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Running Lean with Patrick McGilvray

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38. Stop Arguing for Your Limitations

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There are basically two ways to approach any challenge. One way is to focus on all the reasons why you can’t do it. The other way is to focus on all the reasons why you can. I find it …

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Podcast Transcript

My name is Patrick McGilvray. And I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve learned that running more and eating less does not work for weight loss, and that there’s a better way. Now I help runners like you to get leaner and get stronger, so you can run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.

Hey there, and welcome to episode number 38 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray, the weight loss coach for runners. And today I’m going to be talking about why we need to stop arguing for our limitations. There are basically two ways to approach any challenge. One way that some people do it is to focus on all the reasons why you can’t do it. The other way is to focus on all the reasons why you can.

And I find it interesting that so many people choose option one, when they’re facing something challenging in their life. They spend a lot of time and a lot of energy focusing on all the reasons why they can’t do it. So today, I want to talk about why we do this, why we argue for our limitations, and how this kind of thinking is just keeping us stuck. And I do offer some suggestions on what we can do instead.

But first, if you like this podcast, please come check us out on Facebook, though – Running Lean community on Facebook, you can just search for those words, and you’ll find us. This is a positive, energetic, informative, fun group of like-minded runners just like you that share common goals like losing weight, living a vibrant life, becoming super healthy, running, making running easier.

I host a weekly live trainings in there on things like intermittent fasting, which we’re focusing on this month. Running, nutrition, weight loss, exercise, physiology, all kinds of stuff. Here’s a recent comment from one of our community members, Amy.

Amy says, “I ran a virtual 10k this morning, although it was hot and steamy, I felt great. I didn’t have to eat anything before the run, or even feel like I needed anything to fuel with but water. Thank you, Patrick and the rest of the group for the motivation and helping me change my mindset and my body these last eight weeks.”

That is awesome. Thank you, Amy. Amy’s a great example of the kind of positive, motivated people we have over in the Running Lean community on Facebook. And this month, we’ve got this intermittent fasting challenge going on right now. Intermittent Fasting is just practicing some periods of the day where you just don’t eat anything.

You can call it time restricted eating or meal spacing. But basically, you know, we talk about how to do it safely, how to incorporate this into your running, why we would want to incorporate this into our running. There’s a lot of amazing health benefits, by the way. So just check us out, come and see what it’s all about the Running Lean community on Facebook, and figuring out all this stuff.

How do we do time restricted eating? How do I lose weight and continue running? How do I make running stronger? How do I become a fat adapted runner? All these things take some time to figure out. They take awareness, they take knowledge and they take some support, so that you can create this kind of lasting change in your life.

Listen, this is not about a diet, diets are temporary, right? What I help people do, through my coaching practice, is help people create new habits. And it takes about 90 days to create a new habit. So most of the coaching I do with people is a three month or 90 Day Program. And what you get with that is the knowledge, awareness and support that you need.

So that you can accomplish those goals so that you can create the habits that you need to change your lifestyle to change your relationship with the we’re all different. We all have different dietary needs, what works for one person may not work for somebody else. You know, if one thing worked for everybody, I could just create a PDF and give it to all you guys and be like here just do this, but it doesn’t work that way you need to figure out what works for you.

So together you and I will figure out exactly what will work for you. It takes a little bit of trial and error, but eventually we get it right. I want you to make big changes in your life. I want you to get off of the carbohydrate addiction, I want you to reap all the amazing benefits of becoming a fat adapted runner.

If you’re interested in this, cool, check it out, just go to innerfiretribe.com/weightlosscoaching, that’s one word, and apply for coaching with me, we’ll get on the phone, we’ll have a little conversation, we’ll get on a Zoom call. And we’ll have a quick little conversation and see if this is a good fit for both of us. Cool.

Alright, let’s get into this topic today. So the topic today is, I titled this stop arguing for your limitations. And I have to tell you a little warning before we get started here that I’m doling out a little tough love today. I think this is an important message for all of us to hear. And listen, I need to hear this too. I’m not exempt from this message either.

So part of me talking about this is to remind myself that I need to stop arguing for my limitations too, because I do it sometimes, too. But I’m hoping this message resonates with you. I wrote a short post about this earlier in the week, and shared it on social media, and I think it touched a nerve for a few people.

And so I thought you know, I think I need to do a little deeper dive into this. Because a few people said, you know, oh, that was tough to hear, but I needed to hear it. So I’m hoping this resonates with you guys. So here’s what I’m seeing, I hear you guys tell me things like I want to do something big. I want I want to accomplish this big goal, I have this, this big dream or goal, you know, I want to lose 50 pounds, I’ve struggled for so long with this weight, I really want to lose this weight, or I want to run a full marathon, I really want to do that.

And so, you know, you say you’re all in, you want this with every bit of your soul, you’re like, I’m so focused on this goal, I’m gonna do it. You might have a plan, you start working the plan. But then you know, stuff starts to happen. Maybe you wake up in the morning, and then the weather’s not awesome, it’s raining outside, and you’re just like, I don’t really don’t feel like running today.

Or maybe you just get tired or maybe stuff like your job is stressing you out. You know, your kids are driving you crazy. Or the one that I love, you know, well COVID hit and so you know what that means as if like it was some hurricane that you know, knocked your house down or something.

But here’s what’s happening, we have all these external things that happen in our life. You know, we get an extra workload at work, you know, our boss is demanding more of us or, you know, the kids are being, they’re doing school from home, they’re doing like remote schooling, or the husband doesn’t help as much as he should be, according to you.

And you have all these external things happening. And instead of just forging on, you use these external things, as an excuse to give up to quit, you use these excuses to give up on these big goals and dreams that you said you are all in on. You wanted more than anything else. And you just use his excuse to quit.

You know, you say, I can’t focus on my health because you know, my kids are our home and they’re doing school from home now. So there’s no longer I can’t focus on my health anymore. What, really? Or I was doing fine, not eating sugar and carbs. But then I had this really stressful day at work. And, you know, my boss gave me a bunch of extra work. So I needed to eat a whole pizza and a half gallon of ice cream at one sitting.

If you’ve done that before, it’s fine. You’re normal. I’ve done that before. Or you’re just like, you know, this is just hard. It’s really hard. Training for a marathon is hard. Or losing weight is hard. So I just, that’s why I can’t do it. By the way, all this stuff I’m talking about here, this stuff is just life.

Stuff happens all the time. Life’s not supposed to be some carefree, happy existence. You know, flowers, daisies, unicorns, rainbows, it’s not like that. It’s more like 50/50 – half the time you feel pretty good. Half the time you feel not so good. That’s okay. You can either just accept this fact, or you can just fight against it with everything you’ve got.

And when you accept it, when you accept that you won’t feel happy all the time. Honestly, there’s a lot of freedom in that. What happens is we get ourselves into trouble when we have this belief. And we hold on to this belief very tightly that we have to feel happy all the time.

And I got news for you, that’s just never going to happen. This is you fighting against reality. And I see it all the time. I see it every single day. Well, I just want to feel better. Guess what, you’re not always going to feel good. And that’s okay. The inner turmoil that you feel is mostly caused by resisting these negative emotions, quote, unquote, negative emotions, unwanted emotions, like stress, like anger, like fear, like sadness.

