When it comes to accomplishing big goals, you have to expect things to get hard. For example, losing weight takes time, and for some it can be a long and challenging road to get there. Yes, …
257. Replay: Handling the Holidays Like a Badass
The holidays can be a very difficult time of the year for a lot of people. Shopping for gifts, planning social events, spending more time with family, and the added end-of-year demands at work can …
Continue Reading about 257. Replay: Handling the Holidays Like a Badass →
Podcast Transcript
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, sports nutritionist, Master life coach and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you, properly fuel your body and your mind so you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to episode 257, of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, The Weight Loss Coach for Runners and today, Handling The Holidays Like A Badass. So, the holidays can be very difficult for a lot of people. You’re shopping for gifts, you’re planning social events, spending time with family, and then added end of year demands from work, this can all make all of us feel more stressed and overwhelmed, not to mention shorter days, colder temperatures, lack of sunlight.
All this makes getting outside to exercise more challenging, and exercise is our happy place, right? So it can be very easy to just say, “f it” and blow off all your diet, all your exercise plans, stay indoors, watch Netflix with a big old glass of wine and just hibernate until the new year, right? But if that’s not how you want to roll into 2025 I’ve got an alternative solution for you.
In this episode of the podcast, I’m going to share a few simple tips for handling the holidays like a badass, so you can slide into the New Year feeling good about yourself, which is not the way most people do it.
But first, if you’ve ever considered coaching, I’m going to tell you right now is the perfect time to take action. For most of us. This is the off season. It’s time for you to kind of scale back your running and focus on things like your diet and nutrition. If you’re somebody that is interested in losing weight, this is the perfect time to make those changes to your diet, start losing the weight, so that when we roll into 2025 you can start your training, you know, feeling good about yourself and having developed some good habits and stuff like that.
It’s also a great time because you know, your running is a little bit less of your volume of running is a little bit less, so that it’s a good time to focus on other things, like getting stronger, and again, losing weight and things like that. So if you want a little bit of help with all this stuff I got you. I can help you get leaner, I can help you get stronger. I can help you run longer and run faster.
All you gotta do is go to my website, runningleancoaching.com, click on, Work With Me, and I’ll show you exactly how to start the new year feeling like the most badass version of yourself, yet cool. Just go to runningleancoaching.com, click on work with me, and let’s do this.
All right. I wanted to share a little bit of how to handle the holidays, and I realized I had recorded a couple of different episodes about getting through the holidays and maybe some good tips and stuff. And I was looking back through my notes on this particular episode, and I really like the content here, so I’m not going to talk too much about it, but this is a replay from a couple of years ago, I think. But this is called Handling The Holidays Like A Badass.
I know that this episode is going to come out the day after Thanksgiving. So just keep that in mind that if you’re somebody that wants a little bit of help with all of the stuff that’s happening between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, then I’m here for you, okay, but this is going to kind of focus on that part of the the year, this end of the year, these last few weeks of the year, and it’s kind of a short time.
There’s only like 35 days this year between Thanksgiving and New Year’s, and usually it’s a little bit longer than that, so it’s a good time to really focus on taking care of yourself and deciding on how you want to show up in the new year. And I’ll talk about all that in the podcast.
One other thing I wanted to let you know about is that if you’re interested in a challenge during the holidays, over in the Running Lean Podcast community on Facebook, we’re doing the running through the holidays challenge, which is basically just a challenge to run every day, from Thanksgiving Day through New Year’s Day. And I’m, you know, you can go on the Facebook group and join the group, and you’ll, you’ll see all about it, but basically, it’s just run at least one mile each day, between Thanksgiving Day and New Year’s Day.
Try to do it outdoors if you can, and you don’t have to. There’s no real rules around this or anything. It’s not super strict, but if you can just run at least one mile each day outside, that’s kind of preferred. What we’re trying to do is focus on getting outside, getting in the sunlight. If you have sunlight where you live, even if it’s cloudy, you’re still getting some of that sun in your eyes.
It’s really important, but it’s a way of like, getting that endorphin release and that that dopamine and the oxytocin, all those feel good hormones going through this typical dark and dreary part of the year, especially with all the holiday stuff that’s going on, a lot of stress that’s happening, it’s a good time to focus on just being outside and running and doing something that’s good for you, mentally, emotionally, physically. So check out the Facebook group, Running Lean Podcast Community.
You can just type that in to Facebook, and you’ll find our group. Join the group, and then you can participate in the challenge. You don’t really have to do anything to participate. You can post pictures and comment on other people’s posts and things like that. It’s a fun time of the year where we’re all supporting each other and getting through the holidays feeling good about ourselves.
We want to roll into 2025, feeling good about ourselves. So join us over there and join us for the running through the holidays challenge. Okay, I’m going to stop yammering on here, and I’m going to play this episode for you, and I hope you all have an amazing holiday season this year. All right?
All right on to this topic today, which is all about handling the holidays, like a badass. This time of the year, it can be very hard for people, right, we’ve got more stress this time of the year than any other time of the year collectively, right?
The days are cold, it’s dark, work is a little busier, you got to get all this stuff done at the end of the year. You’ve got more social events, you’re spending more time with family, you got to plan more meals, you’re buying gifts, you’re wrapping gifts, you’re sending out Christmas cards, maybe you’re traveling.
And all of this stuff can really feel overwhelming and cause a lot of people to really struggle. You know, this is supposed to be a fun time of the year, right and everybody looks forward to it. But at the same time, it can be very challenging for a lot of people, okay.
So when you find yourself feeling this stress, it can be very hard to stick to your diet and exercise plans, it can be very hard to want to get up and go to the gym when it’s cold and dark outside, it can be very hard to want to stick to your food plan when everybody around you is eating a bunch of junk and cookies and candy and all this other stuff, right?
So if you just want to stay inside and hibernate, like during this time of the year, that is perfectly fine. You’re allowed to do that, right? But if that’s not how you want to spend the holidays, then you get to decide what you want for yourself, okay, if you want something different, this episode is for you. Okay?
If you want to be able to stay on track, stick to your diet, keep up with your runs, keep up in the gym, whatever it looks like for you. You are allowed to do that. By the way, you don’t have to just fall into this habit that most people fall into, which is just kind of giving up a lot of this stuff during this time of the year.
How many people do you know to say, well, you know, the diet starts on January 1. Well, why? Why would you wait? Right? Why do you want to wait until then, to start improving your life? Why do you want to wait until then until you start doing something that’s good for you? Why do you want to wait until then, to start improving your health and your fitness?
I say start today, if that’s what you want for yourself, it doesn’t matter that we’ve got the holidays coming up, it really doesn’t. There’s always something going on, right? I want you to think about how you want to show up on January 2, you know, who do you want to be when you start the New Year? How do you want to show up for yourself?
Do you want to feel shame and guilt remorse and regret? Because you’re going to be starting from like a health and fitness deficit? Like you got to make up a lot of ground because you gained some weight you got a little softer?
Or do you want to feel proud of yourself and confident and happy with your choices? Do you want to start the new year with momentum? Do you want to start the new year ahead of the curve, like feeling like you had your back during this period of time, right? It’s a choice, it is a choice, you get to decide.
So here’s what I’m going to do, I got three tips for you today. And I’m gonna break these down a little bit. But the first one is step number one. Or tip number one is that you get to decide who you want to be on January 2. And you should get very detailed with this, right?
And I tell people all the time to like do these writing exercises, like write it out. Write out who you want to be. And I know a lot of people that listen to this podcast are just like, yeah, whatever. I’m not gonna write that out.
But you know what, it makes a difference. It really does. The people that take the time to do this work and actually sit down and do the writing, when it comes to things like this, they get better results I’m just going to tell you, they do.
So if you want to get better results, I want to encourage you to do a little bit of writing around this. Who do you want to be on January 2, you know, I want you to envision this version of you and write down what it will look like and feel like to be that person on January 2, right.
Now you get to decide if you want to keep losing weight, maybe you’ve already started a weight loss regimen and you’re kind of losing and you’re like that and you want to continue to lose weight. Maybe you want to just maintain your weight through the holidays. Or maybe you’re okay if you gain a little bit of weight during the holidays.
