small shifts like pausing before you grab a snack or just skipping that excuse, that’ll start to rewire your brain. And then lastly, practice self-compassion. You’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re just human.

Self-sabotage is just a learned behavior. It’s a learned pattern of behavior, and you can learn a new one. Okay. So quick recap here. Self-sabotage is when your thoughts, your emotions, your behaviors work against you and your goals. It’s your brain’s way of trying to protect you from discomfort, not an indication of failure.

You could recognize self-sabotage by noticing when your actions aren’t in alignment with your intentions. We self-sabotage because we’re afraid because of fear, because of fear, of failure, of success, of change, or judgment. The most common forms of self-sabotage include procrastination, perfectionism, negative self-talk, all or nothing thinking, um, emotional buffering or overcommitting.

And the cost of self-sabotage is huge. Loss of confidence in yourself, loss of trust in yourself, loss of progress, but with awareness, honesty, and intention, you can break the cycle. One decision at a time. So here’s what I want you to remember today. Self-sabotage doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re human.

It’s just your brain’s misguided attempt to keep you safe. Uh, you are not here to stay safe, though you are here to grow. And growth requires discomfort. Change requires courage and freedom. Real lasting freedom comes from taking responsibility for your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions. So this week, pay attention.

Notice when you’re getting in your own way, call yourself out with kindness, with love, and then remind yourself, you know, I’m just not gonna do this anymore. I’m gonna choose differently this time. I know you got this. So if this episode resonated with you, if you saw yourself in some of these patterns of self-sabotage, that’s good.

That awareness is your first step towards freedom. And if you want help with this, if you wanna learn how to stop self-sabotaging, learn how to lose weight, get stronger, run with confidence. I’m here to help. Just head over to running lean coaching.com. Click on work with me to learn more about my coaching program.

That’s all I got for you today. Love you all. Keep on running lean and I will talk to you soon.

305. What to Do When You Hit the Wall

October 31, 2025 By Patrick McGilvray

Sometimes it’s during a marathon when your body just says “no more,” but other times, it’s just life that stops you cold. You lose motivation, faith, or direction — and it feels like there’s no way …

Continue Reading about 305. What to Do When You Hit the Wall →

Podcast Transcript

My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, sports nutritionist, master life coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind so you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought Possible. This is running Lean.

Hey there, and welcome to episode 305 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners. And today, what to do when you hit the wall. So we all hit walls. Sometimes it’s during a marathon when your body just says, no mas. But other times it’s just life that stops you cold.

You might lose motivation or faith or direction. And it feels like there’s just no way through. But what if the wall isn’t the end? What if it’s actually the path? In this episode, I’m talking about how to face the hardest moments in your life and find the strength to move through them, whether you’re struggling in your running, your health, or just life in general.

This episode will help you reframe those challenges and see them for what they really are. Opportunities to grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever. This one’s gonna be honest, emotional, and powerful. Stick around. But first, listen, if you’re tired of feeling stuck, if running feels harder than it should, if you’ve been doing all the right things, but you’re still not seeing the results that you want, you don’t have to keep trying to figure it all out yourself.

What most runners don’t realize is that the struggle isn’t just physical, it’s mental, it’s emotional. It’s about mindset, nutrition, training, recovery. All of it working together, and that’s exactly what I help my clients do every single day. When we work together, you’ll get a customized plan for running, for strength, for nutrition, but more importantly, you’ll get coaching and accountability to help you to follow through.

You’ll finally build the consistency. The confidence and the strength that you’ve been missing. So if you’re ready to break through your wall in running and in life, go to running lean coaching.com. Click on work with me and we can do this together. All right, let’s get into this topic. What to do when you hit the wall.

Um, and I’m not just talking about that moment in a marathon, when your legs feel like cinder blocks, your brain starts telling you it’s time to quit, and every cell in your body is screaming for mercy. I’m talking about the kind of walls we hit in our life, those things that stop us dead in our tracks that kind of make you question everything.

Maybe you’ve hit a wall in your health and fitness journey. You’re doing everything right, but the scale won’t budge. Maybe it’s in your training, you’ve lost motivation. The joy of running is gone. Maybe it’s something much bigger, something personal, emotional, spiritual, something that shakes the ground under your feet, whatever form it takes, hitting the wall can feel like the end.

But what I wanna offer you today is a different perspective because the wall. Isn’t the end. It’s not a dead end. It’s actually the beginning of something much deeper, A chance to grow, to evolve, to become someone new. Uh, there’s an amazing author and book out there. Ryan Holiday wrote this book called The Obstacle is The Way, and he says this beautifully in this book, the Impediment to Action Advances Action.

What stands in the way? Becomes the way, and that’s the essence of what we’re talking about here today. The obstacle that you see in front of you is the way the wall is, the path. The only way through is through. So I wanna start by defining what I mean when I say the wall in running. It’s that physiological crash.