All these emotions, we feel are just part of the human experience. We’re humans, we get to feel all kinds of amazing emotions, some of them are pretty amazing. Some of them feel so good. And some of them not so much. But to be human means we feel all these emotions. And we have to accept this fact, we will feel some positive and some negative emotion, some wanted emotions and some unwanted emotions, and it’s all good.

Life is 50/50 – be willing to accept all of it. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to agree with it. You don’t have to accept it and say, well, that’s just the way it is. I can’t do anything about it. No. It’s like I tell my weight loss clients all the time, I’m like, you have to love yourself exactly as you are right now. Look in the mirror and love yourself exactly as you are every bit of your body.

You can’t hate yourself and expect to lose weight, I always say can’t hate yourself thin, you got to love yourself exactly as you are. And you can work to change that. But you have to accept what is. It’s when we resist what is when we resist and reject that half of our existence that we quote unquote, don’t like or, you know, don’t think is normal.

That’s what causes us the internal pain and the agony, we resist and reject any kind of unwanted emotion. Okay, that was a little a little tangent, I went off on there. But I just need you to understand that there are external circumstances that are going to happen in our lives. And those things are neither good nor bad, really, I’ll talk about that more in just a second.

But understand that you may feel some stress, you may feel some anger, you may feel some fear. And it’s okay. Don’t push it away. Don’t push it away, just accept it all. I love this quote from Henry Ford. He said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” This is perfect for what I’m talking about here today.

So like I said, at the beginning, there are basically two ways we can approach a challenge. So we have something challenging in our life, we want to lose a bunch of weight, we want to run a marathon, we can focus on why we can’t do it. Or we can focus on why we can do it. Let’s talk about these.

When you focus on why you can’t do something, here’s what happens. You find all sorts of excuses, all sorts of reasons you have stories you want to tell me about why this isn’t going to work for you want to lose weight, but stuff happened at work, you know, my husband doesn’t help as much as he should. The kids are screaming in the background.

And in your mind, these are all valid excuses. They are valid reasons why you can’t do this thing. Why you can’t stay on your protocol, why you can’t train for your marathon. But let’s look at this. Let’s look at how this works. Because here’s the thing, these are all just stories that you’re telling yourself. These are all just stories, you’re believing you’re choosing them, and you’re choosing to believe them.

So let’s look at how this works. You got stuff happening at work, the husband’s not helping the kids are demanding stuff from you. These are what we call circumstances. Circumstances in our lives are always neutral. The circumstances in our lives are facts. They don’t hold any meaning on their own. They only mean something after we have a thought about the circumstances. Okay.

Neutral circumstances are true for everyone. They’re just facts, facts that can be upheld in a court of law, let’s say. So, the kids have to attend school from home, that is a fact. My workload has increased at work, tat is a fact. These are just facts. Everyone would say, yeah, that is true.

None of this means anything, until you have thought about it, until you choose a meaning that you want to assign to this particular circumstance. You with me so far? Circumstances, always neutral. If it’s something happening outside of our thoughts, feelings and actions, it is neutral, we have no control over it.

So the kids have to attend school from home is a circumstance, millions of parents are dealing with this right now. Right? This is just a neutral fact. Kids have to attend school from home, it does not mean you can’t, you can no longer focus on your health. It doesn’t mean you can’t train for a marathon.

Those millions of parents that are dealing with this right now, you know, half of them are probably out there, focusing on their health right now. They’re probably training for their first marathon right now. They’re figuring it out. Kids doing school from home does not mean you can’t run. If that were true, it would be true for everyone. But it’s not.

You’re choosing not to focus on your health, you’re choosing not to run. And what you’re doing is you’re using your kids having to do school from home, you’re using that as an excuse. Because what you’re trying to do is hard. And you don’t want to do it. Because it’s hard, because it’s uncomfortable. Because it’s gonna take a while.

By the way, nobody said this stuff was going to be easy. It’s why it’s a challenge. But you want that thing. You want it with all of your being. But instead, you’re choosing to focus on all these reasons, you’re choosing to believe, you’re choosing these reasons. This amazing story that you’re creating in your mind about why this won’t work for you.

And then I come in as your coach and I say, listen, here’s what your mind is doing, your brain is just making up these stories about why you can’t do this. This is a choice you’re making. These are just neutral circumstances, you can figure this out, let’s figure it out together. And then that’s when I get the pushback.

I get people digging in and fighting like hell, for all the reasons why they can’t do it. Why, you know, it’s different for them. They have all these stories, all these excuses, all these reasons. They defend these things, to their dying breath. They are fighting tooth and nail for these beliefs that they have about why they can’t do it. Why? It’s too hard for them and they argue with me.

No, it’s just the way it is Patrick, there’s nothing I can do about it. But you know what, there is something you can do about it. These are just beliefs that they are choosing. They’re arguing for their limitations. They’re basically saying like, look, I have these limitations. I can’t do it. Here’s all the reasons why. And then they list them all out.

And I hear stories and stories and stories. It doesn’t make any sense. You’re basically saying I want this goal. I want this thing that I’ve wanted for so long, but I know it’s a challenge, but it’s it’s too hard. And here’s all the reasons why I can’t do it.

They’re like focusing on the reasons why they can’t, creating all the reasons, all the excuses in their mind. And choosing to believe them. That’s the scary part right there. You’re choosing to believe these reasons. You’ve got to stop doing this. Just stop it right now.

Stop arguing for your limitations. Because the more you focus on why you can’t do it, the more reasons you’ll find, the more excuses you’ll find. You look for reasons why you’re failing and you will see these reasons everywhere. When you start looking for all the excuses, you will find them everywhere.

My friend Samantha says it this way. She says, “When you argue for your limitations, they’re yours to keep.” Powerful. So there’s another approach. This is the one that I would suggest you take on. It’s up to you though.

Let’s go back to those neutral circumstances. Okay, so my boss is asking a lot of me at work right now. It’s really stressing me out. So you can choose to believe that this workload is stressing you out, you can choose to believe that this means you can’t focus on your running anymore. You can’t focus on your health, and you have to like quit running.

You can choose to believe that this extra workload means you can just sit around and watch Netflix eating a whole pizza and half gallons of ice cream. And that’s just the way it is. As if you know, it’s all happening to you. What results do you think you’re gonna get from that? From taking those actions?

I can pretty much guarantee you’re not going to be running a marathon anytime soon, I can pretty much guarantee your health will definitely not be improving anytime soon. All right, my boss is asking me to do more work right now is a neutral circumstance. So what if you thought, you know, my boss was asking more of me. And I’m up to the challenge.

Hey, I’m really good at what I do. I’ve been doing this a long time. I’ve done way harder things in my life. This is no big deal. You know, I might need to adjust my training plan a little bit. But hey, I got this. Wow, that’s a little more powerful, isn’t it? or what have you tried on a thought like, nothing is more important to me than my health.

And running a marathon has been a dream of mine for way too long. Now, I’m not letting a little extra workload stop me from reaching this goal. You know, what if instead of looking for all your limitations, because when you look for them, you will find them? I promise you? What if you looked for all of the possibilities? Focus on why you can’t and you’ll find reasons why everywhere.

