Emotions

My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Sports Nutritionist, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you properly fuel your body and your mind. So you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster, and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.

Hey there, and welcome to episode 261 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, The Weight Loss Coach for Runners, and today is a replay of How Your Thinking (More Than Anything Else) Determines Your Results.

So when it comes to fitness, so much attention is put on your actions, what you should do and what you shouldn’t do, eat this, not that lift this way, not that train like this, not that. And I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t do stuff.

Of course, you got to do stuff if you want to get results, but I think you need to stop focusing all of your attention on actions and start paying much more attention to your thinking. It’s your thinking that determines whether you stick to a plan or not. It’s your thinking that keeps you going when the going gets tough.

So in this episode, it’s all about how your thinking, more than anything else, really determines your results. But first, I’ve got something exciting to share with you guys. I’ve created a brand new coaching and training program, and this is going to entail personalized running plans to help you hit all of your running goals in 2025.

This plan is available right now. So whether you’re a beginner runner and you want to do a couch to 5k program, or you’re an advanced runner and you want to crush your fastest marathon or ultra marathon, or anything in between, I’ve got a training plan for you.

You’ll get a custom training plan. This is what’s different between a lot of other running coaching plans that you find out there on the internet, where you just download a training plan, you’re going to fill out a pretty extensive questionnaire that’s going to answer a lot of questions about how you like to train, what you’re training for.

You know, what days of the week you like to run? Like what days do you like to do your long runs? So a lot of information that I’m going to gather from you, and then I will put together a customized training plan for you, so you can pick between a 12 week plan (three months), a 16 week plan (four months), or a 20 week plan (five months).

And these just depend on what race you want to train for and what distance, typically the shorter distances, 5k, 10k, half-marathon, will be 12 week plans, 16 week plans for marathons, 20 week plans for ultra marathons.

And some of the benefits of having a personalized training plan and coaching from me are that you’re going to learn how to become a stronger, faster runner. You’re going to improve your power, your speed, your endurance, you’re going to learn how to train smarter so you can avoid injury and burnout. Nobody wants that.

You’re going to learn how to fuel and hydrate properly for training and for race day, you’re going to train more consistently so you make more progress and get better results overall. You’re going to have someone there (me) holding you accountable so you’re more likely to stay on track.

You’re going to be getting feedback on all of your training runs, so you’re going to get that support of an experienced running coach guiding you every step of the way, and you’re going to benefit from an outsider’s perspective. So I can spot weaknesses in your training. I can spot areas that need improvement.

A lot of times, when you’re doing this stuff on your own, you’re just going through the motions, and you have no feedback on how you’re doing, I’ll be able to look at things, you know, pretty objectively, so that I can make some suggestions on your training and how to improve. And then we’ll put together a comprehensive race strategy for you for your spring race, or whatever time of the year you happen to be running your race, and you’re going to have somebody there that’s encouraging you, motivating you, cheering you on.

And you can find all the information and get yourself signed up. Just go to my website, runningleancoaching.com, at the very top of the page, you’re gonna see a link to Run Coaching. Just click on that and get yourself signed up.

You’re gonna fill out a questionnaire, and then I’ll get your training plan over to you, and you and I are gonna connect. We’re gonna do all of our communication via messaging, and I’ll be able to share lots of great information with you and give you feedback on all your training runs. So go to my website, runningleancoaching.com, click on Run Coaching at the very top of the page, and you can read all the information, and it’ll explain and answer all your questions.

If you still have questions, there’s a place where you can reach out to me on there, but I look forward to seeing you in my new running coaching program, and it’s called the Running Lean Training Project.

So if you want, you know, to really be able to crush your races this this whole year, you know, whether it’s in the spring, summer or fall, go have a look at the website, runningleancoaching.com, click on Run Coaching and lets you and I start working to get you to your goals.

Cool, all right, so today I wanted to talk about some mindset stuff, and I went back through some of my older episodes to see what I’ve talked about and what I haven’t talked about. And I really wanted to talk about this idea that your thinking really determines your results.

And I realized this is one of the very first episodes I did back when this was called The Running Mind podcast, because I was going to really just focus on mindset at the beginning of this whole journey of mine. And I realized that I had a lot of great information in this podcast already, so I’m just going to replay it for you here.

This is also the time of the year when I’m trying to take a little bit of time off and not doing as much podcasting and coaching and things like that. So this is a good one to put out there as a replay for you guys, because there’s a lot of good information in here, and it’s really going to go over how your thinking really determines what actions you take and don’t take, and the results that you end up getting, whether you’re trying to lose weight or get stronger or improve your running, your mindset has a lot to do with that. A lot, a lot a lot to do with that.