You know, you’ve burned through your glycogen, your brain starts shutting systems down. You just can’t go on. You’re weak, foggy, unmotivated. Every step feels terrible. The reason I’m bringing this up is because I was talking to somebody last night who recently. Ran the Marine Corps marathon. She did it some years ago.

Um, my fiance Jill and I were just in Washington, DC for the Marine Corps Marathon. And we were working the expo, as you know, Jill is the assistant race director for Air Force Marathon. And so we were representing Air Force Marathon at the Marine Corps Marathon Expo. And so we, we watched 40,000 runners cross the finish line.

We were handing out some challenge medals at the end. It was, it was really an amazing experience. But we, um. We’re talking to someone last night who said she, she ran the Marine Corps marathon, and we were like, oh my gosh, that’s so awesome. She goes, yeah, I didn’t finish. I got to mile 20 and I quit. And we were both like, oh my gosh, that’s terrible.

You know? Um, and, and in reality, my thought was. Come on. You only had a 10 K to go. Like, you gotta push through that, uh, feeling of, uh, wanting to quit. You know, your body is shutting down. I totally get that. And, and listen, if you have ever, you know, uh, given up at the end of a marathon because of physiological reasons, you got, uh, really bad.

Cramps or you’re injured or something like that. What she was telling us was a little bit different. She just didn’t feel like she could go on, you know, there was nothing, uh, majorly wrong with her. She just kind of, you know, was tired and just felt like she couldn’t do it. And so she kind of gave up on herself and she sort of regrets that.

And, and I started thinking about that and, and I thought, you know, that’s a, that’s a good metaphor for life because life throws things at us all the time. Um. We have these moments in our life where, you know, things seem un insurmountable. These problems that seem like there’s just no way that we can get through them.

You know, there’s these huge obstacles to our, what we feel like are obstacles to our success, and we just can’t see a way forward. You know, maybe you’ve lost someone you love, maybe a relationship ended. Maybe you failed at something big like a business or a goal or a dream. Maybe you’re just exhausted from trying so hard for so long.

And here’s the thing, we all do this. Everyone at some point in their life hits a wall. You know, runners, parents, entrepreneurs, coaches, leaders. No one is immune to this. The wall is something universal. It’s part of the human experience, and it’s not a sign that something’s wrong. It’s a sign that you’re on the edge of transformation.

Our natural instinct, though, is to avoid it, we want to go around it, go under it, find a shortcut, or pretend it’s not there. And that’s a problem because growth doesn’t happen by avoiding walls. Growth only happens when you go through them. Here’s a truth that took me a long time to really grasp the wall.

Isn’t your enemy, it’s your teacher. Every wall you hit in your life is trying to teach you something. It’s showing you what’s not working. It’s revealing what still needs to change inside of you. It’s refining you, burning away what’s weak and temporary, what’s not in alignment with who you’re becoming.

You know, one thing in my life that was a big struggle was. Uh, 18 and a half years ago, I, I was really struggling with this addiction to alcohol and I had kind of hit a rock bottom and it felt like the end of my life. Like, this was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to like, deal with, you know, to, to stop drinking.

Um, because it was really destroying my life. It was, it destroyed my marriage. It was, um, threatening to destroy my relationship with people, with my kids. Um, and it was something that just felt like the end of me. But really it was the thing that I had to go through in order for me to become the person that I am today.

And today, that wall that I hit, I’m grateful for that wall. Right in the moment though, it did not feel like that. It felt like the end of the world to me. It felt like the end of my life. It was painful. It felt like a loss. It, I felt like a failure. But I can look back on this, you know, years and years later, and I can realize that.

The wall wasn’t blocking me. It was actually guiding me toward who I needed to become. I wasn’t being punished, I was being shaped. Okay, so when you hit the wall, it kind of brings everything to the surface. The fear, the doubt, the excuses, the stories you tell yourself. It’s like stripping away all your armor, your raw, you’re vulnerable, and you can’t hide behind things like willpower anymore.

And that’s why it’s so uncomfortable. That’s also why it’s so powerful ’cause when you’re standing there face to face with whatever it is that your wall is in that moment, you get to see who you really are. It reveals that about you. It reveals who you are. You see what you really believe about yourself.

You can see how much you can actually trust in your own strength. You see whether or not you’re willing to fight for what really matters to you. And most people never get to that point because they quit. They quit before they get there. They feel the discomfort, they see the wall and they run the other way.

But if you stay, if you stand your ground and you choose to go through it, that’s where you find the version of yourself that’s been waiting on the other side. You know, it’s like pushing through the marathon when you only have those last 10 Ks to go. And I can relate to this because I’ve been there before, back in 2012.

I know this was a long time ago. That’s when I hit my marathon pr. Um. Like a 3 43, uh, which is pretty decent for me back in the day. I, I felt great about this. Um. It was in Indianapolis, it was in November. It was cold. We were dealing with, uh, an ice storm. Uh, the wind and, and, and ice were blowing in my face, heading back towards downtown Indianapolis.