Also focus on why you can and you’ll find reasons why everywhere. If you get to choose what you want to believe about your circumstances, because they are neutral, why would you ever choose to believe that you can’t do it? Why would you choose to believe that this stuff means you can’t reach your goal?

Why would you ever choose failure? Because that’s what you’re doing. By the way, I don’t really believe there’s such a thing as failure. You either keep going until you succeed, or you quit. These are two choices that you get to make. And they have nothing to do with anything outside of you know, kids screaming, no workload can change that. These are choices you’re making. You either keep going until you succeed, or you quit. For me, quitting is just not an option.

These are choices you get to make based on your thoughts, your feelings and your actions. It has nothing to do with COVID. Okay. Lots of people are training for a marathon. Lots of people are building a business during this global pandemic. Lots of people are improving their health. I see it every single day. Lots of people are getting amazing coaching and changing their lives for the better. Stop using it as an excuse.

Sorry, this is where the old Tough Love is coming in. I do love you guys. I hope you know that. Everything I’m saying I’m saying with kindness and love. I’m smiling. But listen, where are you in your life with this right now? Like where are you arguing for your limitations? Think about this.

Like, let’s say you want to lose 50 pounds? It’s pretty common for a lot of people I’ve talked to. Why do you think you can’t do it? Think about that. Why do you think you can’t do it? Why? Why isn’t this going to work for you? Ask yourself that question. See what your brain comes up with for an answer.

So maybe you came up with answers like well, I’ve tried everything, nothing’s ever worked before or you know understand I’ve time to figure all this out right now I don’t even know where to begin. These are just reasons you came up with, they’re just thoughts in your head. They’re not the they’re not the truth unless you choose to believe them.

Take a look at the circumstances in your life right now. Ask yourself this question: What am I choosing to believe about this particular situation, whatever it is? You know maybe it’s the kids being home. A lot of people are talking to me about their kids being home and doing school from home and it’s posing some challenges, some unique challenges for people.

What are you choosing to believe about that situation? Are you holding on to a story or a belief about it? That means you can’t do this. You can’t succeed at your health goals or your weight loss goals or your running goals. If that’s you, like, maybe think about that, and what do you want to believe instead? You get to choose what to believe.

By the way, this is a very important question to ask your brain, what thought can I choose to believe? What thought can I choose to believe that will motivate me, that will fill me with courage and passion and excitement about this big goal? It’s so important to me. Maybe something like you know what, I’m going to lose 50 pounds, no matter how long it takes.

I’ve tried a bunch of other stuff. It didn’t work. That’s all behind me now. Now. Now is the time I’m going to figure this out. I will not stop until I figure it out. I will not quit until I succeed. This is way too important to me. I don’t want to ever feel sick and tired again.

I don’t know, I don’t really know where to begin with all this stuff. But I’m going to start today. And maybe I’ll ask for help. I’m going to seek out a coach, I’m going to get guidance, I’m going to get direction, I am going to make this work. Damn, that is a much more powerful way to approach something, right?

What if you took all that fight, all that energy that you’re putting into arguing for your limitations, and instead, put all that fight and all that energy into searching out like the possibilities and all the reasons why you’re going to succeed? I wonder what kind of results you’d get if you did that.

Remember, whether you think you can or you think you can’t. You’re right. Okay, I hope you don’t mind. This little bit of tough love for me today. So here’s what’s coming up in the Running Lean community on Facebook. Remember, I talked about doing the September intermittent fasting challenge.

We’re talking about time restricted eating, meal spacing, that kind of stuff. This week, we’re going to be talking about training in a fasted state running on empty. Why do we do this? It sounds crazy. I know. But why is this good for us? And why would we want to do this? Why would we choose to train without calories and without fuel?

So I’ll talk about that this week. So join us in the Facebook group, just go to Facebook and search for Running Lean community. That’s all I got for you today. Lots and lots of love to each and every one of you, my friends, keep on Running Lean, and I will talk to you soon.

If you’ve tried to lose weight by running miles and miles or starving yourself and you’ve had zero results, you are not alone. This model of weight loss is broken. It’s never worked, and it has to be replaced. That’s why I created a powerful new training just for you called How to Become a lien running machine. You’ll discover why running more and eating less does not work for weight loss and you’ll learn the three secrets to losing weight and keeping it off for good to get this free training right now just go to runningleanpodcast.com/lean and learn how you can become lean running machine.

33. The Power of Making a Real Commitment

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Today, I’m talking about what happens when you commit to achieving something, and I mean really committing to it. It’s like the difference between saying you’re going to run a marathon one day and …

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Podcast Transcript

My name is Patrick McGilvray. And I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, Master Life Coach, and weight loss coach for runners. I’ve learned that running more and eating less does not work for weight loss, and that there’s a better way. Now I help runners like you to get leaner and get stronger, so you can run faster and run longer than you ever thought possible. This is Running Lean.

Hey there, and welcome to episode number 33 of Running Lean. My name is Patrick McGilvray. I’m your host and weight loss coach for runners. And today I am talking about what happens when you commit to achieving something.

And I mean really committing to something, it’s like the difference between saying you’re going to run a marathon some day, and then actually signing up for a marathon. And then putting together a training plan and then actually training for it. There’s a big difference there.

There’s this subtle but very powerful shift that happens in your brain when you decide to go all in on a goal. Making a real commitment, especially early on in the process is often the one thing that differentiates those who succeed at reaching their goal and those who do not.

But first, I want to tell you a little bit about the Running Lean community on Facebook. If you like this podcast, then you have to come check out the Running Lean community. It’s a positive, energetic, informative group that goes hand in hand with the podcast. It’s a fun group of like minded runners who share common goals like losing weight, running easier, running farther and living a more vibrant life.

I do some weekly trainings in there on a host of topics like the running mindset, running nutrition, similar to the things that I talked about here on the podcast, weight loss, and so much more. So we can take a little bit of deeper dive into some of these issues, and topics.

Here’s a recent comment from a podcast listener and member of the Running Lean community Tammy, she said, “I’ve learned more from Patrick listening to and being part of the Running Lean community and podcasts for the past few months than I have in the past 30 years as an avid runner and workout junkie. His insight on running nutrition and life principles for optimal health are inspiring and encouraging. I’m enjoying running again, for the first time in years have lost weight and have incorporated the knowledge I’m learning into practice. It’s one thing to hear it, but another thing to have someone motivating you and encouraging you to make it happen. It’s made a huge difference. Highly recommend fellow runners to join in.”

Thank you, Tammy, you’re so sweet. Listen, I strive to be an example, to be an example of what is possible. I’ve accomplished a lot in my life for just an average guy. I’m not some elite athlete, I never went to the Olympics or anything like, you know, I’m an average guy. But I’ve done some pretty amazing things.

And I want to encourage you and maybe even push you a little bit to get you outside your comfort zone to help you to accomplish those things that you want in your life. So join us over in the Facebook group, it’s just go to Facebook and search for Running Lean community, you’ll find us it’s fun.