But you’ve probably never thought about it like before, right, but really, it’s a choice, it’s a choice that you get to decide how you want to show up for yourself in January if you want to gain a little bit of weight, that’s fine.
But I just want you to make that decision now. Because this decision that you make today is going to drive your behaviors over the next few weeks. So let’s say you decide you want to gain weight, that means like, you’re probably going to eat more food, drink more alcohol, indulge in a bunch of, you know, sugar, and, you know, processed foods and go a little bit crazy. Maybe you’re gonna, like, stop running for a few weeks, or, you know, not go to the gym. That’s fine. If you want to do all this, it’s totally awesome.
Just know that you will probably gain weight in this process. And if you’re okay with that, if you’re okay, showing up in January, you know, five, eight pounds heavier, whatever, awesome, more power to you. Okay, you get to decide if that’s what you want for yourself, maybe you want to maintain.
Maybe you’re the kind of person who is like, you know, what I’m gonna stick to my healthy eating plan. For the most part, I might make some more exceptions than normal, you know, I might have a little more wine here and there, I might be drinking some more beers, I might enjoy a dessert or two, but for the most part, I’m gonna, you know, kind of stick to the plan.
And maybe you back off the running and the strength training a little bit, but not entirely. So this is a way of maybe maintaining your weight. Okay, totally fine. Again, all these options are available to you.
You’ve probably never thought about it like this before, though, right? Most people just assume that they’re gonna, like, just continue to lose weight or whatever, during the holidays, but they don’t change anything. Okay.
And then let’s say you decide you want to lose during the holidays, you want to continue to lose weight, this is going to require that you keep planning your meals and keep sticking to your plan, right, it’s just going to require that you stick with your running schedule, you keep up with some sort of resistance training. And this plan is awesome. And I’m super proud of you if you decide to do this.
But just know that it requires a commitment, it requires a little bit more discipline and a little more motivation. It doesn’t require as much motivation if you’re okay, gaining some weight over the holidays, right. So you get to decide, do you want to gain weight, maintain your weight or lose weight, make that decision.
So here’s what not to do. So most people go into the holidays, thinking that they’re going to keep losing weight or stay the same, but then they eat a ton more food. They’re eating all the sugar, they’re drinking alcohol, they’re slacking off on their exercise regimen. This is the way most people do it. They don’t have a plan, they just think they’re gonna stay on track.
And they think they’re just gonna, like maintain their weight, but they’re not. Their behaviors are not in alignment with the goal of wanting to maintain their weight. And then they show up on January 2, and they’ve gained weight, they’re like 10 pounds heavier.
And they’re like, I don’t understand what happened. It’s like you didn’t make a plan. You didn’t decide how you wanted to show up. So step one is deciding how you want to show up on January 2, who do you want to be, write it down, decide today, who you want to be, and decide if you’re one of those people that wants to gain weight, maintain or lose weight, make that decision now, and then act accordingly.
So if you’re the kind of person who wants to lose weight, you’re gonna have to stick to your plan. You’re gonna have to be diligent and not eat the cookies when everybody else is eating the cookies.
Maybe people are drinking around you and you’re not. You’ve got to make that decision. If that’s what you want for yourself. Okay? Just be honest with yourself, who is it you want to become? And then act accordingly. Okay, so that’s tip number one or step number one to this process.
Okay, step number two is to make a plan and stick to the plan. So now you have a very clear picture of how you want to show up on January 2. So now you just need to make a plan and stick to it right? It seems so simple, but most people do not do this. Most people just wing it. Right? Don’t wing it. Make a plan.
So making a plan means that you’re planning out all of the events that are coming up, you plan out your meals, you plan out your workouts, you got holiday parties, family events, weird schedules, whatever.
Your kids are gonna be out of school, maybe you work from home and your kids are gonna be home with you. You’re gonna have a house full of people. All this stuff can be an excuse for just blowing off your diet and exercise routines.
And I hear this from people all the time, oh, well, you know, the kids are out of school. So that means I have to eat a lot more cookies. No, it doesn’t, it really doesn’t mean that at all. Right, don’t use that stuff as an excuse for not sticking to your plan. This will require a little bit more, you know, work a little more thought work a little bit of more discipline on your part.
Yes, it will make a plan and stick to the plan, you get to decide what’s on your plan. Just make a plan. Decide what’s coming up, like you know what’s coming up, you know that there’s going to be this holiday event, you know, there’s going to be this work thing, you know, there’s going to be kids around, whatever you got to make cookies for this thing, cupcakes, whatever, plan for all of it.
Decide what you’re going to eat and when, decide when you’re going to get your runs in, decide when you’re going to go to the gym to get your resistance training in, and get it all planned out in advance. Right, so simple, and then just stick to that plan.
Over in the coaching group, I have an entire course called Getting It All Done, where I show you exactly how to plan everything in your life so that you can make it all work, because I get it. We’re all busy. We all have busy lives, we’ve got work, we’ve got kids, we’ve got school, we’ve got all kinds of things going on, right?
And I make these suggestions like, hey, you should probably get outside and exercise every day, you should probably be doing some resistance training. You know, you should probably do some stretching and some yoga and things.
People are just like, dude, I can’t. I don’t have time for all this stuff. And I don’t want you to use that as an excuse. I don’t want you to use the I don’t have time as an excuse, okay? Because time is just a mental construct. It doesn’t truly exist.
You make the time for whatever is important to you, you absolutely do. So make the time for what’s important to you decide what’s important to you make the time and get it done. But I have this cool course right, it breaks it all down and shows you exactly how to do all that. I
found this quote when I was preparing for this podcast, and it might be from Ben Franklin. It’s kind of you know, the internet, who knows what some of this stuff. But anyway, it’s this quote has been attributed to Ben Franklin – “If you fail to plan you’re planning to fail.”
Boom, I love this, quote, if you fail to plan, you are planning to fail. I want to encourage you to not skip this step. Don’t skip the planning, make a plan. Most people just don’t do it. They just wing it. And if you don’t have a plan, you’re going to inevitably fail. Okay.
And just so you know, starting in January over in the coaching group, we’re going to be focused on starting the New Year, the right way. And I’m going to show you exactly how to plan your meals, what you should be eating, what you shouldn’t be eating, and most importantly, how to stick to that plan. Right, anyone can make a plan. It’s the sticking to the plan that’s the hard part.
Here’s my best advice for achieving greatness in any area of your life. Are you ready? Here it is. Make a plan. And then stick to that plan, even when you don’t feel like it. That’s it, make a plan and then stick to the plan. Even when you don’t feel like it.
You can accomplish just about anything with that kind of attitude. If you want to lose weight, make a plan to maybe you quit eating sugar and you quit eating processed food, and then stick to that plan, even when it’s hard. stick to that plan.
Even when you’re surrounded by cookies and candy and pastries. Because you’re gonna want that stuff. It will be hard in that moment, you will not feel like sticking to your plan in that situation.
You know, maybe you’re making Christmas cookies with your kids and the whole house smells like sugar cookies, right? How do you stick to your plan, that’s going to be hard, but you can do it. I know you can.
But that’s what it means to stick to your plan even when you don’t feel like it. If you want to get stronger, make a plan to lift weights a few times each week. And then do that. Work that plan. Even when it’s cold and dark outside.
You don’t feel like getting up and going to the gym because you’d just rather sleep in, get your butt out of bed and get to the gym. Even though you don’t feel like it, do it anyway. That’s how you get stronger.
Right? So make a plan and then stick to the plan. That’s my second best advice for getting through the holidays like a badass.
And then step number three. Listen. You might fail. No big whoop. Do not beat yourself up if you fail. Do not beat yourself up if you fail. What happens if you fail? What happens if you don’t stick to the plan? What happens if you eat the sugar cookies or you just skip the gym or you skip that run because you decided to stay inside watching Netflix?
Like what happens in that situation? And by the way, here’s a little sidebar for you. Netflix, is not bad. Netflix is not the worst thing in the world. People talk about watching TV as being the worst thing you can possibly do. So much so that like, it can feel very guilty and shameful.