And I had a friend running me in those last 10 Ks, like he met me at mile 20 right around there and, and was running me in. And I actually said to him out loud, like, I don’t think I can do this. I don’t think I can keep running like this. And he just said, you, yes you can. But I was like, forced to deal with this wall that was in front of me, you know?

And it was like a, literally like a wall of wind and ice, you know? And, and, and I was doubting myself and the pain had set in and I was exhausted. Um. And, and he just said, you, you can do this. And, and that was the thing that’s just, I just kept running that through my head. Like I just have to push through, you know?

I know what’s on the other side of this. I’m going to hit my PR if I can keep going like this, and I really, really, really wanted to quit and I didn’t. Right. Most people though, when they’re in that situation, when they feel like they just can’t go on when they. See the wall. When they hit the wall, they do one of three things.

They stop, you know, they give up. They tell themselves, it’s too hard. I’m not good enough. I can’t do this. Or number two, they try to go around the wall. You know, they look for the easy way out. What’s the shortcut? What can I do to avoid this discomfort here? Or number three, when they see the wall, they pretend it’s not there.

They numb out with food, with alcohol, with scrolling, with busyness, anything to just avoid feeling that pain of dealing with the wall, of going through the wall, but all those things, stopping going, trying to go around it or pretending it’s not there, they keep you stuck. You can’t outsmart the wall, you can’t ignore it.

You can’t run from it. Eventually it’s gonna find you again, usually in a bigger way. So you have one real option, and that is to face it. And that is terrifying, but it’s also where freedom lives. So the first step in breaking through any wall is facing it and accepting that, that it’s there, accepting it.

You gotta stop seeing it as a problem and start seeing it as part of the process. The wall isn’t a detour, it’s not a roadblock. This is the path. This is where you shift from. Why is this happening to me? To what is this here? To teach me that question. What is this teaching me? This changes everything for you.

Because it takes you outta victim mode and puts you in power mode, right? You stop fighting reality and you start working with it and acceptance. It doesn’t mean resignation. It doesn’t mean you’re giving up. It means you’ve acknowledged that, okay, this is real. This wall here, this is a real thing. And then choosing to go through it.

An ex good example of this is when I first started working as an entrepreneur and I was coaching other entrepreneurs, um, I was working with people who own small businesses and were trying to get started and I had some experience with this and so I started, you know, coaching them and this never really felt right for me.

Um, I had to accept the fact that this wasn’t really where I needed to be and it wasn’t the right. Fit for me and, and I had to sort of give up on that idea, you know? And when I finally did that, when I finally accepted that this wasn’t really where my heart was, and I started working with runners instead, everything fell into place beautifully for me.

But that was really hard to do because quitting something that I had started, I am not a quitter. I don’t quit anything. And when I had started this business and, and I had to make a decision because it just wasn’t working, I had to make that decision to shift into a different sort of genre here, a different, uh, niche.

And so I had to, uh, make that decision to shift gears and do something else, but it felt like a failure. It felt like I was a complete failure. And, and I didn’t wanna be a failure to myself or anybody else, but I realize now that I just pivoted. All I did was, was made a little, you know, shift in my direction and everything became clear.

And, and of course, this business that I have has become a. Incredibly successful, and it was facing that wall and going through it and not trying to avoid it, not pretending it wasn’t there. You know, my wall was, this wasn’t the right fit, you know, and, and this isn’t working. And, and I had to go through that in order to get where I am today.

But listen, going through the wall. It sucks. Okay. It’s like an emotional rollercoaster. It’s not graceful. It’s not easy, it’s messy. It’s emotional, it’s raw. You’re gonna cry, you’re gonna want to quit. You’re gonna feel lost. You’re gonna question everything. Your faith, your purpose, your strength, and you might even get.

Angry at yourself, at others, at the universe, and all that is okay. It’s part of the process, but you can’t numb your way through the wall. You can’t just check out and avoid it. You have to feel your way through it. The emotions that come up, the fear, the anger, the sadness, the grief, they’re not the enemy.

They’re signals. It’s like an alarm going off saying like, Hey, this is some stuff going on that you need to move through. Okay. And when you let yourself feel all that stuff, when you a, allow yourself to, to go on that emotional rollercoaster, ride without judgment, without, you know, uh, beating yourself up about it, something shifts for you.

This is when you actually start to heal and the wall begins to crack. And one of the most important lessons I’ve learned in all of this is that. Resilience isn’t built in comfort. It’s built in the moments when you think you can’t keep going, but you do anyway. Yeah. Every time you face a wall and you refuse to quit, you’re building that muscle of resilience.

That’s how you grow stronger mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Runners understand this better than most people ’cause every hard run, every tough race, every miserable workout, it’s training your body and your brain to handle the tough stuff, to handle adversity. And that’s why I always say like running is such a perfect metaphor for life.