In fact, I would say it is probably the most important thing that you can work on, that mental fitness. And this is something that with all of my coaching clients, my private coaching clients, who were, you know, when we’re working on weight loss and, you know, strength training and improving running, that the mindset stuff we work on is probably the most important work that we do together.

And the biggest changes that people make, the biggest shifts that people make is in their mindset, and that’s what determines, you know, whether they’re going to be successful or not. So it’s one thing to know what to do, oh yeah, I should be training this way, or I need to run this many days a week, or whatever. But it’s another thing to actually have the mindset of like, This is who I am. This is what I do. This is a part of me now. This is how I live my life now.

So this is so vitally important. So I hope you get something out of this episode. This one’s, you know, for you guys to help you, you know, get into that right frame of mind as we, you know, round out the this year. As 2024 we’re coming to the end of 2024 and we’re about to start a new year. So your mindset is incredibly important. So have a listen to this one. Let me know your thoughts on this, and as always, I love you all. Keep on Running Lean and I will see you soon.

Okay, so today, we’re going to be talking about how you’re thinking more than anything else determines your results. Now we want to do a quick little recap from last week, in case you’re brand new to the podcast that this is your first time listening. Or if you just want a quick little recap, you know, like when you’re watching Netflix and they’re like, here’s what happened last week on you know, whatever it is and then they show you and you’re like oh yeah, I forgot about that. Well, that’s what I’m going to do here for you. Okay, so here’s what happened last week on The Running Mind podcast.

So you sit, you ration the circumstances in your life, the stuff that’s happening around you, is neutral, it’s always in neutral. It’s your thoughts about your situation that cause you to feel the feelings inside, okay? So you know, if you get a flat tire on your way to work, the flat tire doesn’t cause you to be pissed off. Okay, it’s your thoughts about getting the flat tire that caused the emotions, okay.

And then your thoughts about a particular situation will be different depending on how you experience the world. So whatever your model of the world it is, which is based on your past experiences, your beliefs, your values, your religious views, and on and on, these are all filters that we use to kind of, it’s how we perceive the world around us. And they’re different for everyone.

So we each have our own model of the world. We each experience, quote, unquote, reality differently. Okay, the way you interpret the circumstances in your life, that is your reality, the way that I interpret the circumstances in my life, that is my reality. So we each have a kind of a different reality. We call this the model of the world, your model of the world.

But the empowering part about this is that you get to create your own reality, and everyone else does, too. So what you actually think is like, just the way it is, isn’t the same for me, it’s not the same for everybody else. Just the way it is, is the way it is for you. Okay.

And an example I gave was like, if you are running a marathon, and you get a cramp in your calf at mile 18 and it hurts, and you have to stop and walk. So that’s just a circumstance, that’s just what is happening. You can choose for it to mean nothing, no big deal. I’m going to finish a little bit slower than I thought. Or you can choose it to mean, I’m an utter failure. I can’t, you know, ever be successful at running a marathon. I can’t believe I had to walk. I’m a terrible person. I’m unworthy.

Yeah, the cramp in your leg is not causing those feelings. Okay? This is what you’re thinking about it. All right. So situations are always neutral. There’s just circumstances in your life, your thoughts, you get to choose your thoughts. That’s your thinking, which causes you to feel emotions, and emotions are those one word things like anger, sadness, fear, frustration, disappointment, even like joy, happiness, confidence, love. These are all emotions that we feel based on how we think.

Okay, then today, we’re going to fill in the last two pieces of this puzzle, which is actions and results, okay. So your thinking causes your feelings, your feelings, determine your actions, okay? And then your actions, the actions that you take, determine the results that you get. Okay?

So let’s talk a little bit about actions. Actions, our actions are the stuff you do. Actions are the behaviors that you engage in the steps that you take. Actions can also be stuff you don’t do. Now, inaction is a form of behavior, right? Or an action. So every action you take is driven by your feelings.

And you might be thinking, Well, no, I just, you know, I do things because I know I have to or whatever, but think about this for a second. Have you ever gone out? And just like you went for like a 10 mile run? And you’re like, I don’t know, when I did that, I just felt like it. Right? Or if you’re, if you’re Forrest Gump, and it’s like, why have you been running for so long? I don’t know. I just felt like running.