When you just sit down to watch a show I say enjoy your TV, but just like anything else, the dosage matters. So just do it in moderation. Right?
And by the way, I just started watching Succession on HBO – holy cow, that is an awesome, awesome show. So enjoy your Netflix, enjoy your streaming TV, whatever, enjoy your movies. It’s a great way to spend some time and you know, snuggled up on the couch with a loved one or something like that. End of rant.
Okay, that was a little sidebar. So what happens if you, if you fail, you eat the cookies, you just don’t get to the gym, whatever. What happens if you don’t stick to your plan 100%? Do not beat yourself up. Just get back on track as soon as you can.
If you screw up one meal, it’s not going to ruin everything for you just get back on track at your next meal. If you miss a workout, don’t freak out about it, you’re not going to lose all your fitness. Just make a point to get back on track at your next workout.
A good rule of thumb is to not have two bad meals in a row and never skip two workouts in a row. What we’re after is consistency, not perfection. It’s more important that you put weeks and months together of consistency. Rather than sticking to some plan perfectly every single day. It’s just not practical to think that way. Right?
The same thing goes for our running through the holidays challenge. If you miss a day, it’s no big deal. Just pick it back up again the next day. It’s not about doing it perfectly. It’s about doing it consistently.
And this all might make common sense. And, you know, it can be very easy to slip into the habit of beating yourself up over this stuff though. It can be really easy to just feel guilty or shameful or talk smack about yourself. Right? These things do not do you any good whatsoever. Right?
What happens is, a lot of times people will have a cheat meal, or they’ll miss a workout. They feel terrible, ashamed, and guilty. And this can very easily spiral you down into an attitude of like, just screw it all. Why should I even bother with any of this, I always mess up. Don’t do that.
Right, indulging in these negative thoughts and negative feelings. And we call these indulgent emotions. When we do this, we indulge in this negativity and worthlessness and shame and guilt – don’t do that. It’s very detrimental to your success. Okay?
Because what happens when you feel bad? What happens when you beat yourself up like this? Typically, you just want to feel better. Typically, you just run to find something to make yourself feel good again. And a lot of times that means using food or alcohol.
So it just makes the situation worse. It completely compounds feeling bad, right? So I plan on failing, it’s part of the process, not a big deal. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Okay. Strive for consistency, rather than perfection and get back on track at the very next opportunity.
Okay, so quick recap. My three tips for handling the holidays like a badass, first of all, decide who you want to be on January 2. Do you want to gain weight, maintain your weight or lose weight and then act accordingly? Who do you want to be on January 2?
Who is that badass version of yourself? What does he or she look like and write about it? Write what it would feel like to stay consistent through the holidays right about what it would feel like to show up on January 2. Feeling good about yourself feeling confident, feeling like you had your back this whole time and decide who you want to be.
Step number two. Make a plan stick to the plan even when you don’t feel like it. Remember, if you fail to plan you are planning to fail.
And then step number three is don’t beat yourself up. If you do fail, no big whoop. Get back on track at your next meal or your next workout. Don’t ever skip two workouts in a row. Don’t ever eat two bad meals in a row. Okay, we’re striving for consistency, not perfection.
And I know you got this. I know you guys have absolutely got this. Love. You all keep on Running Lean and we’ll talk to you soon.
255. The Shortcut to Health & Fitness Success
Everyone wants to know how to lose weight, how to get healthier, how to run faster, and how to get there as quickly as possible. We have become a society of instant gratification, from instantly …
Continue Reading about 255. The Shortcut to Health & Fitness Success →
Podcast Transcript
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, sports nutritionist, Master life coach and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you, properly fuel your body and your mind so you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to Episode 255 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today, She Shortcut to Health and Fitness Success. Everyone wants to know how to lose weight, how to get healthier, how to run faster and how to get there as quickly as possible. We’ve become a society of instant gratification from being able to instantly download any music or any movie that’s ever been made to having whatever we want delivered right to our door, oftentimes, the very same day. Nowadays, people have no patience for anything, especially when it comes to something like losing weight, which can take a long time for a lot of people, it’s not uncommon for it to take six months or more to lose 20 or 30 pounds.
This is all good and fine, but isn’t there anything we can do to get there faster? So in this episode of the podcast, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret, the shortcut to health and fitness success, so that you can get to your goals maybe just a little bit faster.
But first, if you’re considering coaching, if this is something that you’ve been thinking about, if it’s something that you want for yourself, right now is the time to take action. For most of us, this is the off season. We’ve done our fall races. We’re starting to get into the holidays, and then we’re going to pick up our training again in January. So right now is the best time to get started, because if you want to lose some weight, if you want to change your diet, if you want to start, you know, working on getting stronger, or getting yourself ready to start your training in January, then you’re going to want a few weeks, a month or so, to get yourself ready for all of that. This is a very, very good time to change your diet, because you don’t want to start changing your diet in the middle of your training cycle, or, you know, right before your race. You can do that. And I work with a lot of people who do that very successfully. They, you know, they might be halfway through their marathon training, and they, we work on changing their diet, getting the fat adapted, getting off the sugar and stuff like that. And it can work fine for a lot of people. But honestly, if I had to tell you what’s the best time to start, it would be in the off season, and that would be right now, okay, this means that you’re going to make some changes to your diet. You’re going to get used to those changes. You’re going to start losing weight, you’re going to start feeling better come January, you’re going to be stronger, you’re going to feel lighter, and you’re going to be well on your way to getting fat, adapted and then feeling your best so that when you do start your training, you’re giving yourself every opportunity you you need in order to perform at your best.
Okay, so just understand that you know having a coach getting you through the holidays is also something to consider, because listen, the average American gains like eight pounds from Thanksgiving until January 1. Average, that means there’s a lot of people that gain a lot more than that. Okay, you don’t want to be one of those average people. Okay, so instead of, you know, showing up on January one, regretting all the decisions you made over the last six weeks or so, wouldn’t it be awesome to show up on January one feeling like you’ve been making progress all this time. So having a coach to help you get through the holidays is an amazing thing to have. You got somebody guiding you, supporting you, helping you along the way, keeping you on track so that you don’t become one of those quote, unquote, average Americans who gains about eight pounds during the holidays. Okay, so if you’re interested in coaching, like I said, Now is the perfect time to get started. Just go to my website. That’s your first step. Go to runningleancoaching.com. Click on work with me. You’ll fill out a little application, and you and I will get on a zoom call. I’ll tell you all about coaching, how it works. We’ll talk about your goals. We got to make sure that you know this is a good fit for you, and if it is awesome, we can get started right away. Okay, runningleancoaching.com. Click on work with me, and I will show you exactly how to become the most badass version of yourself, yet. Cool.
Okay, so today. I want to talk about the shortcut to your health and fitness success. And the reason I’m talking about this is because I was having a conversation with one of my running besties, so one of my running friends, and she mentioned that she would really, really love to be able to do one pull up. Okay, this is a goal that I’ve worked on with a lot of my clients. Actually, there’s a lot of, especially women out there who, they just want to be able to do, like a pull up or a straight leg push up, you know, like a normal push up. However you want to say that.
And it’s hard to do because it requires a lot of strength, and a lot of women just have never really had that kind of strength. Now there’s a lot of women that do have that kind of strength, which is amazing, but there’s some women that have not really developed that kind of strength, and to do a pull up requires a lot of upper body strength. So I started having this conversation with her, and she was like, This is my new goal. I really just want to be able to do one pull up. And I said, okay, I’ve worked with people on this before, so let’s talk about what you’re doing. And she’s doing a lot of the right things.
So one of the things I mentioned is probably the best thing you can be doing for this particular goal, to do a pull up, is work on lat pull downs. So that’s where you’re sitting at a machine where you’re sitting down, you kind of lock your knees in, and you grab a bar that’s straight above your head, and you pull that bar down to your chest. And the nice thing about this particular exercise is that you can adjust the weight so that you can actually pull it down. So you’re doing the exact same movement as a pull up, but you’re able to lower the weight so you’re not pulling your entire body weight. So let’s say you weigh 130 pounds. You know, you may only be able to pull down 60 pounds or something like that.