’cause if you can learn to push through the pain during a really tough run, you can do this anywhere, right? The key though is that you can’t just like survive it. You have to be present in it. You have to notice what’s happening. You have to be aware. You have to be there. You can’t just check out. Notice what your mind is telling you.

Uh, notice how much stronger you are than maybe you think that awareness is what transforms that pain into power. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve run in the freezing cold. Or the pouring rain or push through a really hard race. And every time I’ve done something really hard like that, it’s built up just a little bit of mental toughness.

It’s like building that mental toughness muscle. And little by little, my mental toughness, my resilience has grown and gotten stronger and stronger and stronger, and it’s taken years. And it’s taken going through a lot of tough stuff, tough runs and divorces and you know, a addiction. And cancer, like I’ve I, back in 2003, I was diagnosed with cancer and I had to go through all of that really tough times, but I came out the other side of that a lot stronger.

It didn’t feel like it at the time. I can look back on it now and say, yes, that was something that I had to go through in order to become who I am today. But you can’t avoid these things. You can’t avoid. The wall because all that does is just keeps you stuck. It just delays the growth and compounds your suffering.

Every time you avoid discomfort, you reinforce the belief that you can’t do it, that you can’t handle it, that it’s too hard for you, and you’re teaching yourself, Hey, when things get hard, we quit. Like the person I was talking to yesterday about the Marine Corps marathon, she got to mile 20 and it got hard.

There’s a hill there and she couldn’t do it. She quit. And that becomes your default for life. But the truth is you can handle it. You’ve already handled so much more than you give yourself credit for. Think about all the walls you’ve already gone through. Every challenge, every loss, every heartbreak.

You’ve made it through. Every single one. I always tell people you’ve got a hundred percent, uh, uh, track record of getting through tough stuff. We all do. We all have a hundred percent track record of getting through tough stuff. You didn’t think you could do it at the time, but you did. You always did. So when the next wall shows up and it will remember, this isn’t new.

You’ve been here before. You know what to do. You gotta just keep going. So I wanna give you guys a couple of practical tips for a minute here. ’cause this isn’t just about thinking, it’s just not just about mindset. It’s what you do when you hit the wall that really matters. And here’s a few things that can help you to move through it.

Number one. Pause, right? Don’t panic. Don’t freak out. When you hit the wall, your first instinct is to, um, you know, freak out and panic and think the world is about to end. But instead just take a beat. Okay? Take some deep breaths. Remind yourself. This is temporary and you don’t have to fix it right now.

Just breathe and stay present. Number two, just name what’s really going on. What’s the real wall here? Is it fear or self-doubt or burnout? When you name it, you get power over it. Okay. When, when you just, when you’re thinking about something as being so overwhelming that you can’t deal with it, then it has power over you.

But when you give it a name, because it might be something like addiction, but what’s, what’s really behind that? It’s like fear. You know? When you give it that name, then it becomes something that you have power over. Okay. So pause, name it. Number three, ask better questions instead of like, why do things always happen to me?

Why is this so hard? Maybe ask a question to of yourself, like, what’s the real lesson here? How can I grow from this? You’re gonna start to see opportunities instead of obstacles. Alright, those questions are terrible. Why is this so hard? Well, you can come up with all kinds of ideas and reasons why it’s so hard.

But when you say, how can I grow from this? You can come up with lots of ideas there too. Focus on those questions. Those are much better questions. Number four, lean on your people. You don’t have to go through anything alone. Talk to your friends, your family, your coach, your running community. Sometimes just being seen and heard makes the wall feel less heavy and it it becomes something that you can get through and maybe you need help from others to lean into that.

Okay? Don’t, don’t neglect that. Number five, recommit to the process. The wall will test your commitment. It’s like, how bad do you want? This is what it’s saying to you, okay? Reconnect to your why. Why are you doing what you’re doing? Remember what you’re fighting for. Okay? And then number six, take the next step.

Don’t worry about the whole wall, just take the next step and then the next one, then the next one, then that’s how you get through it. One small, messy, but brave step at a time. That’s what’s gonna get you there. Okay. And I get it. Sometimes the wall just feels too big, it’s too painful, it’s too much. And there are things that happen in life when you hit wall after wall, you just don’t have the strength to go again.

And I get that. And if that’s you. Hear me when I say this. You’re not broken. You’re not weak. You are being refined in fire. Sometimes the wall doesn’t move because you’re not ready yet. You’re still becoming the person who can move it, who can push through it. Don’t rush this process. Sit with it, learn from it.

Let it change you. And when you’re ready, when you’ve built the strength, the courage, the faith, that wall that once felt impossible will start to crumble. This took me years and years and years when I wanted to quit drinking. I knew I had a problem with alcohol. It was too big, it was too painful. It was too much.