Or maybe you were supposed to go out for a training run and it was like cold and rainy and you’re like, I don’t really feel like it today. So your feelings about the situation are determining what you’re going to do or not do? Okay? Another example is like, people with depression, they often don’t feel like doing anything, you know, and hear me out on this like depression is a diagnosed mental disorder. And I’m not saying it’s something you can just turn on and off with your thinking.

But, you know, depression is caused by things like you know, it’s biological, psychological and social sources of distress cause depression, the definition. You know, the Google definition of depression is a mental health disorder characterized by persistently depressed mood or loss of interest in activities, causing significant impairment in daily life. In other words, if you have depression, you don’t feel like doing anything. You have a lot of loss of interest in activities.

And I’m not saying this is all there is to it, but it’s part of it. It’s part of the equation of depression. But think about this for a minute. If you’re feeling lonely, if you’re feeling sad, or depressed or unworthy, how are you going to show up in the world? What actions are you more likely to take? Or what are you not going to do?

You know, how are you going to show up for work? For your partner, for your kids? What behaviors good or bad do you think you’ll partake in? If you’re feeling lonely, sad, depressed and unworthy? My guess is that you’re probably going to take some negative actions, you’re gonna engage in some negative behaviors, you probably make some poor choices, you might even, you know, start doing some escape-ism stuff, you know, checking out and numbing.

But what if you felt differently inside? Like, what if you felt feelings of confidence? What if you felt feelings of contentment, of peace? What if you were grateful and happy? How would these feelings determine your actions? What do you think you would do if you felt that way?

You know, what actions would you be more likely to take? And then think about how you would show up for work if you were feeling that way? How would you show up for your partner or for your kids? How would you show up for your training runs? What do you think you would do or not do?

So it’s so important to understand that, you know, everything that we do, we do because we are feeling a certain way. And a lot of times, you know, there’s things we do, because we don’t want to feel that way anymore. So this is like in painful situations. We can engage in some, you know, I call it like escapist or escapism, numbing behaviors, you know, overeating, drinking too much. lethargy, you know, spending money.

A lot of people, you know, shop, they have that shopping addiction. And I’m not making fun of that, but I saw this meme recently that I thought was pretty funny. And at the top of it, it just said, you know, therapist says, “Now, what do we say when we’re feeling sad?” And then the patient says, “Add to Cart”. The therapist was like, “No”.

But it’s true, it makes us feel good, we get that little hit of dopamine when we purchase something, or when we, you know, have that drink, or take that particular drug or eat the french fries, and the burger and the milkshake. You know, it makes us feel good temporarily. It does help us to not feel the feelings of pain or sadness, or loneliness, or unworthiness or whatever.

And it does work, it works for a minute, it kind of makes the pain go away temporarily, but then when that little buzz wears off, the pain is back. And then it becomes worse, because now we beat ourselves up about engaging in this bad behavior. And then the cycle just continues. So our feelings can really determine that our feelings really determine our actions.

And we have to be careful about the kinds of actions we take when we’re feeling certain ways, okay. And then these behaviors that we engage in can become habits after a while, and they can actually form new neural pathways in our brains. And so they can become easier to do over you know, over time, they become easier and easier to do these things, they become habits, and they become part of our subconscious.

And this can be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on the behavior. Okay. So just to kind of summarize what I’m talking about with actions, your actions are the things we do or don’t do, they are the behaviors we engage in, or don’t engage in, they are good or bad behaviors. And then it’s our actions that actually determine all of our results. Okay.

So results are the things that you get in your life, or the things that you want in your life. These are usually tangible and measurable. So results can be things like, hey, I ran a half marathon and under two hours, that’s a tangible measurable result. I lost 10 pounds. I got a promotion at work. I made $100,000 last year, these are all tangible, measurable results.

Something like there’s a little bit of a gray area, but it’s like I have a great relationship with my partner. So that could be an opinion. But you could quantify that by saying, like, oh, we communicate clearly and openly and regularly, we work through all of our issues. You know, we spend quality time together, we speak each other’s love languages, that could be a measurable way of saying that that is a result that you have, okay, but every result that you get in your life is determined by action you’ve taken or your inaction, okay?

So what you do, or don’t do, determines what you get, or don’t get. And if you want different results in your life, if you want something to change, you have to take different actions, right, the definition of insanity, that’s doing the same things over and over and over expecting different results.

And the crazy thing is like, we all do this, we’ve all done this at some point in our life, right? You know, I just, I’m going to keep training the same way, every season for my marathon, and I’m not getting any faster. And it’s still way, super hard. But I’m not changing my diet, I’m not changing my training plan, I’m not doing anything different. And I keep getting the same results. Why is this happening to me?