Also, if you’re interested in coaching with me, I’m always available for personal weight loss coaching for runners, you know, losing weight, becoming fat adapted learning how to run on your own body fat, it’s, it’s challenging, not gonna lie, and it’s kind of hard to do on your own. And everybody’s different.

We all have different goals, different needs,and different lifestyles. Working with me, you know, you and I working together, I’ll help you learn exactly how to become that lean, fat burning running machine and do it in a way that works for you and your specific needs and goals.

So you’ll get help and guidance you need to work through obstacles, I help point out your blind spots, things that you cannot see. You get a step by step action plan that will help get you to your goals you get accountability. That’s such a huge part of coaching is the accountability piece.

Motivation, encouragement, keeping moving forward, and tools and skills to help you improve every aspect of your life. Just imagine how much easier losing weight would be if you have someone right there showing you exactly what to do and holding you accountable. So if you want to ditch the sugar, if you want to get off the carbs, if you want to become fat-adapted, lose the weight, feel better, have more energy, you want running to be fun again, sign up with coaching with me. Just go to innerfiretribe.com/weightlosscoaching, one word. And let’s talk. Alright, cool.

So today I am talking about making a real commitment. And I want you to do something here, as I start talking about this, I want to encourage you to start thinking about a goal that you have. So what is that thing that you want to do that maybe you’re a little afraid to do? Or maybe it seems like it’s outside the realm of possibility, it might seem kind of impossible for you to accomplish it, whatever that goal is that you want.

And I want you to start thinking about that, while you’re listening to this episode. Keep that goal in mind, okay. So it might be like you want to lose 30 pounds, it might be you just want to become a fat adapted runner, you might, you may want to like sign up and run your first marathon, or maybe start trail running, or just be healthier overall, like learn how to eat healthier overall, whatever your goal is, doesn’t matter.

Just keep it in mind as we’re going through this material. And then at the end of this episode, I have a little challenge for you. And you’re probably already thinking you know what it is? So we’ll get there. Okay, so keep that goal in mind. You got it, you got it in your head. Awesome.

Okay, so here’s the thing, the difference between people who succeed at stuff and those who don’t, a lot of times just comes down to a commitment. Successful people decide that they are going to succeed, they make a commitment to reach their goal. No matter how long it takes, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how many challenges they face, they are committed to making that happen.

So they don’t necessarily have some superpower, they don’t have more drive than you, more determination, more willpower, or anything like that. They just early on in the process, they made a decision that they were going all in on this no matter what.

Okay, this is very important that you don’t have to have some gene that like, you know, is required for you to reach big goals, you just have to decide that you’re going to do it. Think about some of the things you’ve already done in your past.

So you’ve made some commitments in the past that were pretty epic. I know you have. And if you’re an avid runner, chances are you’ve signed up for marathons or a half marathon or a triathlon or a 5k or something like that. And at some point, you thought this was something you could never do, right?

And then at some point, you made a decision that you were going to do that no matter what. Early on in the process, you made a decision that you are going to do your first 5k. And I remember when I made the decision that I was going to run my first 10k. This was a big goal for me because I couldn’t run a mile without stopping. And so I made a decision to run a 10k.

And it was the Thanksgiving Day race here in Cincinnati, which is one of the oldest foot races in the country. And it’s been going on for over 100 years. And anyway, it’s a fun race. You know, 15-20,000 people show up on Thanksgiving morning, dress up like turkeys and run 10k. But 10k, you know, 6.2 miles seemed daunting to me, like, Whoa, that’s a big deal.

And so I started training for it. Well, I signed up for the thing, you know, and then I started, I put together a training plan. And when did we have the Internet back then? I don’t even know maybe I went online and picked a training plan. And then maybe I got a book. I don’t remember exactly. It would have been like 2003-2004 or something like that. So yeah, I guess we had the internet back then.

So anyway, I found a training plan. And then I like wrote it all into my calendar and I like stuck to it. Like I made the commitment that I was going to do this no matter what. And I trained hard and I ended up doing that. I made a decision early on in the process, no matter what I was going to cross that finish line.

And I’ve done this a bunch of other times too. When I trained for my first marathon, I made a decision at some point, I think I got kind of hooked after that 10k I was like, dang, if I could do that, I could do anything. I think the next race I signed up for was a marathon.

Actually, I just skipped the whole half marathon thing, and went straight for the marathon. And made a decision when I signed up for that marathon, I paid for it. I like signed up. And that was that was enough that was going to propel me forward. That’s what I needed to do. That was a decision that I had to make. That was the commitment that I had to make.

And then during my training for that first marathon, I ended up getting injured. I had stress fractures in my both of my tibias. And I had to take a bunch of time off of running like six to eight weeks or something like that, I probably didn’t take that much time off, but I had to take a bunch of time off. So it really messed up my training schedule.

My longest run, my longest training run for my first marathon was only 16 miles. So I’ve never run more than 16 miles. And so when I towed the line, at the start of my first marathon, the longest I’d ever run was 16 miles. So this was going to be 10 miles longer. But you know what? I did. I crossed that finish line.

And I’m convinced that making that real commitment early on, was like the rocket fuel that I needed to push me through all those trainings and to push me through injury. And to get me to that start line and get me to the finish line. A very powerful example of this is when I signed up for Ironman in 2013. At the beginning of the year, I decided I was going to do Ironman.

And I got online, and I signed up for Ironman Louisville. And I was like hovering over the submit button on that website form after putting all my information and my credit card information in and I was like, Oh my gosh, as soon as I click this button, I’m committed. That’s the power of making real commitment. And then, of course, I pushed the button.

And I was like, oh, my God, what did I just do? So it kind of like, freaked me out a little bit. And I was full of fear. And I just put together a training plan again. And I had to get through a lot of challenges. During that training, I was struggling with the bike, I couldn’t find the right kind of saddle, I was having all kinds of pain when I was riding, I crashed my bike, kind of like freaked me out when I did that.

You know, I put in like 20 hours a week of training for this thing. And there were so many challenges I had to face. And I’m convinced still, that it was that making that decision early on, that got me through all that training got me through all those obstacles. And that got me across the finish line in a successful completion of that Ironman. Still one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

But really, like when I made the decision, when I committed to finishing an Ironman, I knew in my heart and my brain, I knew I was going to do it. And that’s the way I approach things. Not always, but I try. And the same goes for every time I’ve trained for a marathon.

You know, I’ve run like two marathons a year for a bunch of years there. I haven’t done that in a couple of years. But for a while there, it was two marathons a year. And so I was pretty much training all the time. And so I would choose a race, sign up for it. And then I would show up for every single training run for those races. And that’s a commitment. That’s a commitment that goes deep, you know, and it’s something you have to do early on.

So you’ve got to make that commitment early on in the process. But here’s what happens when you make that real commitment. It’ll dictate how you show up every day. It’s got to be something that’s bigger than you first of all, because it has to keep you motivated. It has to keep you energized. It has to get you out there. Even when the weather really sucks when it’s super cold, or it’s dark, snowing, it’s like miserable. Or boiling hot. You know, depending on what time of the year you’re training.