I couldn’t do it. And it took me years and years and years to sit with it and learn from it. And eventually I had enough strength and courage and faith in myself to attack that and quit, you know? But it felt impossible at the time. It felt like there’s something I could never do. I had to sit with that one for years.

Hmm. When you finally do come out the other side though, something beautiful happens. You’re not the same person who, you know, walked into that wall on the other side of it, you’re stronger. Now, you’re wiser. You’re more grounded, more compassionate. The things that used to scare you, maybe they don’t so much anymore.

The thi things that used to break you or you know, you felt like they could break you. They don’t have that power over you anymore. Because you’ve been through the fire and you didn’t just survive, you transformed yourself in the process. And once you’ve gone through that, once you know you can do it again.

And then once you do it again, you know you can do it again. That’s where freedom, uh, really begins. That’s where your strength really comes into play. That’s where growth really happens. Circling back to Ryan Holiday’s book, the Obstacle is the Way. It’s not just a catchy quote, it’s literally a roadmap for life.

So whatever’s in your way right now, whatever wall you’re facing, it’s not blocking your path. That is your path. It’s the training ground for your soul. Every wall you face prepares you for the next one, and every obstacle builds the strength that you’re gonna need later. And when you start to see life that way, life really changes for you.

You stop dreading hard things. You start welcoming these hard things as opportunities to evolve. Now, we don’t wish these things on ourselves. We don’t wish for, you know, these huge obstacles to show up in our lives. But when they do, you’re not as afraid of them. You realize that the wall isn’t, you know, punishment.

It’s how you build your purpose. Okay. Now, a lot of you, uh, are, are runners and I want to talk a little bit about running here because. What it’s like to hit the wall. Uh, physically, we understand that as runners, right? You, you get that fatigue, that moment where you can’t just, you can’t go another step, but you do anyway.

You dig deep, you find something inside of you, something primal, something fierce that refuses to quit. Well, that same spirit and strength that’s inside you when you’re running and you want to quit, but you keep going. That’s what you need to tap into when life gets hard, when everything starts to fall apart, when you’re tired and broken and scared.

That same, you know, runner’s heart that got you across the finish line, that’s what you need to tap into. You just have to remember that that’s there and it’s available to you. And you’ve done this before and you can do it again. So if you’re standing and, and staring at your wall right now. Maybe it’s a health challenge or a relationship, or your job or your training.

I want you to know this. This moment is not the end. It’s the middle. It’s, it’s the part of the story where everything starts to change for you, but you can’t run from it. You can’t numb yourself to it. You can’t pretend it’s not there. You have to face it and feel it and then move through it. ’cause on the other side of that wall, that’s where freedom is.

And power and peace, and you will make it through this. You always do a hundred percent track record so far of getting through tough stuff. And if any of this spoke to you in this episode, if you’re in the middle of your own wall right now and you want help getting through it, that’s what I do every day as a coach.

I help runners get unstuck physically, mentally, emotionally, so they can do hard things. Lose weight, get stronger, become the best versions of themselves. If you’re ready to break through your wall, just go to running lean coaching.com, click on work with me, and we can do it together. That’s all I got for you today.

Keep on running Lean and I’ll talk to you soon.

304. The In-Between: What Happens After Your Big Race

October 24, 2025 By Patrick McGilvray

You’ve crossed the finish line, achieved something incredible, and then… it’s just over. Now what? This week on the Running Lean podcast, I’m diving deep into The In-Between: What Happens After …

Continue Reading about 304. The In-Between: What Happens After Your Big Race →

Podcast Transcript

Hey there, and welcome to episode 304 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGill. Ray, the weight loss coach for runners. And today, the in-between. What happens after your big race? So you’ve crossed the finish line, you’ve achieved something incredible, and then it’s just over. Now what? Well, today I’m diving deep.

Into the in-between. What happens after you complete your big race? This is a space that few runners really talk about, that strange quiet period after your big event. When the structure disappears, the endorphins fade and your left feeling a little lost. I’m gonna walk you through what’s really happening mentally, emotionally, and physically.

During this time and how to handle it like an athlete with wisdom, with care, and long-term perspective, you’ll learn how to recover the right way, how to rebuild your mindset and reignite your purpose so you stay consistent and strong between seasons. ’cause running isn’t just about one race, it’s about who you become for life.

But first, if you’ve been feeling stuck lately, like running just isn’t clicking the way it used to rest assured you’re not alone. Maybe your energy feels low, your pace isn’t improving, or you just can’t seem to find that spark again. I get it and I can help. What most runners don’t realize is that running stronger, feeling lighter and performing your best isn’t about doing more.

It’s about doing the right things, the right nutrition, the right strength training, the right mindset, and that’s exactly what I teach inside my coaching program. It is a comprehensive, personalized approach that helps you transform your body and your mind, so running feels easier, more powerful. And more fun.

Again, you’ll rebuild your confidence, renew your energy, and start seeing results you didn’t think were possible. So if you’re ready to take your running and your life to the next level, go to running lean coaching.com. Click on work with me. Let’s get you running. Lean for Life. Okay, so let’s talk about the in-between.