So if you’re just getting started with this, that is a really, really good place to start, because as you get stronger, you can begin to increase the weight that you’re pulling down. And you could go to 70 pounds, 80 pounds, 90 pounds, and that’s a really great progression in order to be able to pull up your own body weight. So the lat pull downs are a really great place to start.
Another thing you can do is, you can wrap a resistance band around the pull up bar, and then you step into that resistance band so that when you pull yourself up, it is taking some of that weight off of you. So you’re actually it’s going to pull you up, and the stronger the resistance band, the more weight that it’s actually pulling up. And I did this quite a bit when I was trying to learn how to do pull ups, when I was, you know, just building muscle and trying to get stronger, and had a hard time doing pull ups myself. I would, I was working out at this gym, and we would do these group classes, and we’d have to do pull ups, and I couldn’t do a pull up, you know, by myself. So I had to use the bands. So I step into the band, you know, you wrap the band around the bar, and then you step into it, and then it assists you up. Okay?
And they also have a machine that you can use that mimics the pull up, where you kneel on this machine and it and then you can adjust the weight. So anything like that is going to help you to get stronger. Again, the idea is that we’re working on this principle of progressive overload, where you’re going to overload your muscle groups, and as you overload those muscle groups, you’re going to have a positive adaptation, a positive response, and you’ll get stronger. And then the next time you do it, you should be able to do just a little bit more weight. And so that’s another thing that you can do if you’re interested in being able to do a pull up.
Another thing that she and I talked about was doing dead hangs. So that’s where you just hold on to the bar and let yourself hang. Now, this is a hard one for a lot of people, because they don’t have the grip strength, but it is one of the ways that you start to build that endurance. And you build, you got to have grip strength if you’re going to be able to do a pull up. So you need to build that grip strength. You’re building that forearm strength. You’re going to start building the bicep strength and the tricep strength, and, of course, the lat strength, and the shoulders, and things like that. So dead hangs is another great tool that you can use if you are interested in being able to do a pull up or increase the number of pull ups that you do.
Let’s see another thing that you can do if you’re interested in getting stronger in general, but especially if you’re trying to do something like a pull up or a push up for the first time, you’ve got to give your body what it needs in order to build muscle. So that means you got to increase your protein intake.
This is one area that she and I talked about where she’s doing all the other things I mentioned so far, but she wasn’t really, she doesn’t eat enough protein. She says, she totally admits, actually, I am probably not eating enough protein. I said, okay, well, let’s try to work on increasing the protein, because if you want to build muscle, you need the building blocks of muscle. So you need to give your body what it needs in order to turn that protein into muscle. So increase your protein intake. And a lot of people, especially runners, they don’t think about that correlation there. But if you want to get stronger and you want to get larger muscles or stronger muscles, you got to give your body what it needs in order to create those muscles, which is protein.
So a lot of runners don’t do enough strength training in general, and they don’t get enough protein in general. So if you make those two changes, right there, you start some sort of regular strength training routine, and you give yourself enough protein, you should be able to get stronger muscles so that you can actually do things like a pull up, okay? Okay, so these are just a few things that you can do if you’re interested in being able to do a pull up. And you might be thinking, what does this have to do with the shortcut to health and fitness success? Well, I’m getting to that. Okay, I’m taking a long way around to get there, but I’m, promise you, I’m going to get to that.
So she’s doing all these things, and she told me that it’s taking too long. And I just laughed, like I just did. And she said, well, how long is it supposed to take? And I said, listen, it’s gonna take whatever it takes. Everybody’s different. Everybody that I’ve worked with is at a different place with this. And sometimes you got to do this stuff for a long time. She’s been working on this for I don’t know the exact number, but I’m going to guess it’s just been a few weeks that she’s been doing these things. And a few weeks may not be enough time if you’re kind of starting from scratch.
So you’ve got to give yourself the time that is required in order to build that strength, and building stronger muscles takes time. So it’s not something you can do for a few weeks and expect to see, like, massive results, like, it’s gonna take a while. And the thing that kind of spurred me to want to talk about this today was that she wants it to go faster. She wants to know what the shortcut is. And the funny thing is, is that I told her, you’re doing the shortcuts, all the stuff that you’re doing, that is the shortcut. You know, if you want it to take longer, don’t do that stuff. You know, if you want it to go faster, keep doing what you’re doing like there really isn’t a shortcut in this particular instance to being able to do a pull up if you’re not able to do that.
I worked for a long time, I want to say, a few months, on getting to the place where I could do pull ups unassisted. You know, I used those bands. I wrapped the band around the top, stepped into it. I used that to pull myself up. And I was able to do that and keep lowering the, whatever you want to call it, the strength of the band. So I got to the really light bands, like the lightest ones that we had at the gym, super light, almost no resistance at all. And I could do those. And then I was able to do them without, but I could only do like one or two pull ups at a time. And, but then I, you know, got to the place where I could do seven to 10, you know, and, and today I can do like 10 or 12 pull ups at a time. And I have been working on that for a long time, you know.
But the thing is, if I had given up on myself, if I had just said, like, Oh, this is taking too long, why bother, then I never would have been able to get to that one pull up or 10 pull ups. And this is so true of so many things that we do in life that people will give up if it looks like it’s taking too long, which to me, is a really silly thing to do, because all these things we’re talking about today, not just doing a pull up or a push up, but being able to lose weight or being able to run faster, like if you want to run a faster marathon, that is not something that is going to be quick to achieve. You cannot run a faster marathon. You can’t get faster over that distance in just a few weeks, or even a few months.
Sometimes it takes a couple of years to get there. When I first started running, I remember my first marathon, actually had a pretty good time. It was under four hours, like 3:57:00 I think was my first marathon, and that was a pretty good time, but I wanted to do better. You know? I wanted to be closer to that 3:45:00 and so that was my goal for a long time, and I got a little bit closer, like I did a 3:55:00 and then I did a 3:50:00 like, a year later, and then I was able to do a 3:47:00 or something like that. And it just kept ticking down until, you know, it was probably six years. I mean, now that I’m thinking about it, yeah, it was six years after I ran my first marathon, when I had my marathon PR of 3:43:00, you know, which is nothing completely stellar, but for me, that was pretty amazing at the time and but it took a long time to get there.
You know, it’s not something that happens overnight, but if I had just given up on myself, I never would have got to that place, you know. So just understand that if you want something and it’s something that is important to you, it’s something that would be considered a big accomplishment, that it’s going to take time to get there, and that we have become this society of people who just, we thrive on instant gratification. We want everything right now, from being able to instantly download any bit of music or any movie we’ve ever wanted in our lives, we can just instantly watch it.
I was thinking about that today, because I thought about having to go get some music at the store, like, if you heard some music that you liked on the radio, if you if you heard a song that you loved on the radio, you could either, like, try to record that song off the radio, which was really hard to do, or what you could do is hear that song and then go to the music store, hope they had what you were looking for, and then buy that album, because you had to buy the whole album. Sometimes you could get a single, but usually you had to buy the whole album, and then to get home, and then open that thing up and take the plastic off and all that stuff, and then you could actually start listening to that song, but it was a process.
And now any song that has ever been created in the history of the world is instantly available to you. Any movie that has ever been made you can basically watch instantly on your phone, you know, so and then, you know, I’ve mentioned at the beginning of this episode things like, you know, ordering food. Or, you know, we can order food. We can just sit on our couch and have food delivered to us within an hour or so, or half an hour, or order something from Amazon and have it delivered sometimes within a couple of hours, you know, just about any item you can think of on the planet, and it’ll show up in your door within a day or two, you know, whatever.
But we’ve just become so used to instant gratification that anything that takes longer than a day or so or a few weeks just seems like, why bother? And we have to get out of this mentality. We have to start losing this mentality when it comes to things like our own health and fitness, because your health and fitness journey is something that you’re going to be on from now until the end of your life. If you do it right, it’s going to be something that you’re committed to forever.