It’s that commitment you make has to be epic. It has to be bigger than you. It has to keep you going even when you don’t feel like it. But when you make a real commitment to reaching a goal, that goal is as good as done. Now let’s transfer this like, think about other types of goals you might have, like, maybe you want to lose weight, or like I mentioned becoming fat-adapted, changing your diet. These same principles apply.

You have to make that commitment early on, it has to be an epic commitment, you have to make the decision that you are going to go all in, that you are going to succeed, no matter what, no matter what challenges come up, no matter how uncomfortable you might get, no matter how hard it might seem, in the moment.

Most people don’t do this though. Most people, you know, dabble in these concepts and principles, when we talk about losing weight, and changing your diet and what you’re eating, and how much you’re eating, and when you’re eating the kinds of foods you’re eating, people do it kinda sorta they don’t make that commitment, they don’t go out there.

And because they’re afraid, they’re afraid of how they might feel, because they might feel sluggish, they might have cravings, they might get an urge to eat some pizza or ice cream. And guess what, those people that kind of dabble that kind of go, not all in it goes sort of a little bit in, they get some little results.

And when things get challenging for them, which they will, they always do, they don’t have anything to fall back on, they don’t have any internal support system, you know, from within themselves. So they might like, maybe they’ve stopped eating sugar, and carbohydrates, okay. And they’re like, you know, I’m kind of committed to stop eating carbs.

And then they’re like, at a friend’s house, and they’re, you know, hanging around and they see a cookie right there. And there’s nothing in them that’s stronger than this urge they’re having in this moment, eat this cookie. And so they just eat cookie right there. You know, think about that, though.

They’re taking this moment, this tiny moment in time. And you know, even though they want to lose weight, they want their health to be better. They want to change the way they eat, they want to change the way they think about food and the way they feel about food. It’s causing them all kinds of problems. But in this moment, that one cookie sitting there is more important than all of that to them.

And they cave and eat the cookie. So that cookie is more important than who they ultimately want to be. Now, I’m oversimplifying this, and I get it sugar is very addictive. That’s why making this commitment to yourself is critical. It really is.

If you want to succeed at losing weight, if you want to succeed at changing your diet, if you want to succeed at becoming fat adapted. You know, you have to go all in with your commitment. You have to have this attitude of like, I am going to make this work no matter what.

When you do, it’s going to work. I can guarantee it. It’s all in your head. It’s all in your thoughts. It really is. But when we make these half ass commitments, you know what you get half assed results every single time. Half assed commitments will get you half assed results if that every single time.

And I know what you’re thinking, Patrick, it’s hard. It’s hard to stop eating sugar. It’s hard to change the way we think about food. And then I want to challenge that thought. Really, is it really harder than say training for a marathon? Is, you know, eating or not eating carbohydrates harder than sticking to a training schedule where you run four to five days a week for months and months on end through the dead of winter to train for a goal. Is that harder than that?

Is it harder than getting up early every Saturday morning? You know, running in the cold and the snow and the rain? I mean, believe me, I have done this so many times. I’ve had some very miserable Saturday morning runs that me and my running friends we still talk about oh yeah, remember that one 22 miler that we did in the freezing rain? Yeah. Where people’s like hands were numb? Yeah, I remember that.

Here’s the thing. You already do hard things. You’ve accomplished some amazing things already. I know you have and you’ve accomplished those things because you committed to accomplishing those things, you have to do that same thing here, I’m not asking you to do anything you haven’t already done.

You know, you just have to go all in, you have to decide early on that this is what you’re going to do, this is who you’re going to be. And that is going to help drive all of your actions. But what happens is we have these thoughts in our brain that this is hard, or I can’t do it. Or, you know, who am I? I’m not good enough. I’m not like you, or whatever the thoughts are, that we have.

So whether you think something is easy, or you think something is hard, these are all just thoughts in your brain, it doesn’t actually mean it’s easy or hard. You know, if you have a thought, like, I can try this fat adaptation thing for a while. And then if it gets kind of hard, I can just go back to eating the way I was before.

What do you think is going to happen if that’s your thought? I’ll tell you what’s going to happen. It will get hard, because it always does. And then you’re gonna go back to doing things the way you’ve always done them, which don’t work, and you’re just going to be stuck where you are. And that’s fine if that’s what you want. Totally fine. And I’ve had clients who’ve done this, so they quit, because they get uncomfortable. They think it’s too hard, and they can’t do it.

But here’s the thing, I have other clients who are doing the exact same thing. And for them, it’s like, super easy. They have just a different thought about it. It’s kind of interesting. Those people are like all in. They’re like, man, yeah, I’m totally committed to making this work. And I’ve had clients who have been like, hey, Patrick, this is challenging, but I’m, I’m committed to making this work.

How do we get through this obstacle? Like I hit a plateau? How do we break through this weight loss plateau here? And I’m like, let’s figure it out. That’s a much better place to come from. It’s very powerful. It’s empowering. Okay, saying it’s too hard. I can’t do it all that you’re giving all your power away, you’re just, you know, basically saying you’re not powerful enough, you can’t, you have no control over all this.

These are just thoughts in your brain, though. But when you make that commitment early on, and that’s just a thought too, by the way, but it’s a super powerful thought. I will do this no matter what. I love this quote from Tony Robbins, he says, “It’s in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. It’s in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.”

So think about those moments of decision that you have. What are you thinking in those moments? What are you deciding to think in those moments? What kind of a commitment are you making, in those moments of decision, because whatever it is, it will shape your destiny. Whether you think it will or not, it will. It is shaping your destiny.

It’s either moving you closer to your goal and ultimately will get you there, or it’s moving you further away. And you’ll just be stuck where you are. So honestly, the only thing that can stop you from reaching that goal is a thought in your brain. So think about like what thoughts are going through your brain right now around your goal? What thoughts are you having about it?

Some thoughts might be like let’s say your your goal is to you know, get off the sugar, become fat-adapted, lose some weight. Here’s some thoughts that people have. “I’m super addicted to sugar. I crave it all the time. There’s no way I can give it up. There’s just no way I can do it.” That’s just a thought.

Or, “I’ve tried to lose weight before. It’s never worked before. Why should it work now? I’m just gonna fail again. I know I will.” That’s just a thought. Or, “I’m gonna feel deprived. I’m gonna feel hungry all the time. I’m gonna have FOMO (fear of missing out) because other people get to eat pizza and I can’t.” That’s just a thought.

Or like, “This is just gonna be it’s just gonna be too hard. Or people will judge me. They’ll think I’m weird.” People think you’re weird anyway. So okay. People think I’m weird. People don’t like me. There’s a lot of people that don’t like me. I know. It’s crazy, right?

But anyway, there are people out there. And it’s okay. It’s just a thought. It’s just a thought that we all have. But these are like thoughts, all those thoughts that I just kind of ran through, these are actual thoughts from clients. They feel like they’re the truth, but they’re not. They’re just thoughts. They’re just like sentences in our brain. I’ve had clients who think that losing weight on like a low carb high fat diet is the easiest thing they’ve ever done. They say it’s simple, it’s fun.

There’s a lot of freedom in it, and they love doing it. These are just thoughts that people have. And those people that have those kinds of thoughts will tell you what? They reach their goals, and it’s fun, and they enjoy it. Just a thought.