What happens after your big race? So today’s topic is about something that almost every runner experiences, but a lot of people just don’t talk about it. It’s that strange, quiet sort of emotional space that happens after you finish a big event like a marathon or ultra marathon. Or maybe you just ran your first half marathon and suddenly you feel like you just.

Don’t know what to do next. You’ve spent months, maybe even years, training for this one thing. You’ve structured your entire life around it. Every run, every meal, every weekend long run, every early morning, wake up in the rain and the snow in the wind. Then you cross the finish line, you feel the joy, the pride, the relief, the pain, all of it.

And then it’s just over. And you wake up the next day and you’re like, okay, now what? So I want to talk about what happens in that place that’s. Base between mentally, emotionally, and physically, and you gotta learn how to navigate this with some grace and with some purpose. And this in-between time can be really hard, but it can also be beautiful.

You might feel lost, you might feel unmotivated, you might even feel a little depressed. But I want you to understand that this is normal and it’s necessary, and if you handle it right, if you can actually. Set yourself up for greater success in your next chapter, whatever that looks like for you. So I’m gonna walk through what’s really happening in your mind and in your body after a big race.

How to care for yourself physically and emotionally. How to get moving again, and how to set new goals for the future, all without losing your sense of direction or purpose. Because we’re not just doing this for one race, we do this for life. So let’s start with the emotional side of this, because that’s where most people feel this first.

So you’ve just come off of months of structure and focus and intensity, and you had a clear goal, a plan to follow, a purpose driving you every single day, and now it’s all gone. What most runners don’t realize is this, this creates. A very real emotional and chemical shift in your body and in your brain.

When you’re training, your brain is constant re constantly releasing feel good chemicals like dopamine, endorphin, serotonin. And every time you check off a workout or nail some long run, your brain gives you a hit of that reward system so you feel accomplished. You feel like you’re moving forward, and then suddenly.

You’re not chasing anything anymore. There’s no countdown. There’s no race on the calendar, no Saturday long run to prepare for, and your body’s not producing those same chemicals at the same level, and that’s why you can feel flat and unmotivated or even sad, even though you just achieve something amazing.

It’s a little like withdrawal. And if you’re not expecting it, it can kind of throw you off and you might start questioning yourself, like, why do I feel this way? Shouldn’t I be happy I just accomplished this major thing? How come I feel so depressed? But listen, there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just a natural swing from a high intensity season back to a resting one.

And it’s the pen pendulum swinging back to the center. So one of my biggest emotional crashes came after I finished the Iron Man, uh, in Louisville in 2013. I had trained for more than a year for this event. And when I crossed that finish line, it was one of the most amazing moments of my life when I crossed the finish line and I heard the announcer say, Patrick McGill, you are an Ironman.

Every time I say that, I get chills. Like I got goosebumps right now. Definitely one of my most amazing moments, probably the proudest moment of my life up to that point anyway. And. I was reeling, you know, for a week or so afterwards, but the depression and the sadness kinda kicked in and I felt like I didn’t have any purpose anymore.

Like my sole purpose for more than a year had been, you know, preparing to cross that finish line. And then I did it and it was done, and I felt like I, I should have been so happy, but I wasn’t, I felt like. Something was wrong with me. So first and foremost, you gotta give yourself permission to feel all of this, right?

You don’t have to rush out of it. You don’t have to fix it. There’s nothing to fix. Just let yourself feel it and then let yourself sort of come down from that. Okay? Now let’s talk about the physical side, because this part is just as important and just as misunderstood. So most runners underestimate how much recovery they truly need after a big race.

Even if you’re feeling okay a few days later, your legs aren’t as sore. You can walk normally again, you can go downstairs without wincing, your body’s still dealing with. Massive stress. Your muscles have micro damage. Your glycogen stores are depleted. Your hormones and your immune system are out of balance.

Just because your mind wants to run again doesn’t mean your body is ready for it. And this is where a lot of runners get into trouble. They start running again too soon. They do too much too soon. They want to, they wanna get back on track. They want to get. That physical feeling again, of running, and they wanna fill that emotional void too with more training.

But if you push your body before it’s ready, you risk injury burnout and prolonged fatigue. So there’s a better approach. I’m gonna call the smart recovery timeline. So this is where the, for the first, you know, one to two weeks after a big event. Don’t do much running. Really, this is the time just to rest, sleep, recover and reflect.

Do some walking, some stretching, some yoga. If it feels good, maybe a short bike ride. I think walking is one of the best things you can do, but keep everything. Easy and restorative. And then once you start getting into weeks like three and four, you can start adding in a few easy runs, but only if your body feels ready.

Keep the pace slow, the distance short. Focus on just getting out there and moving, even if you’re doing a run walk thing, not. You know, increasing the mileage too fast. And then week four and beyond, you can start to gradually rebuild your running routine. A few easy runs, maybe one day of light strength training.