And so if it’s something you’re committed to forever, it doesn’t matter that losing 30 pounds takes six months or a year. It doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you’re on that journey, and you’re doing something, and you’re moving in that direction every single day, even if it’s baby steps. You know my friend, it may take her three or four months to get to the place where she can do a pull up, or maybe six months, I don’t know, but I told her that it really doesn’t matter. She didn’t want to hear that. She just laughed and said, that is not the answer I was looking for. She wanted the shortcut. And the truth is, all those things that she’s doing is how you get there faster, like there isn’t really a true shortcut other than just doing all the little things that you can do each day.
You know, it’s kind of like running that faster marathon. You know, you got to do your speed work, and you got to do that a couple times a week. You might do a high interval session, high intensity interval session. One day, you might do a tempo run. Another day, you might have a couple of maintenance runs, then you have your long run on the weekend, and you got to rinse and repeat that over and over and over again. Same principle applies, though, that progressive overload, you overload your systems. You know, you overload your skeletal muscular system. You overload your cardiovascular system with these high intensity intervals. The next time you go for a run, your body has adapted positively to those stressors that you put on yourself, and you get a little bit faster, you get a little bit more efficient. Your heart rate improves a little bit. Your vo two Max goes up a little bit. That’s how you how you get better. That’s how you get faster. It takes a long time to get there, though, it is not something, there is no fast track. There is no next day delivery when it comes to your health and fitness. Okay?
So for my friend, she didn’t want to hear that, you know, that the shortcut was just doing all the things she’s already doing. She won the true shortcut. And when I told her there wasn’t one, she was a little bummed out about that. But I think she understands that. You know the thing is to never give up. The thing is that you just have to commit to this process, commit to the journey, and stay on that journey.
Now, I will say this, when it comes to having a shortcut to health and fitness success, there is something that you can do that will help you, and that is a true shortcut, and that is having a coach help you. And I’m not just saying that because I’m a coach or because I’m trying to get you to do coaching with me or anything like that, but a coach actually is a shortcut to your success, because they’ve already made all the mistakes, they’ve worked with hundreds of people, they know what works and what doesn’t work. You’ve got somebody there that can give you a step by step guide, which, when you’re trying to figure this stuff out for yourself, it’s, there’s so much information out there anymore that it’s very confusing, especially when it comes to things like your diet or getting stronger.
Like there’s so many different ways of doing this that having somebody there that’s in your corner, that’s got your back, that’s holding you accountable, that’s providing a step by step guide for you. Is really a pretty amazing shortcut, in my opinion. This is what helped me to become healthier, stronger, lose weight, like I had somebody just showing me what to do, and I just do what they said, like that, right? There is a true shortcut. Okay, it’s still going to take a while, but to keep that under in your mind, because it’s one of those things that you might have somebody guiding you and helping you through the process, but it’s still going to take whatever it takes.
Getting stronger is not a fast process. Getting faster is not a fast process. Losing weight is not a fast process, okay, it takes what it takes, and everybody’s different, and so we just have to accept all of that. We have to accept that, you know, we are, are committed to this lifestyle of being a healthy human being. We’re committed to this as a lifestyle. We’re not looking for short term fixes. We’re not looking for, you know, the fastest way to get there possible. What we’re looking for is what is going to work for us for the long term. What is going to keep us healthy, get us healthy first of all, and then keep us healthy for the rest of our lives. That’s what we’re really looking for here.
Okay, so you know, while I’ll say there really isn’t a shortcut. Having a coach is kind of like having the shortcut, right? It’s just a way to fast track your success as much as possible. So you’re going to get the benefits of having somebody that’s just done it all before and has that experience and that right there is the true power up. That is really the true shortcut to your health and fitness success. But at the same time, you have to just commit to the process, commit to the process of change. What am I doing today to better myself? What am I doing today to stay on my plan? What am I doing today? To be consistent? What am I doing today to get a little bit stronger? And you just have to keep doing these things over and over and over again and and you will see results. You will see progress.
If you don’t, then you got to do something different. You know, don’t keep doing the same things, expecting things to change for you, right? If it’s not working, try something else. But for my friend, who is, you know, working on doing a pull up, she’s doing all the right things, she just has to commit to this process and stay committed. She’ll get there. I know she’s going to get there when she does, I’ll let you guys know. I’ll ask her about it next time I see her, see how things are progressing, but I’ll try to keep you guys posted with her progress, because I think it’s pretty fun to watch.
Okay, that’s all I got for you today. I hope this has been helpful. If it has, feel free to share this with someone that you care about. It’s really all I got for you here. Love you all. Keep on Running Lean. I will talk to you soon.
254. How Do I Know If I’m Self-Sabotaging?
Just about all of us will eventually engage in some type of self-sabotaging behavior. Most of the time though, you don't know when you’re doing it. Self-sabotage is often confused with failure, …
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Podcast Transcript
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, sports nutritionist, Master life coach and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you, properly fuel your body and your mind so you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to Episode 254 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today, How Do I Know If I’m Self Sabotaging? So just about all of us will eventually engage in some type of self sabotaging behavior, eventually, most of the time, though, you probably don’t even know that you’re doing it. Self Sabotage is often confused with failure, with feeling stuck, or maybe even just laziness. It’s actually pretty subtle sometimes, but knowing what it looks like is an important first step in eliminating self sabotage from your life. So in this episode, I’m gonna answer this question, how do I know if I’m self sabotaging so that you can start making progress towards your goals again.
But first, if you’ve ever considered coaching, now is an amazing time to get started for most of us. This is the off season. This is the perfect time to get started with a new diet plan, with a new strength regimen with a renewed love for running and a new running plan if you’re interested in getting leaner, getting stronger, running faster, running longer. Now is a perfect time to get started with that. Coaching is going to give you all the guidance, the knowledge, the direction, the feedback, the support, the accountability that you need to reach your goals. Like I said, it’s a great time to get started, because we are in the off season. Once your training starts in January, then it’s kind of it’s not too late to get started, but you definitely want to have a good leg up on your nutrition plan and your strength plan and your running plan before we start with our marathon, half marathon training in January. So just know that this is a great time to get started. And if you’ve been putting this off, consider coaching. Now. All you got to do is go to my website, runningleancoaching.com, and then click on work with me. When you click on that link, you’re gonna fill out this short little application. She’s got a couple questions on there, and then you and I will get on a zoom call, and we’ll have a conversation. You get to talk to me live. I don’t have anybody else doing this for me. You and I will have a conversation, and we’ll talk about what it would look like, what coaching would look like for you, and how we can get you to those goals, like, what are the different areas we need to work on and what this might look like for you. It doesn’t cost anything to get on this call with me. It’s completely free. I love doing this. I do it all the time. You’re not going to waste anybody’s time. You’ll get something out of the call too. So just go to my website, runningleancoaching.com, click on work with me, and let’s get on a call. We’ll have a conversation about coaching. Cool.
Okay, so this topic is an interesting one, because I had a client recently ask me, like, how do I know if I’m self sabotaging? How do I know that it’s self sabotage, that I’m doing this to myself versus just failing at something, you know? And I thought it was a really good question, and it got me really thinking that, you know, not only could she benefit from us having this conversation, but I think everybody else can too, because I think we all, at some point in our lives, engage in some sort of self sabotaging behavior. I want to, I’m hoping by the end of this episode, that you understand what self sabotaging looks like, so that you can make better decisions and make better choices and start making progress towards your goals.
So self sabotage is one of these things that you might have a goal like to lose weight or to run faster, and you’re making some progress towards that goal. You’re trying to eat healthy, you know, you’re trying to do your speed work. You’re trying to run five days a week. And then the self sabotaging behavior is doing things for that progress. It’s doing things like eating a bunch of cake for dinner when you’re supposed to be eating chicken and broccoli. That’s called self sabotage, because you’re doing something that is not in alignment with your long term goals.
Now there’s a couple of definitions. If you look up the definition of self sabotage, and I’ll read a couple of these definitions, because I think it’s kind of interesting. Self Sabotage refers to behaviors or thought patterns that hold you back and prevent you from doing what you want to do. Self Sabotage is when you consciously or unconsciously undermine your thoughts, dreams, goals and desires. So self sabotage is essentially patterns of thoughts, patterns of behaviors that hold you back, keep you stuck or prevent you from reaching your goals.