It’s like, Hey, you gotta switch some stuff up, right? But what we do, determines what we get. And what we do is driven by how we feel. So if you want to change your actions, you’re going to have to change how you feel. First, you have to change the emotions that you’re feeling. And since your thoughts determine your feelings, you’re gonna have to change your thinking first. So basically, what I’m saying here is if you want different results in your life, you have to change your thinking, Okay?

How you’re thinking more than anything else is going to determine your results, how you think about your situation, or how you think about, you know, whether you can do this thing or not, you know, if you think I remember when I sign up for my Ironman, that was a big deal for me back then. I was scared to death.

I hit the, you know, submit button when I paid for it, which was like $700, by the way. So there was fear. And there was like, a sense of like, am I doing the right thing here? But anyway, I was full of fear, like, can I do this? Can I accomplish this really hard thing? I mean, it’s a crazy event, you know?

And so I had to change my thinking, at some point, I had to sort of become an Ironman, like I had to, you know, get into the thinking of like, Yes, I can do this, in order for me to get those results. Because if I thought the whole time, like, there’s no way I can do this, there’s no way I can do this. There’s no way I can do this.

Guess what? When I show up at the starting line, my habitual thought patterns and feelings around this are all going to be I can’t do this. That’s a terrible way to approach something like that. So instead, I had this thought of like, I’m going to do this, I am going to do this, I can do this. You know, I was still nervous and fearful and things like that. But I pushed through that. I thought and felt in my heart that I could do it. And I did. Okay, so here’s a great question. Ask yourself, what do you want? Seriously, what do you want? See, very powerful question. And unfortunately, we don’t really take it very seriously. But think about it, like maybe you want to run a full marathon someday.

Or maybe you want to start your own business. But you’re thinking like, I could never do a full marathon like, I’m just I’m not capable of that. Or I would love to start my own business, but it just seems so complicated. I just don’t know enough. You know, or maybe what you want is a better relationship with your husband, or you want that promotion at work or you want to start your own business or you want to hike the Appalachian Trail you want to vacation in Italy.

Or you want to spend a month on a tiny island in the middle of the South Pacific. Seriously, that’s what I want. I want to spend a month on some remote little island in the middle of the South Pacific Ocean. That’s what I want. But think about it, like what do you want in your life? Start asking yourself that question seriously, and figure out the answer, figure out what it is that you want. Because it’s a very, very important question.

So I’m going to give you guys a little writing exercise this week. And this is going to help you to see how this all works. I’m gonna give you an example here in a minute, but it’ll help you to see how this works. But it will also help you to start in creating some new realities for yourself and start getting some results that you want. And when you start doing this work on a regular basis, you will start to create better habits, and you’ll start to create those new neural pathways like I was talking about.

So here’s the exercise I want you to do, I want you to think about something that you really, really want, okay? And just write it down. And then write down all the thoughts you have about that thing, just brain dump everything out on the page doesn’t matter, good, bad. Otherwise, just break down everything you’re thinking about. It’s really interesting, when you start doing this, to see what it is, your thoughts are around something like that, you’re going to surprise yourself with what you’re actually thinking.

And then write down how those thoughts make you feel. You know, some might make you feel good, some might make you feel terrible, but just write down the feelings you’re feeling. You know, the emotion words, those one word emotion words. And then think about the actions that you’re taking or not taking because of those feelings. And then are those actions going to get you the result that you want? Are those actions going to get you what you want or not? Okay?

So that is like step one is to write down all that stuff. And then what you want to do is on a separate piece of paper, you know, write down that thing that you want again, but then, you know, write down what you want to think instead, the thoughts that would make you feel differently. You know, a lot of times, it’s going to be kind of the opposite of some of those thoughts that you had that maybe the negative thoughts.

So write down the thoughts you want to think instead. And then write down the emotions that those thoughts cause you to feel. And then write down the actions that one might take, because of those feelings, and then see if that is going to move you closer to that thing that you want. And I think you’re going to find some very interesting results from this. So here’s an example. I want to spend a month on a tiny little tropical island in the middle of the South Pacific. Okay, that’s what I want.

My initial thoughts when I just think about it is, oh, my gosh, that’s gonna be really expensive. I don’t think I can afford it. I don’t know if I can be away from home for that long. I would really want somebody to go with me, but I’m not sure who so I don’t know, do I just go alone? That sounds lame.