Still no, you know, intense speed work or long runs. Let your body reestablish some balance before you start, you know, building again. Okay. The rule of thumb I always share is this, you can’t rush recovery, you can only support it. And after my a hundred miler that I did back in 2017, I was feeling so kind of lost and stuff.

So I signed up for a trail marathon that was just like two months later and I figured this would give me enough time to recover. And I went into that event thinking it was gonna be pretty easy ’cause it’s just a marathon. I thought to myself, you know, I just ran a hundred miles, so this marathon’s gonna be super easy, but I, my body was not ready to run that much.

Um, I did a few easy training runs and I felt okay, so I figured, oh, it’s fine. I’ll run a marathon. I had such a terrible time out there. It was really hard. Every step was challenging. My legs, uh, were definitely not ready for this, and I had to make the tough decision to cut it short. It was a looped course.

Each loop was like six and a half miles, so they had a, a 10 k, a half marathon and a full marathon. I ended up doing three loops and then called it quits. It was around 20 miles, but that’s all I could do. That’s all I had in me. At that point, I had to just listen to my body and say, you know, um, I, I can’t finish this, and I shouldn’t really, I didn’t wanna get injured.

Uh, you know, I didn’t want to just burn myself out. Um, so I had to like squash my pride a little bit and call it quits around the 20 mile mark. And I, and I feel like that was the right decision. So remember your body, you know, you just did something extraordinary, but it was very stressful. Um. Probably for, for some of us, you know, if, if you ran your fastest marathon or your first marathon or whatever, it’s, it’s probably the most demanding thing you’ve ever done.

And you’ve gotta give your body time and respect and care, um, just like you do in your training. You know, you respect your body and your, and your, um, and your physical state in your training. You gotta respect it in your recovery as well. So let’s shift gears a little bit. I wanna talk about something a little bit deeper.

Something that catches a lot of runners off guard, and this is the identity shift. So when you’re training for a big race, your identity gets wrapped up in that process. I’m a marathoner in training. I’m a. I’m an ultra marathoner in training. I’m an Ironman in training, and you’re, you’ve got this mission, you got a big goal.

You got this mission, your schedule, your nutrition, your mindset, everything orbits around that one big goal, and then suddenly that’s all gone, that identity. Disappears. Uh, you’re still a runner, of course. Um, but that structure, the drive, the sense of purpose is gone. It’s like you’ve lost your compass and it can feel really unsettling.

Some people start overcompensating by signing up for another race right away. Others just stop running altogether for a while either. Extreme kind of misses the point though. The truth is this, in-between time is a chance to reconnect with yourself, not as someone chasing a race, but someone who runs because you love it, because it’s part of who you are.

And this is your opportunity to remember why you started in the first place. Training for those big races for me. It took years of my life and, and during those years, my identity was all about being an Ironman or being that a hundred mile finisher. And after those events were over, I had to accept that.

Yes, that is a part of who I am, but I’m also so much more than that. I’m more than an ultra runner. I’m more than an Iron man. In fact, it was shortly after I did that Iron Man and I finished that, that I decided to quit my corporate job and start, uh, my own business. And I started coaching ’cause I wanted to share everything I learned about, um, running and identity and purpose and nutrition with other runners who might also need help navigating all that stuff.

So that was really. The thing that made me sort of shift my identity. Okay, so I want you to ask yourself, what do I love most about running when I’m not training for anything? Like what is it that’s really driving you and what else in my life lights me up that maybe got pushed aside during the training?

Who am I outside of this event or this particular finish time? This is the identity work that turns you from a. Seasonal athlete into a lifelong athlete because when you truly identify as an athlete, as someone who values health and strength and growth year round, then you don’t really lose that sense of direction or identity.

When one race ends, you just move into a different season with a different intention. Okay, so once the dust settles, once your body starts to heal and your emotions start to level out, this is the perfect time for a mental and emotional reboot. It’s not about setting the next big goal yet. It’s about reflection.

Learning and gratitude. Here’s a few things I recommend to every runner after a big race. Reflect on your race honestly. So what went well? What didn’t go so well? What’d you learn about yourself? What are you gonna do differently? Next time, write it all down while it’s still fresh. This kind of reflection gives you valuable insights that you can bring into your next training cycle.

So definitely do that reflection. That’s very, very important. Number two, celebrate. Celebrate your accomplishment. Do not skip this step. Most runners finish a race. Immediately think, okay, what’s next? But you just did something incredible. You earn that moment. So go out to dinner, eat some ice cream, frame your medal, share your story.

Take pride in that. Uh, number three, practice some gratitude. Thank your body for carrying you that far. Thank your mind for staying strong. Thank the people who supported you. Gratitude is very powerful. It helps you shift out of self-criticism and into appreciation for everything that you have. And then number four, check in on some other areas of your life when you’re training.