So I want to encourage you to like, go all in whatever that goal is that we were talking about earlier that you are thinking about, let all this stuff come up all these thoughts that you might have, it’s okay, just allow those thoughts should be there, because they’ll come up. But keep going anyway.

You know, we don’t succeed, because we never have never negative thoughts, we succeed because we have negative thoughts. We allow them and we keep going anyway. You know, think about the marathon training, have you ever been out on a long training run in your thought, this sucks, I’m never gonna finish. It’s too hard. I’m never gonna be able to finish this thing. Maybe I should just quit.

Of course, we’ve all had that thought, right. Especially on that cold 20 miler where we had the freezing rain. I was like, this really blows, I hate running. But I kept going anyway, and I finished it. You know, so we could have those thoughts and still do the deal and still, you know, move towards our goal, we can still take the action we need to take to get us there.

Those thoughts can be with us, they can come along for the ride with us, but they’re not driving the bus. They’re like in the passenger seat over there. Okay, we want the thoughts, that’s those, those epic commitments that we have that like, I’m going to do this no matter what we want that driving the bus, okay.

So, something I want you to do here is to think about this, this is a cool kind of exercise you can do. And it’s important that you kind of do this and think about that commitment level that you want to reach that goal that you have, okay. Your six year success, like reaching that goal, achieving that goal, it’s as good as done, when your reason for sticking to it is more compelling than some, you know, physical craving, or some emotional desire or some thought like, I just don’t feel like doing this.

So here’s the kind of little exercise you can do in your mind, it’s a very easy thing to do. But I want you to like, go out into the future, like put yourself out into your future. And you have accomplished that goal. So it is done. So you’re at your goal weight, or you’ve crossed the finish line of that marathon, or you’re healthy and happy, you have a different relationship with food, whatever your goal was, you’ve achieved it, it is done and think about this.

How did you make that happen? How did you get here? What’s the main reason you were able to achieve this goal? What was the commitment that you made early on that kept you going? Obviously, it was something that was very compelling, because it got you through all the challenges, all the obstacles, or the all the hard stuff. It wasn’t some half assed commitment. Right? You went all in.

So what did that look like for you? How did that feel to have that commitment driving you all that time? That got you there? How did that feel? Now hold on to that feeling. And here’s the challenge that I have for you. So at the beginning of the episode, I talked about thinking about a goal, right? Here’s the challenge for you, I want you right now, holding on to that feeling, I want you to make the commitment that you are going to reach that goal no matter what.

No matter how long it takes, no matter how hard it might seem to you right now, it might seem impossible for you right now. Still make the commitment. Doesn’t matter how challenging things you’re gonna get or you don’t, you don’t even have to know how you’re going to make it happen. You just have to commit to making it happen. Do that right now.

This is the challenge, make a real commitment right now. And then come over into the Running Lean community on Facebook and share that goal with us. What I bet that just made you feel uncomfortable, right? You’re like oh, I don’t know about sharing my goal. Because it makes it real when you do that. I know it’s scary. And some people don’t like to share their goals and that is totally fine.

Personally, I do share my goals with a few key people in my life like with my coach, with some very close friends, you know, I have some, some goals with my business and things like that, and some, you know, goals for my health and things. I don’t share it like, in a super overt way.

But sometimes I do, sometimes I post in groups, or share with, you know, groups of people, goals that I have. And it’s actually pretty powerful to do that. So if you’re the kind of person that wants to share something with a group of people that would encourage you, I want to encourage you to do that in the Facebook group, just post your goal in there and say, my goal is, or I’m committed to, let’s write it that way.

I’m committed to and then share your goal with us write a post, and then we’re all going to tell you that you can do it, and we’re going to help you achieve that goal. It’ll be fun, and scary, and awesome and amazing and powerful.

Okay. I know some of you are like cringing right now you’re like, dude, really, I don’t want to do that. You don’t have to do that. But I want you to make that commitment in your mind, regardless of whether you post it or not, whether you share it with the world, I want you to make that real commitment in your mind to reach that goal.

And then see what happens, see what amazing, powerful things you can do. Okay, so we’re gonna continue this conversation in the Running Lean community on Facebook. So just go to Facebook, search for Running Lean community, and join us it’s going to be super epic.

And if you enjoy this podcast and you get something out of it, if it helps you in some way, you can show your support by just leaving a quick review on iTunes, I would really appreciate that. Alright, that’s all I got for you today. As always, lots of love to each and every one of you. Keep on Running Lean, and I’ll talk to you soon.

If you’ve tried to lose weight by running miles and miles or starving yourself and you’ve had zero results, you are not alone. This model of weight loss is broken. It’s never worked, and it has to be replaced. That’s why I created a powerful new training just for you called How to Become a Lean Running Machine. You’ll discover why running more and eating less does not work for weight loss and you’ll learn the three secrets to losing weight and keeping it off for good to get this free training right now just go to runningleanpodcast.com/lean and learn how you can become a lean running machine.

16. The Secrets to Achieving Any Goal

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Today I'm talking about the right way vs. the wrong way to set goals. The problem is most people pick some random goal, it's usually too small, and they kinda sorta come up with a plan for making it …

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Podcast Transcript

My name is Patrick McGilvray, and I’m an experienced marathoner, ultra runner, running coach and mindset expert. I believe mindset is the most powerful and most underrated tool you have as a runner. So I’ve devoted my life to helping runners like you develop the mindset you need to fuel your inner fire and become the badass runner you were meant to be. This is The Running Mind podcast.

Well, hey there, and welcome to The Running Mind podcast. My name is Patrick McGilvray. I’m your host, and the life coach for runners. And I teach you how to stop struggling and start getting the results that you want in your life. And that’s what I teach here on the podcast is how to manage your mind.

So you can take control of your life. So you can do things like lose weight, and stop drinking, and become the most badass version of yourself. Because you know what? You can do, be, and have anything you want in this world, you are capable of so much more, you are capable of magnificence. And once you really, really believe this, there’s nothing you can’t do.

This is kind of what I’m talking about today, how to set big, powerful goals for yourself, for your life, and how to make them happen. How to achieve whatever it is that you want. And so here’s the problem with the way most people set goals. So most people, they just pick some random goal out of the air, maybe it’s something they think they shouldn’t do, like, a lot of other people are qualifying for Boston, maybe I should do that.

And so they think, okay, I’ll do that. Or maybe they’re, you know, overweight, and they’re like, hey, I should probably lose 40 pounds, there’s a goal, I’ll just do that. You know, or maybe I’m kind of unhappy with my job, maybe I’ll just like, become an entrepreneur, I’ll start my own business. So they pick something, right?

And then they pick a date, and they’re like, okay, I’m gonna accomplish this by, you know, in six months, or whatever, some random date in the future. And then they might have some vague idea in their head of what they’re supposed to do to reach that goal. So they might kind of like, do a training program, if they’re trying to qualify, or the, you know, like I should pick some diet to try to lose some weight, or, you know, maybe they’ll watch some YouTube videos on how to be an entrepreneur or something like that.