And I’m going to kind of distill this down into this, any action that you’re taking that is not in alignment with your goals is self sabotage. Taking action that goes against a desired outcome is self sabotage. Doing things or not doing things that thwarts your progress is self sabotage. Now the difference between self sabotage and just pure failing is that failing is different.
Failing is just trying something that didn’t work. Back in the day, I used an app to track my food to try to lose weight, like I was tracking my macros, my calories, my protein, my fats, carbs, all this stuff. And I did this for like, a year, and I tried, and I did, I would. I was very diligent with this, and I tried this with my whole heart, like I put everything into it, and for a year, and I didn’t lose any weight, you know, it just, it didn’t work. So that’s a failure. You know, I wasn’t doing something that was not in alignment with my goals. I was actually doing something that I thought would help with with my goals, would help me get there.
A lot of people were telling me, oh, you need to track all your food. You need to track all your calories. That’s how you lose weight. Well, guess what? It didn’t work for me. So that’s a failure, where you try something and it doesn’t work, you know? You may have tried to run a faster marathon, like you’re trying to PR your marathon, and you did all the speed work, you did everything you wanted to do, and then the day came and you just didn’t have it, you know. And maybe there’s all kinds of reasons you can come up with, but you just fell short. That’s a failure. You tried something, you put in the work, you did everything you thought you could do, and it didn’t work for you. So that is just pure and simple, a failure.
All right, hopefully we learn from these failures. You know, I learned something from my food tracking experiment that didn’t work for me, so I tried something else. But these things are not self sabotage because they’re not going against your long term goals. You’re actually engaging in behavior that you think is going to help you, that you think is actually going to help you to achieve those things, but it doesn’t work. And this is cool, because that’s part of the process of trying something. When you change your diet and you want to lose weight, you’re going to try some things that may or may not work for you. You’re gonna eat some foods that don’t agree with you. Or you’re gonna, you know, track your food or not track your food. You’re going to, you know, try low carb or, you know, high fat or whatever it is. And some of these things work for people, and some of them don’t like there’s no such thing as the perfect diet that’s going to work for everybody.
So there’s a little bit of trial and error there. There’s a little bit of, you know, I’m going to try something and possibly fail, and it’s okay if you fail. Failure is part of the process. You know, it’s just, you’re learning things that don’t work for you. So that is not self sabotage, that is just trying something that didn’t work. Okay? So that’s what failure is.
Self Sabotage is different. Self Sabotage is when you’re doing things, you’re taking action or not taking action. So it’s either action or inaction that goes against what you really want for yourself. So it’s eating ice cream every day. When you want to lose 30 pounds, eating the ice cream is not in alignment with your goal like and I think we can all agree on that, that if you want to lose some weight, then maybe just skip the ice cream for a while, because eating the ice cream constantly is just going to keep your body storing that fat, and it’s, you’re not going to lose the weight if you keep doing that, for the most part, if you could eat ice cream and lose weight, that’s amazing. Keep doing that.
Let’s say you want to run a faster marathon, half marathon, whatever, and you’re just avoiding all the speed work because you don’t like it, because it’s uncomfortable, because it’s hard, because it sucks. Okay, that could be a form of self sabotage, because you’re not doing something that you need to do in order to accomplish this goal. So when you decide, I’m not going to do the speed work, then that’s something that is not in alignment with your goal of running your fastest half marathon, Marathon, 5k whatever it is.
So if you really want to know if what you’re doing is self sabotage, the first thing you need to ask yourself is, are these things I’m doing or not doing? Are these things in alignment with my long term goals? So how do you know if you’re self sabotaging? That’s the first way. Is just like, is this action that I’m taking moving me close? Closer to my goal or further away. If what I’m doing has the ability to move me closer to my goal, like doing the speed work, if you do the speed work, you should get faster if you’re doing it properly. So it’s an action that should move you towards your goal. Now, whether it does or not, that’s a whole ‘nother story.
But taking the action that’s supposed to move you towards that goal, if you if you do that regularly, you should see those results. So that should move you closer to that goal of running a faster half or full, if you’re taking action that moves you further away from that goal, like not doing the speed work, like I’m just going to run slow for the next four months. Okay, that’s probably not going to get you faster. I think we can all agree that that would be a form of self sabotage.
Okay, so just understand that one way of knowing whether or not what you’re doing or not doing is self sabotage, is this thing in alignment with what I really want for myself? Is this moving me further closer to my goal or further away from my goal?
Another way to know if what you’re doing is self sabotaging is think about where you are putting the blame. So a lot of people will do things or not do things, and they will not take personal responsibility for their behavior. So instead of owning everything that they do and owning all of their results, whether they are good or bad, they blame everything outside of themselves. Okay, so there’s there’s reasons, there’s excuses, there’s stories as to why they can’t get the results that they want.
You know, it’s like saying, you know, I couldn’t, you know, stick to my food plan because I was on a work trip, or, you know, I was really stressed out last week, or, you know, it’s football season, where my parents were visiting, or I was sick, or life’s just been crazy these last few months. Really, okay, that’s, I’m sorry to hear that, but these are just excuses. They’re things that are, that are a lot of times, you know, kind of out of your control. They’re outside of you. They really don’t have any bearing on the food that you put in your mouth. Okay, very, very, very, few times in our lives, do we not have a choice on what we put in our mouth? A lot of times you can just choose not to eat something, you know, but, but we don’t. We say, oh, it was the only option that I had available. Oh, I was on this trip. Oh, I was, you know, really stressed out. Or, you know, we were watching the game, and we had, you know, people over watching the football game, and all these things are just excuses as to why you didn’t stick to your plan.
And so when you start blaming anything outside of yourself for what you’re getting or not getting, then that is a form of self sabotage, because you’re not, you’re not taking personal responsibility. You’re blaming anything but yourself for your results or lack of results. Once you start taking radical responsibility, and I mean owning everything, every decision you make, every result that you get or don’t get, then you can begin to stop that self sabotaging.
So another way that we sell sabotage is just blaming other people, having excuses, stories, reasons why we can’t do what we want to do, or why we can’t stick to our plan, why we can’t do our speed work, why we can’t train for that marathon, whatever. So just be mindful of this, that once you start saying, you know, I couldn’t do this because of XYZ, what are those reasons? And are they outside of you? And if they are outside of you, you’re probably engaging in some sort of self sabotaging behavior another way, and this one is kind of subtle.
But another way that a lot of people self sabotage is they put things off. They don’t start something. They procrastinate. Because when you put something off, when you procrastinate, you’re basically taking the easy way out. You know, because when you have to start something like, let’s say, you want to lose weight, and in order to lose weight, you know you have to change your diet. So eating a healthy diet, or maybe, like training for a marathon, this stuff is hard, it is uncomfortable. So instead of actually starting that hard, uncomfortable thing, what you’re doing is saying, You know what, I’m going to start tomorrow, or I’m going to start next month, or I’m going to wait till after the holidays, and all of that is just you avoiding the discomfort of change.
If you constantly put something off until later, you never have to change your behavior. You never have to get out of your comfort zone. You never have to learn new habits or break old ones, and you never have to worry about failing, because failing is hard. It feels terrible, so if you never start, you never have to worry about failing.
So most self sabotaging behavior, and even the stuff I’ve been talking about so far, is just your brain trying to stay safe and comfortable. Your brain is programmed to seek pleasure and avoid pain, seek comfort and avoid discomfort, do what’s familiar and avoid anything unfamiliar. You’re programmed to stay in your comfort zone. When you self sabotage, it’s just your brain trying to avoid anything unsafe, anything unfamiliar, anything uncomfortable.
But when you stay in your comfort zone. What happens? Do you grow? No, do you change? No? Do you level up? No? Do you evolve? Do you become more; do you accomplish all those things that you want? No, because growth happens outside of your comfort zone. That means that if you want to grow, if you want to change, if you want to run faster, if you want to lose weight, if you want to be become the most badass version of yourself, it is going to require you to get uncomfortable, and if you constantly avoid discomfort, that is a classic form of self sabotaging, almost all self sabotaging behavior is you avoiding the uncomfortable.