And I just don’t know if you guys need to know this or not. I’m going through a divorce right now. It’ll be finalized soon. I’m doing good. I’m doing pretty good through all that. But when I talk about things, like, you know, maybe I should go alone or find somebody to go with me. I’m not cheating on anybody. Just so you know. Okay.

So those thoughts are like, it’s expensive. I don’t know if I could be away from that long. Who should I go? You know, who would want to go with me? Do I just pick a friend? I don’t know. Maybe I go alone? What are those thoughts cause me to feel well, they caused me to feel fear, like financial fear, like, oh my gosh, I don’t know if I can spend that much money. You know, there’s that fear of the unknown of uncertainty.

Then I’m feeling things like loneliness and sadness about it. Because if I go by myself, is that lame? Does that make me feel sad? Maybe? And then what actions would I take? Because of those feelings? Probably nothing, I probably wouldn’t do anything.

And what are you thinking about this right now, as I’m saying this to you? Are you thinking like, do you just go? It’s going to be so much fun. What a fun adventure. I know, that’s what you’re thinking. And I’m kind of thinking that too. And I’m looking at this and going like, I don’t want to feel those feelings. You know, if this is something that’s important to me that I want to do, I need to take some different actions, I need to feel differently, I need to think about it differently.

So the results I would get would be nothing. I wouldn’t go on this trip. I just wouldn’t do it. Now. Piece of paper number two. Let’s say I write the same thing on there. I want to spend a month on a tropical island in the middle of the South Pacific. What thoughts would I want to think instead? Well, first of all, I can probably save money for this. It wouldn’t take that long. You know I can work, get out so that everything is covered from a work perspective, you know, get all that stuff covered. Because I don’t think I’m gonna have access to the internet in this place. I think I just want to be unplugged.

You know, workout, social connections and meetings. And although I can get my schedule figured out, my schedule is flexible on purpose. So I can do things like this. And I bet I could find someone to go with me. I mean, who wouldn’t want to go to a tropical island for a month with me? It would be amazing. Are you kidding me? So oh, my God, he’s so amazing. I could even go alone and just make it an opportunity for me to like, really discover myself. I mean, that sounds right there.

When I say it like that. It’s like, Whoa, that sounds so cool and empowering. And how does that make me feel? Oh, my God, now I’m feeling excited and adventurous. And it sounds like fun. I’m feeling joyful, and even grateful. Grateful for my schedule, grateful for these kinds of opportunities. And I’m even feeling a little bit of fear. But it’s okay. It’s like, it’s fear. But I know, it’s like, the fear of like, of the unknown. And that’s okay, like, I can handle that.

All right, then what actions would I take based on those feelings? Well, oh, my gosh, I’m gonna start planning this thing, I’m gonna start a savings fund, I’m gonna grab a map and start figuring out what island I want to go to and figure out how to get there, gotta take all these little planes or whatever, and I’m going to talk to some friends and find somebody to come with me.

And then, you know, the two of us will start talking about it and planning together and all that into anticipation. And all the planning just sounds so fun. Like, that’s the kind of action that I want to take. And then the result would be that I go on this life changing adventure to this little island, you know, and it all starts with thinking about it differently. You know, so that result that I want in my life, that thing that I want, I can get that and I can see how I can get that by changing my thoughts by changing my feelings and changing my actions.

I feel I want to go on this trip now. I’m gonna have to do that. And like keep you guys posted as to what is happening with that, because this would be amazing. So here’s a quick recap. circumstances in our life, the situations where it’s always neutral. Okay, we get to choose our thoughts about how we feel about each situation, okay, choose our thoughts.

And then our thinking determines our feelings and our emotions, our emotion. Our emotions drive our feelings. I’m sorry, our emotions, drive our actions or inaction. And then those actions determine the results that we get. And if you want different results, you got to change your thinking, okay.

So there’s like five little components to this, these little five things, you learn these five things, and you’re gonna learn how to master your mindset, for running and for life. Okay, I hope you’re seeing how this all fits together. This is the secret to the universe.

Seriously, if you understand this, and you start to really grasp these concepts, and understand how this works, you are going to live a more empowered life, you’re going to start getting what you want in your life. And you’re going to start feeling amazing. And you’re going to start doing amazing things and start getting amazing results. Cool.

You can always drop comments on my posts there too, or send me a message or whatever. I’d love to hear from you. I love connecting with you guys individually. I love hearing how you’re thinking about this stuff and how it’s changing the way you’re thinking and seeing the world. And I would love to hear about the results that you’re getting. Cool. I hope you all have an amazing day. Much love to each and every one of you and I’ll see you next time