And so they kind of sorta take some action, and then, you know, kind of work toward that goal. Doesn’t that sound terrible? The way I’m explaining this, saying this out loud actually sounds kind of depressing to me right now, honestly. But here’s the thing, this is the way most people do it.

And they think that they’re doing it the right way. They don’t really know any better, it’s fine. Not calling anybody out here. But then they don’t hit the goal. And then they feel like they are a failure. And goal setting doesn’t work. I’m a failure, they get down on themselves. And they just quit and just go about their life. And they never get anything done. They never accomplish anything great. They never reach any kind of goals.

And I’m saying all this because this, this was me. Like I know exactly what this feels like I’ve done all of this so many times. I’ve picked some goals, I’ve kind of set some, you know, put some action steps in place to try to get those goals and I’ve done it so many times, and then I’ve failed. And then I just continually beat myself up over it. And I figure I’m just a failure and I can’t accomplish anything.

I’ve learned the hard way that is a terrible way of setting and accomplishing anything. This way of goal setting is broken and has to be changed. So today, I’m going to walk you through a better way of setting goals. But more importantly, I’m going to teach you how to achieve those goals.

And it doesn’t matter what they are, the process is the same for whatever goal we’re talking about here. And a quick little side note on the word goal versus outcome. I like the word outcome better than goal. And here’s why. From NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming words, we believe that words are very important. Okay.

So when we say the word goal, our brain, our subconscious mind especially comes up with this pick that’s sure of something that’s way out in the future, something that we have not achieved yet. Something that’s, you know, out there somewhere, it seems far away. Whereas when we say the word outcome, this is almost like past tense, okay, it has been done, it has been accomplished.

And the subconscious mind paints a picture of you having achieved that outcome. So I can see it, I can hear it, I can feel it. And this is kind of a better way of thinking about it. So, I prefer the word outcome. And maybe you can start adopting that when we start talking about goals.

Okay, so this is what we’re talking about today, how to set and achieve all of your outcomes. So strap in, is going to be fun. So the first thing I want to encourage you to do, the first step in achieving outcomes, is to pick an uncomfortable goal. Most people think, too small, they pick a goal, that seems like something they could do.

And the problem with this is that we never grow, when we stay comfortable. When we stay inside our comfort zone, we don’t grow. And if you want to get somewhere else, somewhere different from where you are right now, you have to think big. You know, think about what you really want.

And when you think about that thing that you really want, it should make you feel somewhat uncomfortable. If it feels too easy and too comfortable. It’s not a big enough goal, okay? In order to grow beyond who you are, right now, in this moment, you have to do things you’ve never done before. But this scares people because they’re like, well, I don’t know how to do it.

And of course you don’t, because you’ve never done it before. The way you learn how to do it, is to do it. So you gotta get outside of that comfort, comfortable bubble that you’re in, okay? And think about this, what do you really want? Who do you want to be? What do you want to accomplish, let’s say in six months, or a year. So we’re really good at coming up with little tiny goals that we can achieve. Because it’s almost like we know we can do it. But what about those things you don’t know, those things that you’re afraid you may not be able to accomplish? Those are the things we want to be focused on. Okay.

So set a big, uncomfortable goal. Get outside your comfort zone, and then start, you know, your subconscious mind will start moving you towards that thing. And this is where all the beautiful things happen in our life. This is where we grow, where we learn, nothing happens in our comfort zone, nothing really good happens that way and we just stay where we are. Okay, so number one is pick an uncomfortable goal, something that makes you feel uncomfortable when you think about it.

Number two, is you have to have a compelling why. You need to know why this goal, this outcome that you want is so important to you take some time to really figure this out. So maybe you want to lose those 40 pounds, so you don’t end up dead at 45 from a heart attack. You know, you want to be there to play with your kids and to play with your grandkids.

You know, maybe you want to quit drinking so you can stop feeling hungover every morning and stop all the obsessing about when you’re going to get that next drink. You want to experience the freedom that comes from breaking habits like overeating and over drinking. These are very compelling reasons why you would want to change why you want to accomplish that goal.

So have a compelling reason why and your why has to move you. You have to feel it in your bones. It has to be something bigger than you. When you think about why you want to accomplish this. It has to create, there has to be, an emotional response inside you. Okay, if it does, and if you don’t feel it, it’s not big enough. The goal is not big enough, your reason is not strong enough.

So you need a compelling reason why this is important to you. This is the thing, this reason, this is the thing that’s going to keep you going when it gets tough because it will get tough. If you’re setting a big uncomfortable goal. Every step along the way is good. An uncomfortable goal is going to challenge you, it’s going to be difficult, there’s going to be difficult, there’s going to be failures all along the way, having that compelling reason why will help keep you going, okay?

Number three, you have to believe in yourself. First, you have to believe it, before you see it. You have to have the confidence and trust in yourself to know that you will get there no matter what. And the way you do this is by becoming who you need to be in order to get that outcome that you’re looking for.

We get this backwards a lot, we don’t get the goal, then become the kind of person that could get a goal like that. We become the kind of person first and then we get the goal. For example, when I was training for Iron Man, I had to become an Iron Man, I had to become an Iron Man finisher. If I wanted to be an Ironman finisher, does that make sense?

In my mind, in my heart, I had to become an Iron Man, in order to be the kind of person that I needed to be to do the kind of things I needed to do to get those results. So I had to adopt the identity of being an Iron Man, and start thinking and acting like an Iron Man, what would Iron Man do?

You know, my values had to be in alignment with my goals. So training became super important to me, I was sticking to my training schedule, no matter what that became something that was really important to me. My beliefs had to be in alignment with my goal, I had to believe without a doubt that I was going to accomplish this.

And that I had everything it takes to be an Ironman finisher, I had to tap into new potentials, I had to learn new things, I had to be the kind of person that read the kind of books that an Iron Man would read, I listened to the kind of podcasts an Iron Man would listen to. I did the research about the sport, like I researched everything about the sport, I’m a passionate researcher.

I did all of these things so that I could learn as much as I could and tap into that potential. My daily schedule of the things that I did, my behaviors, my actions, I changed all this stuff, because I became who I needed to be. So I could accomplish this huge goal. So in order to achieve that outcome, finishing an Ironman, first I had to become an Ironman. And this is where we get things backwards.

Typically, we think we need to do things in order to get results so that we can become who we want to be. Instead, we need to become who we need to be. So that we can do what we need to do to get the results that we want in our lives. And when you do it this way, all of your values, the things that are important to you become clear, your beliefs become clearer, the actions you take become clearer. And you’re almost guaranteed to get the results that you’re looking for.

Alright, the next thing you need to do is write down all the steps you need to take to achieve your outcome. This sounds pretty simple. At first, but a lot of people will say to me, well, Patrick, I don’t know all the steps. If I knew all the steps, I would do it but you know what you do know?

And here’s how you do it, you just get a blank page out, grab a pen, and do what we call a thought download. You just write down everything you can think of that you would need to do to get from where you are today to where you need to be to where you achieve this goal, which is get it all out on the page. And just keep asking yourself, what else would I need to do? What else would I need to do?