So when you’re doing things that aren’t alignment with your long term goals, what you’re doing is you’re just staying comfortable because doing those things are hard, when you blame other people, or, yeah, blame other people, or other things, situations outside of yourself, for not getting the results that you want. This is easier. It’s comfortable because you can’t do anything about it. You’re just a victim here. So you can stay small and you can stay comfortable. You can stay in your comfort zone, putting things off until later. Oh, I’m not going to do that now. I’ll wait till later. Then you never have to start anything. You never have to embrace the discomfort. You can stay in your cozy little blanket called your comfort zone.
When you do that, though, you don’t level up. I’m just telling you if there’s things that you want for yourself, if you want to lose weight, if you want to run faster, if you want to train for and run a marathon. This is not something that is easy to do. Is going to require a few months of discomfort. You know, there’s going to be a few months of like, long runs, running in the cold, especially when we train in the winter, running in the snow, running in the rain, whatever, you’re going to have to level yourself up. You’re going to have to go outside and run when you don’t feel like it. You’re going to have to stick to a running plan, even though you don’t feel like it, even though it’s hard, even though it’s uncomfortable. What’s the reward? The reward is you ran a marathon. You did something that seemed impossible for you, you evolved. You became more. You know that’s what you want to be focusing on. So stop staying comfortable. Stop seeking comfort.
Here’s your homework for this week, so to speak. I want you to take a look at these different areas of your life, especially when it comes to your health and fitness. What are you doing or not doing? And are these things you’re doing or not doing? Are they in alignment with your goals. If they’re not, how are you seeking comfort in these situations, or how are you avoiding discomfort? So start really thinking about that with everything that you do, how you approach your your strength training, how you approach running, how you approach your diet. Is it something that is in alignment with your goals or not? If you find yourself constantly doing things that sabotage your own success, you may want to look at how you are avoiding discomfort in these different areas.
Okay, then ask yourself, how can I start embracing the discomfort. How can I start leaning into the discomfort so that I can stop this self sabotaging behavior and actually make progress towards those goals?
Okay, that’s your homework for this week. Look at what you’re doing. See where you’re avoiding discomfort and just trying to stay safe and comfortable. And then I want to encourage you to get out of your comfort zone. That’s the only way you’re going to become more and level up. Cool.
All right, that’s all I got for you today. Love you all. Keep on Running Lean and I will talk to you soon.
252. Practicing the Art of Discipline
When you think of discipline, what comes to mind? For some, it conjures up images of obeying rules and doling out punishment for anyone who disobeys. But when I think of discipline I think of …
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250. 3 Things You Need to Do to Get Yourself Unstuck
Have you ever felt like you just can’t seem to make any progress toward a goal? Have you ever found it difficult to get started eating right or exercising regularly? Have you ever made some …
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Podcast Transcript
My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, sports nutritionist, Master life coach and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve dedicated my life to helping runners just like you, properly fuel your body and your mind so you can get leaner, get stronger, run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.
Hey there, and welcome to episode 250 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners and today, Three Things You Need To Do To Get Yourself Unstuck. So have you ever felt like you just can’t seem to make progress towards a goal? Have you ever found it difficult to get started eating the right way or exercising regularly? Or have you ever made some progress towards a goal, but then you hit a plateau and you just can’t seem to get things going again? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then congratulations, you are normal. It also means that you’ve probably felt stuck at some point in your life and found it difficult to get unstuck. So in this episode, I’ve got three things you need to do to get yourself unstuck so that you can continue making progress toward your goals.
But first, if you’re looking for some help reaching your goals, if you have certain health and fitness goals that you’re trying to accomplish by the end of the year, we’ve got a couple of months until the end of this year, plenty of time to get started and make a lot of progress towards those goals. Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to improve your running? Do you want to be able to run faster, run longer? Do you want to get stronger? Do you want to build a stronger frame to help you with running? Do you want to improve your running? Well, getting stronger is one of the ways you can do that. All these things are possible for you, and if you want a little bit of help getting there, absolutely think about getting a coach. And if it’s me, great. If it’s somebody else, that’s fine too. But with a coach, you get guidance, you get direction, you get feedback, you get support, you get accountability, you get motivation, you get encouragement. All these things that you get from a coach will help you to stay on track and keep making progress towards your goals. Today we’re talking about being stuck and getting yourself unstuck. Having a coach is one of the best ways to avoid getting stuck in the first place. So if you’re interested in getting a little bit of help making sure that you never have to worry about being stuck, just go to my website, running leancoaching.com, click on work with me. You and I will have a conversation, and we can talk about exactly what it would look like for you to become the most badass version of yourself yet, go to runningleancoaching.com, click on work with me. Awesome.
Okay, so today, three things you need to do to get yourself unstuck. I’ve been thinking about this today because I hear from a lot of people in my day to day life, some people I work with, not too often, though, because with a coach, you know, a lot of the people I work with, they don’t ever really get stuck, but maybe people that are interested in coaching that I talk to, they tell me that they feel stuck. They’ve tried to lose weight, and it worked for a certain amount of time, and then it stopped working, and now they’re stuck. They don’t know what to do, or they’ve wanted to lose weight for a long time, and they’ve been stuck at this weight forever, and they just can’t seem to get things moving. Or maybe they are interested in running a marathon or something like that, and they have tried to get started with that, and it just hasn’t worked. Or they have, you know, made some progress, but they can’t get past a 5k without feeling like they’re gonna die, and so they just feel stuck. We’ve all felt this way before.
I kind of mentioned that in the intro here, that if you’ve ever felt stuck before in your life, it’s very normal. This is very normal. But I want you to think about this as I’m going through some of the stuff I’m talking about here today, which is that being stuck is really just a mindset. It’s a state of mind. It’s not real. You’re never really stuck. You’re just acting like you are. I know this might be hard for some of you to hear, but I want you to really be open to this and just listen today with this concept in mind that being stuck is just a state of mind. It’s not real. You’re acting like you’re stuck, but you’re not really stuck.
Because here’s the thing, it’s easier to just say I’m stuck than to take the uncomfortable action of getting yourself unstuck, and that’s exactly what we’re going to be talking about here today, is that uncomfortable action of getting yourself unstuck. But just keep in mind that there is no such thing as being stuck. It’s just a state of mind that you are in.
Okay, so number one, the first thing you need to do to get yourself unstuck if you’re feeling stuck, is to stop procrastinating. Now you might think I don’t really procrastinate, but we all procrastinate. Everybody procrastinates to some level, to some degree, some more than others, some in different areas of their life. We all know that there are things that we should be doing or want to be doing, and we’re not doing those things, or we’re putting them off. We’re saying to ourselves, or telling us this ourselves, this story, that I will do it tomorrow. That’s classic procrastination, right? So why? Why are we sort of addicted to procrastination? What is this thing about procrastination?
Well, when you need to do something that’s tough, like, you know, changing your diet or going outside to run and it’s cold out, just thinking about these things brings up resistance. You know, resistance is a word that describes all the pain and the discomfort that shows up whenever you do hard things. So this is why a lot of times people will do anything, but that one thing that feels hard, you know. So there a lot of times people will, instead of going outside and running, it’s cold outside, people don’t want to go outside and run. So what they’ll do is they will start cleaning the house. When they’re telling themselves, oh, well, I’m just, I’m just cleaning the house. But cleaning the house is just something you’ve done a million times. It’s safe, it’s comfortable, it’s familiar. And then at the end of, you know, the 30 minutes, or however long it takes you to clean the kitchen, or whatever it is, you’ve got a clean house. So you have this instant result. You can look and say, oh, I did something, I accomplished something. But when you have to go outside and run in the cold, it’s hard, it’s uncomfortable, it’s painful, it feels unsafe, it’s unfamiliar, and the results come much later.