A lot of things can fall by the wayside, like relationships, hobbies. Even simple rest. Take time now to reconnect. Spend more time with family, with friends, do something non-running related. And this is all part of your emotional recovery plan. It’s how you refill your cup. It’s not just so you can go run again.

It’s about so you feel balanced and whole as a person, as a human being. So now you’re a few weeks out from your race, you’re starting to feel a little more like yourself again. You’ve rested, reflected, maybe you’ve gotten in a few easy runs. Now what? When should you start planning your next big thing?

Well, my honest answer is this. Just do it when you feel ready, emotionally, mentally, not just physically. If you’re still feeling kind of burnt out, mentally tired, or like you’re. Forcing yourself to care about things, you’re probably not ready yet. Give it some time. Most runners do best when they take two to four weeks off before making any big training decisions or any big race decisions during that time.

Keep moving. Keep journaling and start asking yourself some other questions like, what do I love most about, uh, training? What did I love most about my last training block? What kind of challenge lights me up? What excites me? Um, what did I miss out on that I want to experience next time? When you do feel ready to choose your next event, choose from a place of curiosity and desire, not like.

Fear or peer pressure. Don’t sign up for something just to fill the void, which is what a lot of people do. They come down off a race and they immediately sign up for something else. ’cause they wanna get that feeling back. Right? Choose something that feels meaningful for you, something that lights a spark in you.

And it doesn’t have to be another marathon. Maybe it’s a trail race. Maybe it’s a shorter distance with more focus and speed. Maybe it’s something totally different like. Just doing some strength training or cycling. The point is, your next goal should support your growth, not distract you from your emotions.

So after my Iron Man finish, I, I was like, you know what? I never want to do that again. I did not love the bike. I love running. I, I did grow to love swimming, but I never really liked cycling. Training for the Ironman requires a lot of time in the saddle. So I hung up my tri bike and I decided what I really loved and what I was really passionate about was trail running.

It’s simple, it’s primal, it’s freeing, you know, just get out there on the trails and run, and there are no bikes involved at all. So I signed up for a trail ultra marathon. I think it was a 50 K that next spring, and I set my sights on, on this new purpose and, and that decision felt really good to me. Okay, so let’s talk about what to do in the meantime, because this is where a lot of runners lose momentum.

So when you don’t have a race on the calendar, it’s easy to just drift, sort of, you know, it is like a ship on the ocean without a rudder. You’re just, you’re just out there. You have no purpose, no direction, and a lot of people lose consistency. Um, they start skipping workouts because they tell theirselves it really doesn’t matter right now, but this is actually one of the most important seasons of your entire athletic life.

The off season. That’s when you build a strong foundation. That’s when you maintain your fitness, uh, keep your habits solid, take care of your body, build strength. Here’s how to stay consistent between big goals. Number one, keep a simple running routine. You don’t have to train like a maniac. Just a couple easy runs per week is plenty.

Just enough to keep your aerobic base strong and your body in that rhythm of running. Number two, keep lifting. Strength training is the best off season invest investment you can make. I think you should be training all year round. Um, but the, the off season is definitely a time where you can spend more time, uh, building a, a solid strength foundation.

This is gonna keep you strong all year long, prevent injuries and make you faster when you do ramp up your training again. Uh, number three. Eat well. Don’t fall into the trap of reward eating after your race. Your body still needs real nutrient dense food to recover, and this is the perfect time to dial in your nutrition again and rebuild that metabolism.

Number four, prioritize sleep and recovery. You may not be training hard, but your body is still catching up from months of stress, sleep, rest, mobility, all that stuff still matters. And then number five, stay connected. Whether it’s to a coach or a running group or an online community. You don’t have to go it alone.

Stay connected, um, and it’ll help you to stay accountable and remind you why you love this sport so much. Because remember, we’re not doing this just for one race. We’re doing this for life. The most successful, resilient runners are the ones who learn to manage these in between seasons with patience and purpose.

They don’t chase the next high. They build consistency slowly and intentionally. So if any of this resonates with you, if you’re sitting in that in-between right now, if you’re feeling lost or unmotivated after your big event, please hear me when I say this. You’re not broken, you’re not lazy, you’re not done.

You’re just in a different phase of the process, and this phase is just as important as all the others. This is where you rebuild, reflect, and you remember. Who you are at your core, not just as a runner, but as a human being who’s learning, growing, and evolving through this sport that we love so much. The race isn’t the end, it’s just one chapter, okay?

The space between races, that quiet, uncertain, uncomfortable space, that’s where you truly become the athlete that you’re meant to be. So take care of yourself right now, physically, mentally, emotionally. Be patient with your body. Be kind to your mind. Celebrate what you’ve done and trust that when the time is right, that next goal will find you.

Right? ’cause you’re not training for just one season, you’re training for life. Alright, that’s all I got for you today. Love you all. Keep on running lean and I’ll talk to you soon.

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