So we’re looking for all those tiny little action steps that you need to take so that you can achieve this outcome. Get it all out on the page once you get it all out on the page. And you should have a lot of stuff on there.

The next thing you do is just take all those steps and put each one on your calendar. That becomes an appointment on your calendar. And then, and this is the most important thing, is do every one of those things on your calendar. This is the key to achieving any outcome that you want. You put an appointment on your calendar, and it becomes a commitment that you make to yourself. You know, the path from where you are to where you want to be is paved with steps. Achieving a big goal is just a series of small steps that gets you from where you are to where you want to be.

There’s just small actions we’re talking about here. But once you do each one, once you achieve them all, then you have reached your goal. I like the analogy of like, you know, hiking up a mountain, you’re walking up a mountain, and you just keep taking one step after another one step after another. They’re tiny steps when you look at each one. But combined, they get you up to the top of the mountain. And the view from up there is pretty amazing. Okay, so get everything down on the page and get it all on your calendar, and then do them all.

Alright, the next thing is identifying obstacles. So when you write all this stuff down, and you start putting all this stuff on your calendar, all this resistance is going to come up, you’re gonna start to feel a lot of fear, and a lot of anxiety. And you’re gonna start coming up with all these excuses. And all these reasons why this stuff is never going to work or that you can’t do it, you’re going to come up with this huge list of all the possible things that will, you know, could possibly go wrong, okay, this is completely normal, it’s part of the process, we want to embrace this part of the process.

Normally, we start thinking about all these obstacles and stuff, and we kind of freak out and we just want to pretend like they don’t exist and just kind of move on. But this is not the right way to do it, we want to embrace the obstacles, okay. So the way we do this is we do another thought download, so we grab another piece of paper, and then we start writing down all the obstacles that we can think of, we just get them all out on the page.

This is a kind of a painful process, honestly, you start writing down all these things that could possibly go wrong, or get in your way, you know, maybe, you know, so and so, you know, thinks I’m stupid for trying to do this, or, you know, my family isn’t going to be on board with this, or I’m afraid of what people will think of me, or I’ve tried stuff like this before, and it’s never worked. Or I think this is going to be too hard, or whatever it is, come up with all those obstacles, get them all down on the page.

And then for each one of these obstacles, come up with a strategy for overcoming that obstacle. All right, and this is like magic right here. So if you’re looking at, you know, your obstacles, and one of them is, I’m afraid of what people will think of me. You know, maybe your strategy for overcoming that is working on your mindset, you know, creating thoughts around those thoughts.

Like, it doesn’t matter what other people think, I believe in myself. That’s what’s most important to me, like, that’s a much better thought, then, you know, other people will will think I’m stupid, or think I can’t do this. So for every obstacle that comes up, write down a strategy for overcoming that obstacle. And then every obstacle just ends up being a rung on the ladder to success to your goal. It’s really powerful exercise to do.

Okay, then after you’ve got your obstacle ladder, so to speak. The next thing is to follow through. And this is the difference between people who achieve goals and people who don’t is whether or not they actually do what they say they’re going to do. You need to learn to count on yourself to do what you said you’re gonna do. You need to practice making promises to yourself and keeping them you know, every action step goes on your calendar, right? And then you’re gonna have this huge list of stuff, this huge calendar full of stuff that you need to do. And you’ve said yourself, here’s the goal that I want, here are all the steps I need to take. They’re on my calendar now. I just got to do them, right? And you just do them.

But what happens is you’re going to come to that day and that time and you’re going to say you know what, I really don’t feel like doing this one thing you know, maybe I’ll just go watch Netflix for a while. I’m I’m kind of tired. I don’t really feel like training today. I don’t really feel like doing the work to build my business today. I don’t really feel like sticking To my protocol, my eating protocol, I think I’ll just, you know, go ahead and eat this whole pizza. I’ve been there, I know what it feels like.

But the way we build self confidence is is that we make promises to ourselves, we make commitments to ourselves, and then we follow through on those commitments, even when you don’t feel like it. So you make a promise to yourself, and you follow through, you make a promise to yourself, and you follow through, you make a promise, and you follow through and you keep doing this.

When you do this, you build this amazing amount of trust in yourself. You build unshakable confidence in yourself, to where you feel like you can achieve anything that you want. So this is what we call honoring the calendar no matter what. So everything you’re you’re going to do becomes an action item on your calendar. And you do them even if you don’t feel like it. Okay.

The last piece of this is failure. I want you to embrace failure. What did you just say? That’s right, I said, I want you to embrace failure. So what happens if you fail? Most people, what do they do when they fail? They just give up right? Honestly, I don’t believe there’s such a thing as a failure. I just think there’s stuff that works and stuff that doesn’t work. In NLP, we say there is no failure. There’s only feedback.

This thing I tried, did it work? Yes or no? What’s the feedback? Did it work? Yes, it did. Okay, cool. I’ll do more of that. Did it work? No, it did not. Why didn’t it work? What can I learn? What do I need to change? How can I do things differently next time so that I get a different result?

And we just keep practicing. Now we try something, it works or it doesn’t. And if it doesn’t, we try something else. And here’s the secret. Just keep doing this. There really is no such thing as failure. There’s only quitting. So people really don’t fail, they just quit, they give up. But the more times you do something and fail, the more confidence you build, because you keep overcoming this failures. So I encourage you to fail. I encourage you to plan on failing, plan on failing a bunch of times before you get things right.

No one’s ever really achieved anything of significance by succeeding every single step of the way. You get to success by creating a huge pile of failures. Failing is how you do it. It’s how you get there. I always say success is a terrible teacher, you don’t learn anything by getting everything right all the time. You learn by failing, and trying something else, and learning from those mistakes. So fail often.

So, quick recap. To achieve any goal, any outcome that you want. First thing is pick an uncomfortable goal, get outside your comfort zone has to be bigger than you. Number two have a compelling why. Why do you want to accomplish this, what’s going to keep you going when it gets tough? Number three, believe it first, believe it and then you’ll see it. Number four, get all the steps and get them all on your calendar. Number five, identify all the obstacles you can think of and then create strategies for overcoming each one of those. And this just becomes a ladder to your success. Number six, follow through. Honor your calendar no matter what, do what you say you’re going to do. And then number seven, embrace failure, fail often. And that’s it. That’s how you achieve anything you want in your life.

I know this might sound a little daunting to you just listening to this right now. And I will tell you, it can be challenging to do this on your own. And that’s what having a good coach does for you is to help you with every single one of these steps. And this is the work that I do with all of my clients. We look at every step I just laid out. And we make sure that we are always on track.

And I help my clients identify those things that they cannot see themselves. It’s really hard to to see yourself it’s hard to you know, see those your blind spots, you know, so that’s what a good coach will do to help you to see those things that you cannot see for yourself. So whether you want to lose weight, whether you want to quit drinking, you get the accountability, the follow through, you get the strategies, all of this by working with a coach.

You don’t want to create a pile of failures. And I help my clients work through all of that so they can achieve the result that they want in their life. Well, I’d love to hear what you thought about this particular topic, you can always reach out to me with questions or comments Hello at inner fire tribe.com And that’s all I got for you today. I hope to see you soon. Much love to each and every one of you.

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