You know, running is amazing for you, like, it’s so good for your health, but you don’t get all the health benefits. You do get some right away, but for the most part, they come later. You know, let’s say you’re trying to improve your your running time. Well, you’re not going to go out and go from a four hour marathon to a three and a half hour marathon in one run. It’s going to take you a long time to get there. So instead of going out there and doing those hard things, we do something that feels safe and comfortable and familiar, which is to, just like, clean the house, and we’re telling ourselves a story, well, at least I’m doing something productive or whatever. But at the same time, there’s something you want to be doing, but you’re not doing it, and it’s that resistance that’s coming up. So instead of, you know, running, instead of changing your diet, starting to eat healthy food, you stay in bed, you flop out on the couch, you clean the house, whatever you’re going to do where there is not going to be any resistance.
So step number one in getting yourself unstuck is to recognize that we all have this kind of addiction to procrastination. Obviously, some people, more than others, in some areas, more than others. So recognize that we have this propensity towards procrastination and to stop doing that. The key to stopping procrastination is really getting into action. You have to do something. You have to take an action that moves you towards that goal. It doesn’t have to be a huge step. It could be just one tiny little thing to get you moving in the direction of that goal, even just a tiny little bit.
So what’s the tiniest thing you can do that’s going to get you into movement? So maybe you don’t feel like running and you’re procrastinating go out, going outside and running, because it’s cold out, and it is getting cold out, by the way, and I hate running in the cold, so there’s lots of days where I will procrastinate running, you know, I’ll sit there and I’ll be, you know, doing some work, and I’ll be inside and it’s warm, and I’ll be like, well, I’m doing work, you know, I’m doing some work, I’m doing emails or whatever it is, and I’m the whole time. I’m like, I should really be out there running.
So what is one thing you can do? Well, put your running shoes on, you don’t even have to go outside. Just get into that routine. Just start, start the process. Just put the running shoes on your feet, and then see what happens. If you don’t feel like starting a whole new eating plan and eating healthy and all this other stuff. Okay, sit on the couch and give yourself 10 minutes and just like, write a grocery list of some things that would be healthier choices for you. You know, if you don’t feel like going to the gym again, sit on the couch, write down three exercises that you can do when you go to the gym. Chances are, just by doing these tiny little things that are almost so easy you can’t do them, that you are going to break out of that stuck feeling, and you’re going to, you’re going to take the next right action.
So what’s the next action you can do after you put your running shoes on? Maybe you get your Garmin watch, and you put it on, or your running shirt, or your shorts or something like that. Maybe, you know, after making that grocery list, you know, start getting your bags ready and to put in the car, you know. Maybe you know you don’t feel like going to the gym, but you’ve written down a few exercises that you can do, and then you start, you know, packing your gym bag. You know, these are just little, tiny steps, but they absolutely help you to stop the procrastinating, stop feeling stuck, and to actually get into movement. So movement is really going to be the key to getting stuck in general, but to stop procrastinating in particular. Okay, so that’s number one. Stop procrastinating.
The second thing that you need to do if you want to get yourself unstuck is to really define your purpose. A lot of times you’re feeling stuck because you don’t have a sense of purpose. So many people say that the number one reason that they are unhappy in their life, especially as they get older in life, is because they lack purpose in their life.
So what is purpose? Well, purpose is really anything you want it to be. It can be whatever you decide that it is for you, your purpose should be something though, that drives you forward. It should be one of these things that when you think about your purpose, that it helps you to get out of bed on those cold mornings and get outside and run. Your purpose doesn’t have to be something huge, like, oh, I have to save the world. You’re not Frodo. Okay? So it can be something small, but it has to be something that is meaningful to you. Has to be something that is important to you. And having this, like, strong sense of purpose helps to keep you going when the going gets tough, and the going always gets tough, right?
So think of your purpose as your North Star. So this is the thing that’s out there. It’s actually within you. But I’m just kind of pointing out there as like, that’s something that’s always guiding you forward. It’s always moving you in the direction of your goals, your hopes, your dreams. I have a purpose. My purpose is very simple. It’s a little statement that I wrote out, and I think about it all the time. I have it written down in lots of places, and it is this, here’s my purpose. It is to be an example of what’s possible and to inspire others to do the same. That’s it, to be an example of what’s possible and to inspire others to do the same. This purpose gets me out of bed in the morning. This purpose helps me to either never get stuck or never stay stuck for very long.
And your purpose needs to be something that is personal to you, it should be something that feels bigger than you, and it should evoke some sort of emotion when you read it or you say it or think about it. So it has to make you feel something, because when you feel something deep inside, when you think about your purpose, then you know you’ve got it. So take some time to define your purpose, like, why is losing this weight important to you? How is this going to affect other people in your life? Why is it important for you to be strong? Why is it important for you to run that marathon? And then, what is the ripple effect that these things are going to have on the people in your life, especially the important people in your life.
So step two in getting yourself unstuck is to clearly define your purpose. And this doesn’t mean just think about it, I want you to write it down, print it out, paste it on your computer, on your mirror in your bathroom. Look at it every day. It even helps if you write it out every day. So maybe you do some journaling. You can, you know, at the top of every journal page, write out your purpose statement. Write it every day. Look at it every day. Say it out loud, see it, say it, feel it. But that’s the most important part, is that when you see this or say you should feel something, so having the strong sense of purpose is going to keep you from getting stuck, and it’s going to help you to get unstuck when you feel like you’re stuck.
Okay. Number three, we’ve kind of been dancing around this one a little bit, but I’m going to take a deep dive into this. Number three is to embrace the suck. If you’re feeling stuck, right, you got to know it’s a mental construct that you created in your own mind, first of all, and knowing that you’re never really stuck, acts will help you to get into action. So it actually helps you to get into action just knowing that that it’s just a mental construct. But sometimes you just have to accept the fact that action is uncomfortable. Doing hard things, by definition is hard, losing weight is hard, running a marathon is hard, getting stronger is hard.
If these things were easy, everybody would do it. People don’t do these things. Like less than 1% of the US population has ever run a marathon, like you are in an elite category, if that’s you. Losing weight is very difficult. So many people just don’t do it. And all these things are hard because they’re uncomfortable, they’re painful. They’re unfamiliar to you, and your brain is hardwired to avoid pain and seek pleasure. Your brain is hardwired to avoid discomfort and seek comfort. It’s hardwired to avoid unfamiliar things and seek the familiar things.
So your brain is just a comfort, familiar, pleasure, seeking creature, and most things you want to accomplish in life unfortunately require you to experience some sort of pain or discomfort or something unfamiliar. Again, all these things that you want for yourself, if you don’t already have them, then they lie outside your comfort zone. So by nature, to accomplish things you’ve never accomplished before, it means you have to get out of your comfort zone. You have to get uncomfortable. You have to embrace the discomfort, embrace the suck.
If you want to lose weight, you have to go through the pain of sugar withdrawals. You have to go through the discomfort of eating chicken and broccoli when there’s pizza right there. And you have to go through that unfamiliarity of doing things eating foods that you’re not used to eating because you’ve been eating a different way. And so to your brain, none of this feels good. It all feels unsafe, unfamiliar, uncomfortable, painful to your brain, even though, in the long run, you know that this is what’s best for you. This is what’s best for your health, for your happiness, for your survival as a human being, all of the results of eating healthy and losing weight are positive, but to your brain, it’s all a big warning sign danger. Get out now, stop everything. And we call this being stuck.
The way to get yourself unstuck then is to accept that all of this is normal. It’s actually how you get to your goals, all that pain, the discomfort, the unfamiliar stuff, it’s all just part of what it takes for you to get there. It’s like the path that you have to take. It’s the cost of success. Discomfort is the cost of success. You want to lose weight, you want to run a marathon, the price you pay is getting uncomfortable. But you know what? We don’t want to feel any of those bad things. So instead, we do nothing a lot of times, and we stay in that stuck place.
So but remember what I said earlier, being stuck isn’t real. So the next time you think you’re stuck, do this instead of saying, oh, I’m stuck, say I am unwilling to get uncomfortable in this moment, instead of saying, I’m stuck, say, what do I need to do to embrace the suck today and then go do that thing? Okay, so those are your three things that you need to do to get yourself unstuck, stop procrastinating, define your purpose and then embrace the suck.
Okay, that’s all I got for you today. Love you all. Keep on Running Lean and I will talk to you soon.